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sneaking out for sex. am i pregnant? is he using me?

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  • sneaking out for sex. am i pregnant? is he using me?

    this is a long one but i really need advice. i met a boy at school and he took a liking to me really fast. we started texting and quickly started hanging out. i told my mom and my grandma and was very honest with them. i’m 15 and he’s 16. he’s not the best kid, he smokes weed, lies, has sex, and i hadn’t done anything at all. the first day we hung out my mom really liked him and i went to his house and we hung out and ate pizza but then he started pressing me to steal some of my moms weed bc he couldn’t get any at the time. i felt uncomfortable with it, let him take some, then got over it. that’s when i smoked for the first time. we went into the woods and smoked from a soda can. i instantly started liking him a lot, and i enjoyed doing something i knew i would get punished for. so then after that we start hanging out every day after school, smoking every time. but the 5th day of hanging out we got in some trouble. so we start smoking in the woods and we get so high. my face was numb and everything was funny. and eventually time goes by very very fast. that day his mom met my mom. his mom isn’t around much so it hadn’t happened yet, he lives with his grandma. everyone was happy and everything was going well. then suddenly while we’re smoking all we hear is his name being screamed. so we get up and take a walk of shame through the woods and his moms car is parked right at the entrance. we get in and she starts screaming at us for being out for so long then she sees he’s high and starts driving me to my house. she’s so mad. she’s speeding and screaming at us and cussing. and so she takes me to my house and makes us get out of the car. i explain everything to my mom, i do lie and tell her it’s my first time though. his mom starts screaming and yelling and telling us how much drugs ruined her life. she’s an alcoholic who does much more than just weed, she’s also not the nicest to her kids. so they left and my mom wasn’t mad, just more worried he was getting me high to do things with me. so then about a week later he comes to my house again. my mom has a long talk with him. she trusts him and was listening to him tell about his life. and we hung out there. his mom won’t even let me on their street anymore so his house is off limits. with his house being our only privacy before getting caught he tells me i should sneak out. he tells me he wants to date me. i was reluctant and didn’t do it. i knew it would lead to something. but the other night i found myself missing him and thinking about him and i came to the conclusion i wanted sex. i have never even kissed before. so i made a plan, got all ready. he drove his moms car and parked a little bit away from my house. i snuck out my window and got in the car and we had sex. i learned then that he’s a selfish guy when it comes to sex. he refused to use a condom because he said he can’t feel anything without one. in fact he didn’t even bring one. he pulled out. in the moment i didn’t care and i let him do it multiple times and i really enjoyed it. then i go back inside and he texts me and tells me he loves me. i wake up the next day, which was two days ago, absolutely panicked that i could be pregnant. i fell into this funk i couldn’t pull myself out of. i couldn’t eat or get up. i was terrified of what my life would become if i got pregnant at 15. i asked him to get me a plan b and he ignored me. ever since that night he has barely spoken to me. yesterday he told me he misses me and wants to see me. i couldn’t sneak out last night but tonight i can and i want to have sex with him again so bad. it’s all i think about. he said he’d bring a condom this time. but the big questions are, could i be pregnant, is he using me and does he actually love me, and will i eventually get caught sneaking out. the idea of being pregnant has been ruining me.

  • #2
    Hi there -

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline (NRS) and sharing some of what’s been going on. It sounds like you have a lot to navigate and are understandably anxious about possibly being pregnant. Please know that we’re here to support you however best we can during this difficult time.

    If there are trusted adults in your life that you feel you could talk to openly about what’s going on, that would be worth considering. You Mom sounds like she has been reasonable and supportive so far. So for starters, you might think about confiding in her. If you’re not comfortable with that, perhaps an older relative, friend’s parent, or school counselor might be a good option.

    You are 100% right to be thinking seriously about birth control and the possibility of pregnancy. That said, the boy involved should be concerned, too. The fact that he has been erratic on this extremely important topic suggests that you might want to consider talking with a trusted adult about the relationship. You deserve to be treated with consideration, kindness, and respect at all times. If that’s not happening, then reaching out for support while you sort through your feelings and decide what to do could be helpful.

    You are correct to think that it’s important to find out whether you are pregnant. If you miss your next period, you might consider purchasing a home pregnancy test or going to a local clinic for a blood test. If you are pregnant, proper health care will be important whatever you choose to do. One way to find useful women’s health/pregnancy resources is to contact Planned Parenthood (1-800-230-7526 or  https://www.plannedparenthood.org/).

    We here at NRS are also here to talk with you 24/7, either via phone (1-800-RUNAWAY) or chat (www.1800RUNAWAY.org, click on the “chat” button). We’re here to listen, help you think things through, and explore resource options in your local area that might be helpful. If that sounds useful, we hope to hear from you soon.

    Stay safe,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Sorry for bothering but I need some advice on a relationship that kind of went wrong. I was with this one boy and I really cared for him like so much and I really thought me and him were gonna be together for awhile. He didn’t end up staying with me for long like he said he would. The reason why he broke up with me was because he was just unsure and he always thought I was cheating on him like I couldn’t be friends with boys even if they were gay or trans he just felt like I wanted to be with my friends more then him and that wasn’t the case and he told me if I change then he will give me a second chance I really thought he was gonna give me a chance he told me to make a promise and that he would think about it. I did try so hard to change myself for him. I did anything I could to be with him again. I change my hair and I dropped most of my friends for him. I even changed the way I act but now I feel really lost because he told one of my old friends that told me that he said he didn’t want anything to do with me that he doesn’t want me in his life. Yeah I understand that part but if he really didn’t want to be with me I felt like he could have told me so instead of making me promise to him that I wouldn’t date anyone even if we are not together he just gave me false hopes and now I don’t know how to feel about it anymore I just feel really sad because I put so much time and effort in changing myself for him to love me again just for him to say he doesn’t care anymore. I feel really hurt and I don’t want to move on I still love him a lot

      Comment


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you so much for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It certainly seems that what you are experiencing a considerable amount uncertainty with the boy you like. On top of that, it appears this boy is not not be able to communicate directly with you which can often make ‘messages’ even more confusing. It’s really important for you be really proud of who YOU ARE and that you don’t need to change anything for someone else.

        It would be great if you with call us (1-800-786-2929) or reach out via chat at www.800runaway.org so perhaps we can talk a bit more. Here at NRS we have a database full of resources that may be of interest to you from Therapy Services close to where you are living as well as Health Programs to be sure you are well protected if you continue to be sexually active. Hopefully you will have the chance to reach out soon. In the meantime—be proud of who you are!

        Best,
        National Runaway Safeline.
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