Im 19 and my parents wont let me move out

[ccsmod10]

We're thankful you reached out to us about this. It sounds like living where you are has been making you unhappy, and the people you're living with have been hyper controlling. You deserve to be somewhere that you feel free and happy.

The specifics of laws can depend on your state. One thing you can do is Google your state + "age of majority." This will tell you the legal age at which you are allowed to live on your own and make your own decisions about housing, school, work, etc. In most states it is 18.

If you already meet your states age of majority, your parents/guardians cannot legally stop you from moving out (except for special cases, like where a person with a disability's guardianship by their parents). If they were to call the cops, the cops most likely would tell them that they can't/won't intervene since you are over 18. If you were worried about your parents/guardians doing this, you could also call the local police at their non-emergency number (usually found by searching your town + police department non emergency number) to discuss it and let them know you are not missing / you are safe.

We are here to support you with whatever decision you make; let us know if we can be of more help. You can post again to this forum, text chat us at 1800runaway.org, or call us at 1-800-786-2929. We are on your side.

i’m 19 and i’m ready to move out and live with my girlfriend i’ve always been harbored and controlled and now i wanna let go, what can i do. everytime i try and move they threaten me with cops and trackers.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to get out of your parents’ place, but that you are needing some help with doing so. In most states, you are no longer considered a minor which means that you can legally leave without your parents stopping you. It seems you are also trying to reach out to people who could help which is great, so we hope one of them are able to come through for you. Otherwise, we can also assist with looking for shelters or Transitional Living Programs (TLPs) in your area. TLPs are like shelters, but more long term and with more resources for helping youth get started. If this is something you are interested in, or would just like to talk more about your situation, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I'm 19 and I have nothing to help me get out of my parents apartment. No bank account, I'd, licence all I have is my birth certificate. I just want out but I don't have a way to do that. No one in my family can help I've asked my sister and she turned her back on me. My boyfriend has talked to his mother that he's living with about me living there, the only issue is he's in a different state it's not super far away. I'm planning on asking a friend or two I'd they can help but I don't think they will be able to. I have some money hidden in my room it's 200 I don't think it's enough to do anything with. I just don't know what to do I'm pretty much ********ed. I want to get out sooner rather than later so I can help my little brother get out of he needs to.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like in a couple years you are planning on moving out and being with your boyfriend and that your mom and grandma are not on board with this plan. It can be hard when a family member disapproves of something that you feel is the best move for you. It also seems like they want you around more so to help with around the house. Since you have some time before you plan on moving out, it could be helpful to try and have this discussion with them again or even working through the reasons they are not wanting you to leave. Also, with you being over 18, you do not need their approval to leave which in a way is helpful, but understandable that you would want their support on this. If you would like to talk more with us about options or ways to talk with them again about this, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

I'm 20 years old in college with work from home job and I recently visited my long distance boyfriend in November 2022, when visiting him I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't mind moving in with him and living with him. I told my mom and grandma today that I wanted to move out by 2023 or 2024 which means I'll be 21 or 22 by then. But they totally disagree that I should and say that I'm betraying and turning my back on family and even though I gave them good reason for why I should be able to move our they're not hearing it and I feel lost because I just want my family to support me and my decisions and they're not trying to see where I'm coming from. They're only thinking about me staying home with them and helping around the house.

[ccsmod15]

Since you are 19 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone.
Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. Since you are 19 you are under no obligation to watch your 4 year old sibling that is your mom’s responsibility not yours. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

I’m 19 year old girl and I can’t sleep in the weekend in my bf house, we are together for almost 5years . Whenever I go visit him , my mom always calls me yelling where I’m at. But she let my sister do whatever she want and whenever she want (she is 1year older then me) she also have a bf and she is with him for 2months and my mom let her sleep there
I always help my mother
I always baby sit my younger sister everyday
because my mom goes to work
but she doesn’t ask my older sister to do anything even tho she still lives here . I don’t have freedom whenever I go somewhere she always yells at me and says some stuff like “ where are you doing and why” and “ you don’t need to go there “ “ you have to stay here “and she is always scared for me if I get pregnant, but isn’t scared for my sister to get pregnant ?? That’s weird
I never went to a party because of my mom she always thought I would go sleep after that party in my bf house.
my sister goes to party’s everyday
comes drunk home at 5/6 hours in morning and always throws up after that and my mom see that .
and then she always comperes me to her . That I’m worse then her
I tried to talk to her to have freedom . But everytime she yells and says “ why do you want that? Do you want te get pregnant or do you need a d**ck?”
I can’t work because I have to babysit on my Litte sister that is 4 years old. And my sister never babysat her
I don’t understand . Sometimes I just want to end things not to be dramatic but I’m tired.
And I can’t move out because I can’t have a job she always hits me if I talk about freedom or that she doesn’t let me do anything

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, we understand it can be a difficult step to take. We hope to help as best we can. It sounds like things are tense at home, and you mentioned abuse, this could be from parents/legal guardians or from a partner/roommate. Either way we want to help you with getting out of the situation as safely as possible. If you are unable to communicate with us over the phone, we do also have a live online chat, where we can help by finding shelters in the area and other resources. You have been so strong, and brave to reach out to us. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

I am 20 and I would get abused if I go to a new house help me

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting NRS,
We appreciate you contacting us and being brave to share your story. From what you have written it seems as though your mom is not letting you move out of the house yet even though you are 19. In some states the legal age of majority is 21 or 19. If you are in these states where the age is higher we suggest perhaps calling us here at NRS or your local non-emergency number. They would be able to assist you with any specific legal questions you might have. If you are not in any of the states where the legal age of majority is higher. A simple call to the police can help. You can let them know you'd like to be escorted out of the home and even try and file a restraining order against your mom if you feel like she might try to harm you later. As you are above the age of 18 most states consider you an adult at this time. The only time this is not the case is when you have a power of attorney or the court has granted someone to be your permanent guardian for whatever reason.
You are welcome to come to our chat through this website or call us at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) to discuss your plan for moving out.
Good luck, and we hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

I'm 19, I've told my parents I want to move out and my mom told me I'm not allowed to move out until she decides I'm ready. She said it's her decision if I leave or not because im not ready to take care of myself.

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear your mom is pressuring you like that and even getting other family members to threaten you. If the threats become serious you may want to talk to the local police to get assistance. Or if you are ever in immediate danger you can call 911. Again, we are very sorry to hear your mom isn't respecting your desire for independence at your age.

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses.

Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.   Feel free to call us anytime to discuss your options or just talk about what's going on at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat with us via our website: www.1800runaway.org.

All the best,
NRS

I’m 19 years old I’m turning 20 in 3 months and my mom won’t let me move out with my boyfriend of 4 years and she has gotten other family members to threaten me in order to stay but I just want to live my life with the person I love and she’s preventing me from doing it because she thinks he’s pressuring me into leaving but he isn’t. I just want to start a life with the person I love and she’s preventing me

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a bit about what's going on. We are sorry to hear your mom is mistreating you like that. You certainly don't deserve to be talked down to or made to feel inferior. That must be very frustrating. Fortunately, at least it does sound like there are some good things going on in your life right now.

The best way we can help is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via www.1800runaway.org. We can discuss your options, including how you might be able to communicate how you feel to your mom. We also have a large database of resources; for example: counseling if you would like ongoing support. You don't have to face this alone and the more help you can get the better. We hope to hear from you soon.

All the best,
NRS