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  • Running Away to Another Country

    My girlfriend is 15 and I am 17 about to be 18. She lives in Canada and I live in the U.S. Recently we were discussing plans for when she turns 16 and what we can maybe do about being able to see each other more often. At that point she will be able to get a passport, have a job, save money, etc. and it crossed my mind that maybe she could run away to live in the U.S. with me. By that time I would have my own apartment and be in college so I could support the both of us and I know that if given the opportunity we would follow through without hesitation.

    However, I am concerned about a few things:
    1) If she fled to the states is there any way her parents could find us and send her back?
    2) Would their be any legal consequences for either of us?

  • #2
    Re: Running Away to Another Country

    Hi,

    Thanks for reaching out to us for information on this topic! It seems like you and your girlfriend are really serious about each other and your relationship, which is great. It is understandable that you would be concerned about the legal aspects of the possible situation that you and your girlfriend might be in and we are glad you are looking to get more information on possible consequences before making any set plans.
    It sounds like you and your girlfriend are contemplating her running away from her home in Canada in order to live with you in the United States. It seems like you have a plan set out in terms of how you would support her which is good to see. Unfortunately we are not legal experts and a majority of our knowledge dealing with the law is based around the United States, not Canada. In the United States you can possibility get into trouble for harboring a runaway if your girlfriend’s parents file a runaway report and begin looking for her. Do you and your girlfriend think her parents would do that? We cannot say for sure whether or not her parents will be able to find you both, but as mentioned earlier they could get the police involved if they wanted to.
    Again, we are glad that you reached out to us. If you need more information or want to talk to someone more directly about your situation, feel free to call us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY, our lines are opened 24/7 and one of our liners could work with you on more resources and routes you and your girlfriend could take.

    Best wishes,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Im a 15 year old girl. I wanna runaway from home to my fiance in a diffrent country. But we have a problem travel. Plane is tooken care of its the way to get me to the airport is the problem. We are very serious about our marriage and love for one another. Im not yet 16. So i cant get a passport is there anyway i can get to diffrent country without my parents knowing.

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hello,
        Thank you for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your fiancé really care about each other and are committed to being together. You mentioned that you already have a plan for the ticket but the issues is the fact that you cannot get across the border. While we do not know of any way to cross boarders without proper documentation. One thing that you can try is to get in contact with the U.S. Department of State and see what requirements that they have for international travel.
        Again thank you for taking the time to write to us. We hope this information helps you get what you want. If you need anything else please give us a call. 1-800-786-2929

    • #4
      Hey so I'm almost 15 and when I'm 17 or 18 I want to run away to a different country. Id prefer running away to the U.S. but concidering their new rules about immigration (bc of trump) I'm not sure if it's possible to cross borders easily. And do you think I can cross borders without being caught or traced down? I currently live in Japan by the way and the US is really far too. How much money do you think I'd need if you include the money I'd need for the plane ticket and for starting a new life at a different country?

      Comment


      • ccsmod1
        ccsmod1 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). We are not legal experts, so we aren't able to answer all your questions about international travel, however running away across international borders comes with risks, and the USA is not the only country that makes it difficult to immigrate. Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country. We wish you the best of luck.

    • #5
      So I'm 17. I have a boyfriend in Canada and I want to be able to live with him but I live in the United States and am nt yet 18. If I ran away and made it to Canada could I be returned home by police?

      Comment


      • ccsmod10
        ccsmod10 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,

        Thanks for reaching out to NRS! It sounds like you’re about to make a difficult decision in running away to Canada. Unfortunately, we are not legal experts, so we don’t know what would happen if you’d try to run to Canada to your boyfriend. You’d probably need a passport to cross the border. Some states allow 17 year olds to move out. We’d advice you to call into us, so we can call your local police station to ask about their laws. We can also try to come up with a safety plan in the event that you do decide to runaway. We’re open 24/7, so don’t hesitate to reach out to us at 1(800) RUNAWAY.

