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Please help I need to know if what I'm doing is right

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  • Please help I need to know if what I'm doing is right

    Hello, I'm 18 years old and I'm planning on moving out of my parents house...the thing is i have no where to go. Ever since i graduated highschool, i wasn't sure if i wanted to go to college. My parents advised me to go and they gave me time to think about what i was going to do. They told me that i could stay in their house rent free and offered to pay part of my college tuition with the condition that i had to go to college. I was supposed to enter this month but I've come to the conclusion that i want to enter the work force and work to get my individual space. Before this i had already talked to my parents about being unsure about going to college and looking for a job instead but later agreed to what they had offered... yesterday i had a job interview and talked to my mom about the my decision and she got upset...she started yelling at me about how i was a i was using them, trying to step over them, and how i wasn't a women of my word...she started mocking me and just being nasty... We both had an agreement that i would be the house keeper and the cook, i will admit that I'm not a very good cook and had up till this point taken some liberties when cleaning the house but pls believe me the house has never been not clean or proper...during her yelling she brought this up she told me i was a wanna be adult because i hadn't done anything with my life up until this point....during this i responded to one of her comments in a mean way...which upset her even more and she later through her phone at me.... Today she told me that while i live in her house i have to do what she says or i can leave with my biological dad....she is right that up untill this point i haven't done anything because these past few month I've been feeling down, unmotivated, and overwhelmed...but I'm been feeling better lately and i want to get my life together...i just thought my mom would have reacted differently....so far my stepdad doesn't know of what she's said to me or about my job interview....she gave an ultimatum until tomorrow to find a college...i told that i am going to college but not right now...and she made it clear that while i live here I'll have to do what she says...
    The reason why I've decided to move out is because i love my mother but her character can be...a bit much...and that aside....i don't really fell comfortable living here...my stepdad brother did something to me when i was younger....and i had to see him up until i was 16...during my teenage years and childhood...i had to see him and interact with him. nothing was really done to get him away or put him in jail expect my parents keeping an eye on him..my step dad still interacts with him...and i just can't help but feel anger and frustration towards my parents because....being here is just a constant reminder that he's still out there living his best life while I'm here stuck trying to heal the wounds that he created...these last month I've been reflecting on this, on my childhood, on my relationship with my parents...they think I'm being childish my not leaving the past behind and being closed off with them....i think it's better that i move out...that way I can take charge of my life and heal and they won't have to deal with me anymore...the reason why I don't want to move with my biological dad is because...i haven't interacted with him a lot...and when i do i realize he's become a stranger to me...he drinks often and when i see him drink...he's already has a wife and i don't want to bother him...

    I'm planning on going to a shelter and ask for resources and have a backpack with everything I need ..i plan on leaving tonight and leave a letter explaining to them why I left and that I'll be fine..i don't want to tell them i going because i know the wouldn't let me...but is what I'm doing right??? Am i in the wrong??if they contact the police....will i have to comeback with them if the police find me??
    ​​​

  • #2
    Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in.

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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