Im 19 and my parents wont let me move out

[Unregistered]

I'm the baby of six kids, I turned 19 in February of this year. My parents are pretty strict when it comes to me. I've been in a relationship for about a year now and well things have happened where he's going to be moving two cities over. He wants me to go and I want to go with him. I work and I take care of myself. I have a way to get to work and everything from there. The only problem is my parents. When I tried asking my mom about it she said "your ass is staying here so don't think you're going anywhere". I don't know what to do. I want to move out and get my life started but if I do my mom and dad will disown me and I love them so much that don't want them to. Please help me.

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Im 19 and my parents wont let me move out

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are having a dilemma over moving out of your parent’s home and in with your boyfriend because of your parents possibly cutting off contact with you.
As you stated you are 19yrs of age self-supporting with the right to make your own decisions.
However we understand that having your parents in your life is pretty important to you.
That’s honorable of you.

We would like to hear more about your situation and how you were hoping NRS might help. Consider giving us a call at 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) or visit www.1800Runaway.org (Live chat).

Another option might be to consider having a sit down with your parents along with your boyfriend (your option) and communicate your plan to them.
Hopefully you can have a constructive conversation with positive results.

We wish you the best.

Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 19 now but I feel like I can't do anything without being ********** our at and can't go do anything wirhouw someone knowing. I met guy I resrea loved but he wants me to move in with him but my mom and grandpa and twin sister wont let me I don't know what to do I don't wanna sit here forever not do anything

[ccsmod9]

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. Some things to think about before moving are perhaps evaluating if the guy you want to move out with is someone you can trust. Often times people just want to lure us into coming with them for their own reasons. Making sure you have a backup plan if things go wrong is always good as well. Perhaps having a friend you can reach out might help. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

I’m 19 years old I work and go to school so that means I’m barely at my mothers house , I’ve been saving up some money so I can get my own place . I’ve been approved for an apartment but....my mom isn’t letting me move out of her place and it’s really frustrating because we both know that I can take care of myself but she isn’t letting me leave. Should I leave without telling her or should I get some legal help ?

[ccsmod0]

Hey there,

We're sorry you're struggling with your mom letting you out of the house. Legally, you are allowed to move out of your parents' home if you are of legal adult age, which is usually 18. Since you are 19, you legally are allowed to leave whether or not your mom supports your decision. If you are in fear for your safety or your mom is physically not allowing you to leave, you can call the nonemergency police number in your area and ask for their assistance.

Best of luck,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 19 and my parents wont let me move in with my boyfriend. I told the this morning as we were leaving that I am going to live with th boyfriend until school statts back up. They took my keys from me and my mom drove me home saying that I am not allowed to move out. I have no clue where my car keys are now to even try and escape during the night. They have been helping me with college but most all my college is student loans, I am aware that they are paying for my phone and insurance but my bf and I have already figured that and are already looking for insurance for me. I was planning on sneaking during work but with all that is goong on they are now working from home. I dont want to be here I feel like I'm stuck

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to us here at The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now.
Feeling stuck and wanting that independence can be super frustrating. We are not legal experts but in most states the legal age to leave home is 18 years old. To find out what age you can legally leave you can call your local police department and ask. If the car is under your parents name, if you were to leave you may have to leave the car otherwise they can report it as stolen. One option to consider is trying to talk with your parents and find out the reasoning of them not wanting you to leave.
If you would like to explore more options or if you have more questions please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support to you. Best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 19 and my parents won’t let me move out with someone I love. They think he is not the right one for me but I know he is and I’m turning 20 in 2 months. I don’t want to be here I want to leave.