        Be safe, NRS

    • #6
      Hi
      I'd like to run away to a different country I'm 20 years old and I live a very very hard life I'm suicidel and always have crazy thoughts in my mind I need to live my life and move on because I know that I'm getting worse and and want to be able to live and see another day but stuck in this h**l hole can you please help me get to Asia I have a friend their and she is awesome and has a place for me and I know what kind of job I wanna do and she wants me to stay with her but I would never ask her to help me get there from here I need your help please help me get to Asia !!!
      Last edited by ccsmod3; 08-04-2017, 11:57 AM.

      Comment


      • #7
        Hi
        I'm 20 years old and I'm sick I'm dealing with depression and I'm starting to get crazy thoughts I want to get out of this country and live in Asia I met a friend online and she lives there and I want to live there too she said that I'm welcome to stay with her if I need a place to stay but I would never ask her to help me get there from here can you please help me I want to be able to live again and see the world with colors not just a h**l on earth please help me get to Asia
        Last edited by ccsmod3; 08-04-2017, 11:57 AM.

        Comment


        • ccsmod3
          ccsmod3 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello and thank you for reaching out and posting on our forum. We are sorry to hear you are sick and dealing with depression. You also mentioned you are suicidal and always have crazy thoughts in your mind. Please know we care about your safety and we’re here to listen and provide support without judgment. There is also http://youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ which is a safe space for youth to talk about mental health and wellness.

          As far as your plan, it sounds like you have a very supportive friend who has offered to let you stay with her in Asia and you are looking for help in getting there. We are not legal experts; however, the first step might be looking into what you would need to do to obtain a working visa in your friend’s country. We do not have a program to help youth travel to other counties; however, we would be happy to brainstorm possible options with you.

          We encourage you to try out our Live Chat when you are able if you’d like to keep talking about your situation online. Best of luck!

      • #8
        Uhm Hi! I' 14 years old..and i want to run away and go live in romania..i seriously can't stand my family and my boyfriend lives in romania he says i can stay at his place and he understands how i feel so i was wondering uhm since i live in the u.s do i need a visa? or something? like just to pass through i wanna run away and i dont want my parents to follow me or know anything

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out to NRS. It sounds like you're wanting to move out of the country. As a minor, you are not able to get on a plane without parents or a chaperone. You will also need a passport.

      • #9
        Hi I'm 20 years old and I just want to get away. I wanna runaway to Ireland and get out of my life that I feel I don't belong to anymore. I'm alone, my only
        friend hates me and hasn't really spoken to me in over a week. I just can't stand life here in the US anymore. I don't know if this is practical or how I'd even do it, I mean I have a loan on my car and everything. I just don't know how to get through this or what I should do

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and thinking about leaving the country to get away from things here. While we can’t tell you what to do or not do, we can share some things to consider.

          Leaving home and going to another country is a big decision. Some of the things to think about as you make your decision would be how you would get there, how you would support yourself when you get there, and how long you plan to stay. Many countries require visas for long stays, or for permission to work in that country, so those are a few things you could look up, through Google or another resource. Moving to a new place can be fun and adventurous, but it can also be lonely if you don’t know anyone or aren’t familiar with the place. If you’ve moved around before, perhaps it would be easier.

          It also sounds like something may have happened with your friend since you two aren’t speaking right now. That can be so difficult. If your friend doesn’t want to talk you right now, you could consider writing her a note or letter, or asking her to let you know when she may be ready to talk. If you want to talk about what happened, or talk more about moving away and options, we are here 24/7 and we’re to listen and to help however we can. We can also look up resources such as counseling in your area.

          We’re here 24/7 if you want to talk- 1-800-786-2929.

          NRS

      • #10
        Hello everyone!
        I'm 14 years old and I want to become a singer. You can say I live in a really abusive household. Like nobody gets along with me and my parents are against my dream so damn much! I've been trying to pursue them for the past 3 months but now I am done. I am planning to run away to South Korea and continue to pursue my dream with my other friends out there in Korea. But the only problem is that I don't have a passport or enough money. And I know passport is really imortant. I will be really greatful if you guys can tell me if it's really that important to have a passport and if it's okay for an unaccompanied minor to runaway to south korea.

