problems with mom & friends

[ccsmod8]

Re: problems with mom & friends

Hello,

Thank you for reaching us to again and we are glad to have been here to help you through the difficult questions surrounding your present and past situations. It is good to see that you now have a positive outlook on certain issues you faced a while back and that you are willing to figure out ways to overcome a lot of what you are struggling with still. If you believe that things are going to be okay in the end then it is likely that it is going to be so. Your willingness to go forward to conduct a physical to get help with the sleep situation is encouraging. There are medication for sleeplessness and getting some rest has been proven to reduce stress and can help with the betterment of life.

You are welcome to try our 1800Runaway number again to speak to any of our liners. We are confidential and non-judgemental. We recieve calls in order of availability so it is important that you wait for someone or call back at a more convenient time. Is it possible that you got anxious when you first call? It is completely normal to feel that way but there are benefits to getting out some of what you are feeling with a live person.

The last thing we wanted to note was that you are in a position to use counseling for whatever direction you want to take it in. Couselors are confidential and have to respect your decision for what you choose to talk about. Is it possible to talk about what you overcame or ways you intend to move forward instead of dealing of the issue of cutting? These are just a few things to consider in the meantime as you prepare for your appointments. Take this time to feel empowered and reach us to others in the mean time. Good luck and we look forward to hearing from you.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: problems with mom & friends

My appointment is for sometime in November. And I had a few more questions:
1. Could I request that I see a counselor (even if the doctor didn't know about the self-injury)?
2. Would they ask me why I want to see a counselor?
3. If I did go to a counselor, would what I say be held in complete confidence? Would my family or anyone at my school have to know what I discuss with a counselor?

I know that these questions are really random, considering the fact that I've been avoiding seeing a counselor, but I think that it would be very beneficial for me to talk to someone.
The only problem is, it's something that I'm supposed to keep my mouth shut about (according to my mom). I've already talked to my best friend about it, and it just feels awkward. I know that she wouldn't tell anyone, but it's just one of those situations where no one would really know how to respond.

The situation is that my cousin, who is 18 going on 19, is self-injuring. He burns himself so deep that his scars are black. I've never been close to him, but he is my family and I'm worried. Some people in my family fear that he may be suicidal. He refuses to see a psychiartist/psychologist or take a mental health test; because he's not a minor, there's nothing that anyone can really do about it.

My mom told me about this a few days ago. She was saying how my cousin could be mental or how he could be depressed because he self-injures. I defended him in saying that not everyone who does that is mental or depressed (though I think my cousin may be because he's gone through so much in his life). My mom kept asking me questions about it, and I felt guilty for knowing just a little too much about self-injury because I have done it before.

This is something that I just can't hold in; that's why I want to see a counselor, because my mom doesn't want anyone to know about this. I'm pretty sure that my mom wouldn't even want a counselor or NRS to even know about this. I'm really worried.


I also was wondering what would happen if I was prescirbed sleep medication because I don't want to take medication. I don't want the temptation of having my own pills; not that I would try to commit suicide, it just makes me think about it. There's also a warning on most sleeping aids that mention an increase or cause of thoughts of suicide. I really don't want that. I plan on liveing as long as I can.

[ccsmod8]

Re: problems with mom & friends

Hello,

We are pleased that you have journeyed through some of the stages you were caught up in some time ago and truly appreciate you trusting us enough to continue on this path with you. It sounds like you are really on top of things with your scheduled appointment for November and have the confidence that you are going to gain much more from this visit even if means figuring out ways to gain more sleep. You have the right through your parents to request a counselor of your choosing to deal with your self-injury situation. The doctor you see in November for sleep and the counselor you choose to visit to deal with another situation is completely separate unless you wanted the doctor you see in November to recommend a counselor for you. You are allowed to reach out to other facilities in your area for assistance if your mother was able to help. It is a matter of what needs you have for when you visit the counselor because they usually asked you what you want to talk about and it is usually in your control with what is brought up during these sessions. Counselors are required to remain confidential and your information is expected to be held in the strictest confidence from schools and even family.

All of the questions you asked so far are great questions so you do not have to be hard on yourself for trying to figure out the best ways to get a better understanding of your own situation. You certainly deserve every resource that is out there to help you. Do not feel worried for knowing a lot about self-injury because it is better to know a lot than not to know at all and you are probably the best candidate to educate your family or cousin about this situation but it is probably best to get help first before you take on more burden with other issues. It shows strength on your part that you were able to open up about it with friends because it is good to get some of what you are feeling out in the open. If you ever feel like you are not able to hold it in any longer, you are also welcome to give us a call at 1800runaway. We are here to help you even if it means to just listen.