[ccsmod15]

Hello,
Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. Since you are legally an adult and over the age of 18, you can leave at any time. We are sorry to hear your parents are not supporting your decision. If your parents will not support you financially or emotionally during this time, it might be a good idea to plan ahead and make sure you are ready to live independently with the person you love. Best of luck and feel free to call us at any point in time at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

[Guest]

I am 18 years old im in oklahoma and ill be 19 soon my adopted mom is telling me i cannot move out until I graduate well I finish school in May but because of covid-19 my graduation isnt until August my brother and his wife and 2 girls are gonna let me stay with them while in college but my adopted mom said I cant leave till after graduation but since I'm 18 cant I leave now without her doing anything

[ccsmod6]

Hello and thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. While we are not legal experts, we do have a great deal of experience working with runaways. It is our understanding that if you are 18 in OK, then you are considered a legal adult and have the right to live where you choose regardless of whether or not you have graduated. If you would like to talk in greater detail about what is going on and what options you have, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929 or chat us at 1800runaway.org.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 19 have everything going good for me I’m financially stable payed for everything that I have now like a car and apartment I also have a job but the thing is I can’t move forward happily if my mom is in the way she talks down on me and makes me feel like I’m still under her roof and rules she’s never been happy for me I even had the chance to buy her a car and help her out with other things but she still calls me a ******** up and won’t give me space to be free idk what to do

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us and sharing a bit about what's going on. We are sorry to hear your mom is mistreating you like that. You certainly don't deserve to be talked down to or made to feel inferior. That must be very frustrating. Fortunately, at least it does sound like there are some good things going on in your life right now.

The best way we can help is if you give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat with us via www.1800runaway.org. We can discuss your options, including how you might be able to communicate how you feel to your mom. We also have a large database of resources; for example: counseling if you would like ongoing support. You don't have to face this alone and the more help you can get the better. We hope to hear from you soon.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 19 years old I’m turning 20 in 3 months and my mom won’t let me move out with my boyfriend of 4 years and she has gotten other family members to threaten me in order to stay but I just want to live my life with the person I love and she’s preventing me from doing it because she thinks he’s pressuring me into leaving but he isn’t. I just want to start a life with the person I love and she’s preventing me

[ccsmod15]

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out to us. We are sorry to hear your mom is pressuring you like that and even getting other family members to threaten you. If the threats become serious you may want to talk to the local police to get assistance. Or if you are ever in immediate danger you can call 911. Again, we are very sorry to hear your mom isn't respecting your desire for independence at your age.

Since you are 18 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live.  We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone. Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses.

Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.   Feel free to call us anytime to discuss your options or just talk about what's going on at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat with us via our website: www.1800runaway.org.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 19, I've told my parents I want to move out and my mom told me I'm not allowed to move out until she decides I'm ready. She said it's her decision if I leave or not because im not ready to take care of myself.

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for contacting NRS,
We appreciate you contacting us and being brave to share your story. From what you have written it seems as though your mom is not letting you move out of the house yet even though you are 19. In some states the legal age of majority is 21 or 19. If you are in these states where the age is higher we suggest perhaps calling us here at NRS or your local non-emergency number. They would be able to assist you with any specific legal questions you might have. If you are not in any of the states where the legal age of majority is higher. A simple call to the police can help. You can let them know you'd like to be escorted out of the home and even try and file a restraining order against your mom if you feel like she might try to harm you later. As you are above the age of 18 most states consider you an adult at this time. The only time this is not the case is when you have a power of attorney or the court has granted someone to be your permanent guardian for whatever reason.
You are welcome to come to our chat through this website or call us at 1-800-786-2929 (1-800-RUNAWAY) to discuss your plan for moving out.
Good luck, and we hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
NRS

[Guest]

I am 20 and I would get abused if I go to a new house help me

[ccsmod5]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out, we understand it can be a difficult step to take. We hope to help as best we can. It sounds like things are tense at home, and you mentioned abuse, this could be from parents/legal guardians or from a partner/roommate. Either way we want to help you with getting out of the situation as safely as possible. If you are unable to communicate with us over the phone, we do also have a live online chat, where we can help by finding shelters in the area and other resources. You have been so strong, and brave to reach out to us. If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I’m 19 year old girl and I can’t sleep in the weekend in my bf house, we are together for almost 5years . Whenever I go visit him , my mom always calls me yelling where I’m at. But she let my sister do whatever she want and whenever she want (she is 1year older then me) she also have a bf and she is with him for 2months and my mom let her sleep there
I always help my mother
I always baby sit my younger sister everyday
because my mom goes to work
but she doesn’t ask my older sister to do anything even tho she still lives here . I don’t have freedom whenever I go somewhere she always yells at me and says some stuff like “ where are you doing and why” and “ you don’t need to go there “ “ you have to stay here “and she is always scared for me if I get pregnant, but isn’t scared for my sister to get pregnant ?? That’s weird
I never went to a party because of my mom she always thought I would go sleep after that party in my bf house.
my sister goes to party’s everyday
comes drunk home at 5/6 hours in morning and always throws up after that and my mom see that .
and then she always comperes me to her . That I’m worse then her
I tried to talk to her to have freedom . But everytime she yells and says “ why do you want that? Do you want te get pregnant or do you need a d**ck?”
I can’t work because I have to babysit on my Litte sister that is 4 years old. And my sister never babysat her
I don’t understand . Sometimes I just want to end things not to be dramatic but I’m tired.
And I can’t move out because I can’t have a job she always hits me if I talk about freedom or that she doesn’t let me do anything