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          First of all, we want to thank you for reaching out to us about your situation. It is brave of you to take that step, and we really appreciate it. The abuse you experience in your home is unacceptable. Nobody should be treated in that way.

          We are glad to hear you are exploring the options to better your situation. Unfortunately, moving to South Korea would come with many complications. You do need a passport for international travel, and it would be hard to stay there as a foreign minor. Money could also become an issue: you would need to purchase a ticket and supplies, and you would not be able to work there without a visa. It sounds like you are very committed to your goals, which is good. You might want to continue to pursue singing from home.

          In the mean time, there are things you can do to improve your situation. It seems like you are considering running away. While this decision would come with many challenges, it is a valid choice if you feel like your home life is unbearable. Maybe there is someone in your life who could take you in, like friends or family. Keep in mind that if you left home, your parents could file a runaway report against you (laws vary by state, but that would generally mean the police could take you home if they found you and your parents could press charges against anyone who let you stay with them). You can always reach our hotline to look for shelters and other resources in your area, or to just talk. We can help you come up with strategies to use if you do stay at home, like ways to handle your parents or counseling resources for yourself. Our number is 1-800-786-2929.

          Again, we are grateful you got in touch. It sounds like you are going through a lot right now. Our 24/7 hotline is available for you if you need further support or guidance. We're here to listen, here to help.

      • #11
        Hi, me and my girlfriend have been wanting to run away for quite a while now, and well we’ve tried multiple times. The problem is I live in the US and she lives in Canada. I am 16, and she is 14, and I don’t have a passport but she does. She has tried crossing over but I don’t think she can by herself, being only 14 years old. I read that the CSBA does not require a passport for US citizens to get across, but the last time I tried to cross I was denied access. I’m not really sure where to go from here, the options seem very limited. Any help would be appreciated, thanks.

        Comment


        • ccsmod8
          ccsmod8 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello there –

          Thank you for taking the time out of your day to get into contact with us here at the National Runaway Safeline on our public forum, we are always here to listen and here to help in any way that we can. Hopefully by supporting you there are other that are reading through this thread that can relate can feel helped as well. We aren’t a hotline that will provide a guideline or survival packet to youth that are going to run away or have already run away from home and we aren’t here to tell you what to do because you know your situation a lot better than we do. We just want you to know your options and with whatever you choose that you’re safe and not on the streets.

          Unfortunately we don’t have any information about youth wanting to cross boards or even come into the United States from a different country. If your girlfriend is struggling with issues at home there might be a Canadian youth help line that she can reach out to for support to deal with her own problems at home. There is “Kids Help Phone” (1.800.668.6868 / https://kidshelpphone.ca/) that might be able to help her.

          Best of luck!

      • #12
        I am 11 about to be 12 and i live in Switzerland. I really want to go back to USA to where my sisters are. I have been living here for 3 years and we were supposed to move back a year ago and I still live here. I plan on going to boarding school for high school but thats 2 years more living in this awful place. (its not that bad but I hate living here my parents know this) We still have a house there and a person who comes once every couple days and could help me get around but i can't fly there without my parents knowing. What can I do?

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there,

          It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help.
          The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
          We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      • #13
        It doesn't look like anyone has visited this thread in two years but I'm currently 20 and I'm surprised at how many people feel the same way. I think I'm about to fail school and its the cherry on top of the worst year of my life after being sexually assaulted and trying to feel whole again while combating PTSD and victim blaming from my family. I'm very creative and resourceful, so I personally see this failure as just a new platform on which to succeed and build from the ground up, but I fear that the conversation I will have to have with my parents will be crippling, considering I feel so small when they yell at me, even now. I'm trying to do things for myself and not for them, and I know my future will be full of hard work but it really just seems easier to go to a different country and avoid. I already feel so alone and I know some people here feel alone too. I wish people didn't feel isolated. It's really hard to endure hardships alone. That's why I'm writing this. I should be studying honestly but I needed to yell into the void just for the off chance someone can hear me.

