broken heart

[Guest]

my boyfriend dumped me 4 days ago. he was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. i love him so much. he was the only person who told me everything was going to be alright that i actually believed. now, he's gone. we went a month and a half without seeing or really talking to each other and he said that he didn't have the same "strong feelings" for me that he did before. he said he wanted to go back to being friends and maybe get back together later on. that was my last bit of hope, the fact that he would consider getting back together later on. well, a day after we broke up, he got himself a new girlfriend. now i feel like my last bit of hope has been shattered. i don't know what to do. i just want him back. i know that what we had was special, and feelings like that just don't go away. i can't stop crying or thinking about him. do you think, even though he has a new girlfriend, that we may get back together sometime soon? i can't take this. i seriously just want to sleep until i die. i had planned on killing myself after school got out, but he asked me out before then. he was my reason to live. he was the one that made me feel so alive. for the first time in a long time i was truly happy. now, all of that is gone, and i'm spiraling downwards again.

[ccsmod5]

Re: broken heart

Hello,

Thanks for posting the details of your intense situation. You seem to be very upset about his whole thing. Sounds like it might even be confusing. The way you talk about him does make it seem like he meant a lot to you and you were both close. Have you had a chance to talk to him after your official breakup? Have you had a chance to vent to any friends or family members that can be there for you emotionally?

Sounds like you have a ton of questions and it's hard for anyone to say how things will turn out. Breakups are very difficult to deal with especially when people aren't able/willing to talk about feelings and frustrations about the relationship. What do you think can happen? Seems like the break up and knowing he is with someone else is tough on you but, what are you willing to do to make things work out for yourself?

I'm not saying that the situation/relationship was/is manipulative but if you feel like at any point he is doing certain things to make you feel a certian way, there is a hotline that you can call and talk about some of the stuff that is going on. They are anonymous and confidential and could possibly offer some ideas on what you can do. It is the:

National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline
1.866.331.9474

From the way you are describing things and writing about them, it seems like you have the strength and courage to deal with this until you find something that will make you feel better. But if you are still having feelings of suicide, please call us or the suicide hotline whenver you can. We are also here to talk about what you are feeling.

National Runaway Switchboard (us)
1.800.RUNAWAY

National Suicide Hotline
1.800.273.TALK

If you want to ask more questions or give more details, contact us any way you can. Best of luck and we hope to hear from you soon.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: broken heart

we have talked some after the break up, but every time i try to get through to him how much i'm hurt, he accuses me of hurting him by saying those things. he says that he still cares about me and doesn't want to see me hurting. i feel like i don't really have any friends that i can turn to. they all have their own problems, and i don't want to bug them with mine. that's why i came here, because i had nowhere else to turn. i feel like by hoping we may get back together that i'm giving myself a false sense of hope, which may not be true, i don't know. but i do know that i'm willing to do anything to get him back, because he means that much to me.

also, what would happen if i were to call one of those hotlines? would someone just answer the phone and i just start talking to them? or would they just ask me questions and i answer them? i'm curious because i'm an extremely shy person and i don't know if i would be able to just talk to somebody like that.

[ccsmod8]

Re: broken heart

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us in this time of need in hopes that you can utilize some of the resources we are offering to help you figure out your situation. If you were to call the National Suicide hotline it would be like calling us. We recieve calls in terms of liner availability and calls come in order. If you called anytime of day you have a good chance of getting a real person on the phone depending on how long you were willing to wait to speak to someone. For us, it is usually asking some key component questions to establish rapport and facts with our callers so that we would best be able to help them. However, the conversations usually flow and we are trained to go at your pace and to take the conversation in whatever direction you want it to go. We are non-judgemental and confidential and it usually is the same for most hotlines. You are welcomed to call us 24 hours a day and all of our liners are trained similarly to handle your call.

In terms of dealing and figuring out new coping mechanisms for yourself; it is possible that you are only going to get more frustrated and down if you do not surround yourself with people that cares a lot for you. You noted that you do not want to burden your friends and we imagine that is probably stressful for everyone. You also mentioned that it is very hard to reach out to him to explain how you are presently feeling but he feels burden with these talks. What do you think about the fact that in the meantime, if it is probably best to construct a plan in your head for how you are going to handle the pressures of not talking to him for some time and what to do if you had the urge to call. As hard as it may seem to not call, sometimes it is hardest to overcome the pain of not being together if you were to allow time to heal. Calling back and forth is like throwing salt on old wounds but only you are capable of knowing for sure how long you can go without speaking to him. We are not here to say what you should do ultimately but just as a guide. These are just some things to think about as you are preparing to reach out to someone for help and we are here to give you professional referrals if you wanted to seek out that help. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Good luck.

-NRS