[ccsmod15]

Since you are 19 you are more than likely considered a legal adult which means that you can move out if you want to and you won’t be considered a runaway. As a legal adult, you have a right to make your own decisions about where you live. We can help you make a plan for how to deal with your situation and help you find resources to land on your feet. Having a plan for where you will live and how you will survive once you move out can be very helpful. Moving can be a huge step, and you don’t have to be alone.
Some steps you can take towards independence might be to find employment if you don’t have an income, or to save up money for moving expenses. Since you are 19 you are under no obligation to watch your 4 year old sibling that is your mom’s responsibility not yours. It can also be helpful to research rents in your area, find a roommate, or make a budget. Another thing you might want to consider is what kinds of things you depend on your parents for currently such as tuition expenses for school, or health insurance, and whether they would continue to provide those things after you leave. There may be social service agencies in your area that can help meet some of these needs, such as Transitional Living Programs, a kind of shelter where young adults can live and get services to help them transition to independent living. We are here to listen and help however we can.

[Guest]

I'm 20 years old in college with work from home job and I recently visited my long distance boyfriend in November 2022, when visiting him I came to the conclusion that I wouldn't mind moving in with him and living with him. I told my mom and grandma today that I wanted to move out by 2023 or 2024 which means I'll be 21 or 22 by then. But they totally disagree that I should and say that I'm betraying and turning my back on family and even though I gave them good reason for why I should be able to move our they're not hearing it and I feel lost because I just want my family to support me and my decisions and they're not trying to see where I'm coming from. They're only thinking about me staying home with them and helping around the house.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like in a couple years you are planning on moving out and being with your boyfriend and that your mom and grandma are not on board with this plan. It can be hard when a family member disapproves of something that you feel is the best move for you. It also seems like they want you around more so to help with around the house. Since you have some time before you plan on moving out, it could be helpful to try and have this discussion with them again or even working through the reasons they are not wanting you to leave. Also, with you being over 18, you do not need their approval to leave which in a way is helpful, but understandable that you would want their support on this. If you would like to talk more with us about options or ways to talk with them again about this, please call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

I'm 19 and I have nothing to help me get out of my parents apartment. No bank account, I'd, licence all I have is my birth certificate. I just want out but I don't have a way to do that. No one in my family can help I've asked my sister and she turned her back on me. My boyfriend has talked to his mother that he's living with about me living there, the only issue is he's in a different state it's not super far away. I'm planning on asking a friend or two I'd they can help but I don't think they will be able to. I have some money hidden in my room it's 200 I don't think it's enough to do anything with. I just don't know what to do I'm pretty much ********ed. I want to get out sooner rather than later so I can help my little brother get out of he needs to.

[ccsmod3]

Hi there, thank you for reaching out. It sounds like you are wanting to get out of your parents’ place, but that you are needing some help with doing so. In most states, you are no longer considered a minor which means that you can legally leave without your parents stopping you. It seems you are also trying to reach out to people who could help which is great, so we hope one of them are able to come through for you. Otherwise, we can also assist with looking for shelters or Transitional Living Programs (TLPs) in your area. TLPs are like shelters, but more long term and with more resources for helping youth get started. If this is something you are interested in, or would just like to talk more about your situation, please either call our hotline 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat us online at 1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe,
NRS