Thinking of running away.

[Guest]

When hearing most situations about teens running away from home for love, I think of it as ludicrous. Most kids my age believe it's possible to fall in love within two weeks of knowing each other, and that they'd do everything for their other. The idea of teens falling in love completely blows my mind 90% of the time because of how fast everything is.
Well, I am a 16 year old female, who just so happens to have found herself in the predicament of falling in love with another girl who lives in Texas. We are states away, and even a few years apart. This isn't just some little fling; I've been in a relationship with her for 2 and a half years. Because of the long distance, I've only been able to see her a handful of times in between breaks from school. Recently, she and I were supposed meet once again, but my mother has denied us this meeting.
I haven't been able to see her for about five months, and it's been killing me and her. My mom completely disapproves of my sexuality, even when I try to explain to her it feels natural to me. Me being attracted to another girl feels normal to me, just like a teenage boy being attracted to another teenage girl. Ever since I remember, I've been looking at women the same way I look at men. I don't believe love should be restricted to your opposite sex.
Because of this, I've really, truly been thinking of running away. Not just because I want to be with some girl, but because my mother cannot accept me. When she told me that my girlfriend couldn't come visit me, she said, "If she offers to pay for your plane ticket to her house and you leave, do not come back."
This has been the second time within the passed.. 6 months she's mention me leaving and not coming back. If she is serious about me leaving and not coming back, then, well, I'll take the risk. I know I'm not an adult, therefore I shouldn't have adult freedoms.


I was just wanting to know, would anything happen to my girlfriend, who is 19, or her family for sheltering me until I'm 18?

[ccsmod8]

Re: Thinking of running away.

Hello,

Thank you for taking the time to contact us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sad to hear that your mother told you to "not come back" if you were to leave home. It must have been hard hearing this come from her. We are glad you contacted us for support. We are truly here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You are welcome to phone us anytime to speak to a live person at 1800RUNAWAY.

You seem to have a mature understanding for what you want and the woman you care deeply for. We appreciate your strength and your ability to stand up for what you believe in, despite the hardships that comes with it. We imagine that many children fear sharing such personal feelings with family members. However, it sounds like you were able to face the negative wave of comments and continue to take it all in stride. How are you coping with everything that is happening right now? It sounds like a daunting experience when you are not able to be your true self around those you wish would understand you better.

We are not legal expert at NRS. We can only speak for general laws that govern runaways in most states. It is considered a minor status offense to run away from home. If you are caught by the police, it is standard for them to return you home. However, it does not exclude an officer from handling the situation at their own discretion. It is not considered illegal to run away from home but every city and state differs in how they handle the situation, if and when you are found. If another adult or their family were found to be harboring you, they could face future charges “of contributing the delinquency of a minor” in some cases.

Do you have a plan for survival? Do you plan to stay in school? Do you think your mother will track you to her house? It is never guaranteed you will track back to her house but nothing is for certain. We cannot specify on whether the police will come knocking or enter the house without proof that you are indeed in their home. The potential is there for the police to act according to policy or they may not act at all.

We wish to hear from you if you see the benefits of calling. The bulletin is one option to open up about how you are feeling. It may be helpful to reach out in person if you are able to call. We see how much this issue is affecting you and gather from what you wrote taking the opportunity to vent in person may even lead to exploration of alternative ways to tackle this issue. We are confidential and anonymous. We hope you stay strong. Good luck.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Thinking of running away.

This is really the only place I can turn to for support, besides from my girlfriend and her family. My friends would all be completely against the idea of me running away from home.

My mom always taught me to stand up for what I believe in and for what I feel is right. Ironically enough, I never thought I'd have to stand up to her about it. It was really hard even just telling me my mom I had feelings for another girl. My mom thought I would get over it and that I was just experimenting like other girls my age might. She never thought I'd turn out to be bisexual. It's really hard to deal with my mom and the distance between me and the woman love. It's so hard, I find it difficult to even focus on anything. I can barely even get any sleep at night.

Thank you for trying to give me at least some understanding of what could happen. If I was caught and taken home, would I get sent off? Would my girlfriend go to jail for, not only being older, but for sheltering me too? Would she get fined?

To be honest, she was going to buy me a bus ticket. It doesn't seem too smart because I'd need identification to pick up the ticket and everything and I'm sure my mom could call and ask about whether or not I got on a bus and to where it was going. My girlfriend's mother was actually talking to me about enrolling me in school once I got there, or at least waiting until the next semester. I have no idea if my mom would track me back to her house. If I was to run away, my mom would probably check around town, and if I wasn't here, she'd probably suspect I ran away to Texas right off the bat. I had no idea that police will act certain ways depending on who comes knocking on your door.

I want to call, but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. I'm never really alone in the house and I wouldn't want someone to walk in in the middle of the conversation. And wouldn't it show up on the cellphone bill? We don't have a house phone anymore; it's messed up and we never fixed it.

[ccsmod0]

Re: Thinking of running away.

Hello,

Thanks again for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Switchboard. I hope you are doing ok. Again, feel free to call anytime day or night at 1-800-RUNAWAY; someone will always be here to help.
We understand that you are worried about making the call from your cell phone and that you no longer have a landline available to you. Because this is an 800 number you can call from a payphone free of charge. Is there anywhere that you may be able to go outside of your house where you feel safe to do so? It is nice to hear that you do have the support of your girlfriend and her mom and we are sorry to hear that your friend’s are not there for you. Again, we cannot tell you exactly what the consequences would be to you or your girlfriend if the situation arises, but if you can somehow get in-touch with us here on the phone we can provide you with resources in your area to help you answer your questions the best we can.
It seems like you’re in a pretty tough spot right now and we hope you are doing ok. How are you coping with all of this? We can also help you find other sources of support if you can contact us here. Good luck with everything, and again we are here 24/7 for you and we look forward to hearing from you. Stay well.

-NRS