Lately, there's been a lot of tension between my mother and I. Ususally, we get along, and I love her, but I don't think that she realizes that the things she's been saying to me really hurt.
In the past, I've self-injured, but I made a promise to my friends that I would try to stop. It has been about three months since I made that promise without doing anything to hurt myself, but I broke that promise just 2 days ago.
My mother has been really difficult with me lately about losing weight. At first, she wasn't really mean about it at all, but then she really started getting on my nerves.
I have really low self-esteem to begin with and she lowers it even more.
One time, in public she made this comment about the way I look, "God, NAME HERE, you look like you're 6 months pregnant. You really need to do something about that."
From there, it kept going downhill with the mean comments. Honestly, I don't know if she knows what this is doing to me. Nearly 3 months, and I've done so well, until this. Now, it's really difficult for me to say, " I love you, Mom,"
And what's even better is that no one would believe me because my mom acts so nice around my friends. My mom would just play it off and say that I'm over exaggerating.
The worst part is, she doesn't know about the self-injury. She saw some of the scars on my stomach, and I told her they were acne scars because she wouldn't listen to me if I told her the truth; I would just end up getting yelled at even more.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT SHE MAKES ME WISH I WAS DEAD.
Now that school's about to start, I know that my friends are gonna see the scars, and I'll have to face them too.
I hate lying to everyone, but I don't know what else to do. I'm afraid to talk to anyone I know about it because they might over-react. I called the National Runaway Switchboard hotline, and after a minute, I freaked out and hung up the phone. My mother won't bother to make a conference call either.
I'm really sick of living with her, feeling like this, and hurting myself. She says she's only saying those things because she loves me, and I have a hard time believing that. And I'm really tired of having such a low self-esteem; I'm tired of running away from mirrors.
I wish I could tell her to stop.
In the past, I've self-injured, but I made a promise to my friends that I would try to stop. It has been about three months since I made that promise without doing anything to hurt myself, but I broke that promise just 2 days ago.
My mother has been really difficult with me lately about losing weight. At first, she wasn't really mean about it at all, but then she really started getting on my nerves.
I have really low self-esteem to begin with and she lowers it even more.
One time, in public she made this comment about the way I look, "God, NAME HERE, you look like you're 6 months pregnant. You really need to do something about that."
From there, it kept going downhill with the mean comments. Honestly, I don't know if she knows what this is doing to me. Nearly 3 months, and I've done so well, until this. Now, it's really difficult for me to say, " I love you, Mom,"
And what's even better is that no one would believe me because my mom acts so nice around my friends. My mom would just play it off and say that I'm over exaggerating.
The worst part is, she doesn't know about the self-injury. She saw some of the scars on my stomach, and I told her they were acne scars because she wouldn't listen to me if I told her the truth; I would just end up getting yelled at even more.
SHE DOESN'T KNOW THAT SHE MAKES ME WISH I WAS DEAD.
Now that school's about to start, I know that my friends are gonna see the scars, and I'll have to face them too.
I hate lying to everyone, but I don't know what else to do. I'm afraid to talk to anyone I know about it because they might over-react. I called the National Runaway Switchboard hotline, and after a minute, I freaked out and hung up the phone. My mother won't bother to make a conference call either.
I'm really sick of living with her, feeling like this, and hurting myself. She says she's only saying those things because she loves me, and I have a hard time believing that. And I'm really tired of having such a low self-esteem; I'm tired of running away from mirrors.
I wish I could tell her to stop.
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