        Comment


        • ccsmod10
          ccsmod10 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hey there,

          Thanks for sharing your narrative – it sounds like you’ve been and still are going through an incredibly difficult time. We believe you and believe that whatever happened wasn’t your fault. No one deserves to be treated that way. We’re sorry to hear your family hasn’t been there to support you after this traumatic experience. It sounds like you’re a very strong person and have been doing your best to cope. If you think it might help you feel less threatened - NRS offers a conference call between family members and youth to help moderate the discussion and help provide a safer space for difficult conversations to take place. Please feel free to reach out to us if you have any questions about that or anything else – we’re here 24/7 toll free and confidential at 1-800-786-2929. You could also try contacting the RAINN hotline at 1-800-656-4673. You’re not alone but the world can definitely be a very isolating place especially if you feel like your support system is failing you. We hope to hear from you soon!

          Best,
          NRS

      • #14
        Hi, I need advice. Please help. My girl friend was compelled to marry a guy against her will 2 years back. She lives in Boston and her husband in Maryland. I live in Nepal. They never lived together except for 1st month of marriage. After returning back to state after marriage, they live in their own state as before marriage. We had to break our relation because her mother warned her she will not be welcomed in her family through out her life and will have break tie will her family if she chose to come with me. Her mother is also a heart patient, and she had to be sent on emergencyfew times because of argument about marriage.So, this also factored in compelling my girlfriend to get married against her will. Since last 7 months we are in touch again and we still love each other more than ever. My girl friend is very upset of what life has turned into. Everytime she talks with her husband, there's nothing but a argument. She tried as much as she could to start new life with her husband but life has become nothing but miserable to live. Now, she has filed for a divorce but her husband has appealed to the court and doesn't want to give her a divorce. Is there a way for her to get divorce from her husband even if her husband is not willing? Is there any way me and my girl friend can ever live together. We are willing to go to some other countries and start our own life together. Please suggest if any one has any idea. Thanks.

        Comment


        • ccsmod7
          ccsmod7 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hi there, sounds like you are in a really tricky situation unable to see your girlfriend. We are not legal experts or experts in divorce at all, but we can speak generally. There are typically legal avenues your girlfriend can take to leave her husband even if he refuses to sign the divorce papers. Generally, she would need to legal assistance to help with that process. If she calls or chats us here in the U.S. we can look for legal aid resources in her area.

          Unfortunately, our knowledge base and services are limited to runaway laws in the United States. If you are ever in the U.S. and need assistance, please do not hesitate to call or chat us. In Nepal here are your local child hotlines who might be able to better help: http://www.cwin.org.np/index.php/pro...-helpline.html.

          Best,

          NRS

      • #15
        Hi, I’m in need of some advice/help.

        I’m turning 18 towards the end of the year, and my family is preparing to send me off to a local college for several years. However, I wish to move to Sweden post-high school to live with my long distance girlfriend of many years (I live in the USA). Her family is extremely supportive of this and wish for me to move in as soon as possible- however, my parents are completely unaware of our relationship. They keep me on a very tight leash and have been emotionally/verbally abusive my entire life, and they have views very conflicting with mine (i.e. I am a closeted LGBT+ person, and they are very anti-gay/trans), which pays a major toll on my depression and other mental health issues. I want to get out of my house.
        The biggest obstacle for me to get to my girlfriend in Sweden is my parents. I wish to study while I live with her in Sweden because of the drastically lower price of college (it is nearly FREE there) so I won’t be in debt for years under American college tuition. However, even when I’m 18 and able to legally move out, my parents will not allow it. They are set on sending me to a local college and keep me at home- and the scary tuition debt will be looming over MY head. I have been unable to convince them to let me take a gap year before college that would buy me time to escape to my girlfriend. Now, I’m running out of time. I’m soon to be a senior in high school, meaning college payments are due very soon, and even if I had the guts to tell my parents when I’m 18, “No, I’m moving out of country NOW,” I know they would manipulate me by using the already-paid-for college payments as some sort of blackmail to keep home.

        I have no money and no way to escape to my girlfriend in a far away country from my abusive and manipulative household. Please help.

        Comment

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