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abusive family and a lover willing to give me a way out

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  • abusive family and a lover willing to give me a way out

    I'm 18, turning 19 in two months and my family has emotionally and physically abused me my entire life, and i have a lover willing to fly me out to live with him and help me get a job in his area as soon as i turn 19, the legal age in my state, can my family legally do anything to stop me?

  • #2
    Hi. We are so sorry that your family is putting you through this. It is great that you are reaching out for help.

    When you’ve reached the legal age of adulthood, then no, parents no longer have guardianship, and cannot stop you from doing what you want, or going where you want to go. It makes sense that you’d want to seek out a safe and supportive environment.

    Even with the plan you have now, consider thinking about your safety in that situation too. Since it might be possible that you do fly out to join your lover and things don’t work out, consider setting up a back up plan, other people you could reach out to who could support you, or even, other people who you trust who you could vent to if things get stressful.

    Ultimately, you know your situation best, and it’s up to you what you are most comfortable with. It can be difficult if you are in a new place, and only have one person to rely on. So think if you’d have other sources of support if you went, and consider how well you know this person, and if anything could change when you got out there. And think if it’d be helpful to set some ground rules for both of your benefit, before you leave.

    Also, be aware that you may have other options to pursue in your area. If you’d like help and support getting set up as an adult on your own, there might be transitional housing in your area. This is housing to help you get set up on your own. We have a database of resources like that, and you could call us, and we could try to find some for you.

    Also, if your family is abusive, filing a report with CPS is also an option. You could call Child Help to explore that: 1-800-422-4453. They are mandated reporters, which means if you mention an abusive situation, and give your name, they have to file a report. But, if you call anonymously, you can talk about your situation, and they can walk you through what would happen if you took next steps.

    We hope some of these ideas are helpful, and we appreciate you reaching out.
    Last edited by ccsmod7; 06-10-2019, 03:51 PM.
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