The issue with taking medication is that sometimes people can get a bit dependent on them but if it is within your control, it a matter of seeing how you react to taking them at first and you should probably talk more to your doctor in November about what the risk factors are for taking what the doctor prescribes. If you are worried about monitoring your own medication, it is probably best to get your mother to hold on to them and that way you do not feel tempted. All of your concerns are valid in that you do not wish to commit suicide but having a means to can be a scary thing but you are ahead in this process because you at least recognize that you have been thinking about it since you are going to have medication at your disposal. However, the way you are thinking lately is more on the positive than negative and at least you are not going out of your way to just get medication so that you put yourself in more harms way. You have shown that you have done everything in your power to deal with one issue and then another and that you are keeping an open mind. In order to continue feeling positive and getting out your thoughts especially when they overlap, it is probably a good thing for you to continue to reach out to your mother or try to reach us in time of need. Until we hear from you again we wish you all the best. Gook luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: problems with mom & friends

I made a mistake, the appointment is on October 8th. That means I have less time to think things through. My friend says it's not likely that a doctor would express concern if she just saw scars; I don't believe that. So I'm definitely not anticipating the appointment (I'm also freaking out about my weight ).

I also had another question. To what degree of confidence would a school counselor hold if I told her everything I've discussed with you? I really want to talk to someone, but my schedule is so busy. I'm risking getting caught by my parents by doing this. They're always around, so I can't call the hotline either.

I really do want to be strong for my family, but I'm also afraid of expressing my viewpoint and opinions of self-injury because my mom might be suspicious. My mom hasn't said anything yet, but she asked me how I knew about it. I kind of waited 'til she left; then I freaked out.

Thank you for trying to help.

[ccsmod8]

Re: problems with mom & friends

Hello,

We certainly recognize this to be a very difficult time for you and you obviously have your reasons for why you are freaking out now with all the stress that is caused, from being thrown off schedule with appointments to seeking answers to some of the most difficult issues you may have to face for some time. We want you to know that we appreciate your efforts and energy that makes want to continue to make sense of all of the situations you have struggled through. We see that you are still trying to remain confident that everything is slowly going to come together for you.

We are not sure about what confidentiality policy your school counselor may have but you have to understand that schools often look for red flags and try to help from there. It is likely that it is going to be in your best interest that the counselors has if they had to go out of their way to seek other resources to get you the help you need. However, it is probably best that you find out from a school personnel or asked the school nurse specifically. Although your appointment is next month it is not going to be about self injury and we know that is what you are freaked out about. Try to remain positive and do what is in your power to continue speaking with someone about how you feel right now. We feel that we have done a lot with the bulletins and although you cannot call us right now you are also able to use to pay phone outside of your house when you have time to talk. Until we hear from you, Good Luck.

[Guest]

Re: problems with mom & friends

"We are not sure about what confidentiality policy your school counselor may have but you have to understand that schools often look for red flags and try to help from there. It is likely that it is going to be in your best interest that the counselors has if they had to go out of their way to seek other resources to get you the help you need. However, it is probably best that you find out from a school personnel or asked the school nurse specifically."

How exactly would I go about doing any of this without raising any red flags? Like I said, I'm done with my self injury.

You mentioned this in a past post:
"Do not feel worried for knowing a lot about self-injury because it is better to know a lot than not to know at all and you are probably the best candidate to educate your family or cousin about this situation but it is probably best to get help first before you take on more burden with other issues. It shows strength on your part that you were able to open up about it with friends because it is good to get some of what you are feeling out in the open."

I would like to help educate my family, but if it came down to confessing (which I'm not saying will happen...ever) what should I say? Where should I start? I don't know what my mom would do if I told her that the things she said caused me to self-injure sometimes. Of course that wasn't the only reason though, but it might be enough to knock her off edge. She's seen one of the scars on my wrist (back when I'd actually began to leave marks) and she freaked out; she even said, "Oh my god, what is that?! It looks like you tried to do something to yourself!" She also saw scars on my stomach (which she almost made an appointment for right away) until I lied and told her that they were acne scars. She also thinks that self-injury is something that mental and depressed people do. When she heard about my cousin, I told her that in some cases that is not true. Anyways, I really wouldn't know what to do if I absolutely had to confess.

[ccsmod5]

Re: problems with mom & friends

To Anonymous1992,

We are glad that you have felt comfortable enough to keep us up to date with your story and its progress, however, it's come to a point where this can no longer continue via bulletins. It's becoming extremely difficult to explain and understand certain parts of the conversation. We really truly want to provide as much assistance as we can but the bulletins are not set up to work in this manner.

Please remember that we are anonymous and confidential and all our liners will remain non-directive and never tell you what to do. We will do you best to help out. Please call if you want to continue this conversation. Best of luck and we hope to hear from you soon. 1800 RUNAWAY

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: problems with mom & friends

Well, thanks for trying to help anyways. I know that I definitely don't have all the answers I desired now that this can no longer continue via bulletins. I won't be calling the hotline because it's not possible for me to do so at the moment; I won't be talking to anyone else about this either because I don't know who to talk to. I can't trust anyone else. Meanwhile, I'll just let this bottle up inside me. If I explode, well, I'll just have to learn how to clean up the mess later...THANKS A LOT.