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crazymother/guardianship in California

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  • crazymother/guardianship in California

    ok long story short i have a mother who doesnt treat me right, a dad who doesnt have the balls to stand up,and a little brother who just follows everything my mom tells him to do. there is no big thing going on, i dont get beat, im not going hungry, or sleeping in the rain. but my mother is just passionate about ruining the things that make me happy. she has told me the family would be better off if i were dead, she calls me a drug addict kid, she says ill never amount to anything. she gave me a great car for my 16th birthday but im only aloud to drive it to school. she tries to fix me up with women but ive been with one for almost 2 years. she says the only reason why she ever let me be in a relationsip is because she thought we wouldve of broken up. im 16 and a half and have been with this girl for 2 years. she just turned 19 so yea i know there is a bit of an age difference there but we met in church so obviously we aint doin nothin illegal. my mother said if i ever see her again she will call the police on her saying were having sex and im scared for her, my girl doesnt deserve that, i dont want my girl going to jail or even be arrested for something stupid. besides she aint the kind of girl that would last in a jail or anything like that. ok im not emo but when im home i feel suicidal, my older brother ran away when he was my age, but he did everything wrong, when he left he got into drugs, of course like any teenager ive tried some crapped, ive drank a few times, ive smoked cigarettes, and even once i smoked marijuana but only to try it, i would never wanna get into drugs and become what my brother is but its becoming like more and more of a struggling idea. this is all because of my mother. when im out of my house i feel perfect, i have no thoughts of depression or thoughts of doing anything illegal........my girlfriends family wants to get guardianship over me, i know my parents would be opposed to it, and also i wouldnt live with my girlfriend. i would actually live with her aunt so its not like were just trying to do this so i could make babies lol but would it be hard considering my age for them to get guardianship?

  • #2
    Re: crazymother/guardianship in California

    Thanks for writing on our bulletin boards. It sure sounds like you’ve been really frustrated with your mom. We can respect that while your situation may not be as desolate as others, there’s still a pretty intense conflict between you and your mother. This has to be making living at home hard for you. You mentioned that she’s said some hurtful things to you in the past. We’re sorry to hear this. Home really should be a place where you feel safe and comfortable. Why do you think your mom acts the way she does? Do you think any of it has to do with the experiences your older brother had?

    Is there ever a time that you and your mother get along? If so, what are these times like? Are you able to ever talk to her about how you’re feeling? You also mentioned your dad and a younger brother. How do you get along with them? You wrote that your dad “doesn’t have the balls to stand up”; we’re assuming this means against your mother. Have you ever been able to talk to him about how you’re feeling?

    It’s great that you’re able to be honest about everything. You wrote about how you’ve “tried some crap”, but that at the same time you don’t want to end up like your brother. It seems like you have a good grasp on what you want to see happen and the reality of the situation that you’re currently in. One thing that you wrote, that stuck out to us, is that sometimes when you’re at home you feel suicidal. Have you ever attempted to end your life? How often do you think about this? Obviously, suicide is a very serious thing to consider because it’s permanent. If you are ever truly feeling like you want to end your life, know that there is help out there for you. There’s a National Suicide Hotline, 1-800-273-TALK, that’s available 24/7.

    You asked about your girlfriend’s family and whether they’d be able to get guardianship over you. While we aren’t legal expects and can’t give specific legal advice, we do know generally how the law works. When it comes to guardianship, the only ways (that we know of) for your girlfriend’s family to get guardianship would be for your parents to either sign over their rights or your parent’s rights to get terminated. When it comes to terminating parental rights, this happens rarely and would probably have to go through Child Protective Services. Basically, it would have to be proven in court that your parents are unfit parents. This is generally reserved for situations where there is severe abuse or neglect.

    Do you think your parents would ever give temporary custody over to anyone else? Maybe not your girlfriend’s family, but one of your family members? Obviously if they were willing to do this, then you’d be able to move out of their house and in the house of whoever they gave the custody to. Another option to not live at your parent’s house would be emancipation. This is the legal process in which you attempt to gain the rights of an adult, meaning you’d become your own guardian before you turn 18. The information that we have concerning emancipation in CA is that in order for a judge to declare a minor emancipated “the minor must be at least fourteen years old, must be living apart from parents with their consent or acquiescence and must be managing finances and have a legal source of income. The judge must find that emancipation is in best interest and the judge will want to see that the minor is in school or has a GED.” In order to get the specifics about emancipation in your area, you’d want to contact your local county courthouse. They are generally who the process goes through. If you want to get more specific legal information, there’s a hotline in CA called Legal Services for Children. Their toll free number is 1-888-292-4252. They might be able to better assist you in what legal options you have.

    Do you think either of the above are options for you? If not, have you thought about ways that you’d be able to deal with staying at your parent’s house? You’ve been able to make it this far! We hope you’re able to find an option that works for you. You’re welcome to call us anytime if you want to talk more in depth about any of this. Our hotline is always available, day or night.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: crazymother/guardianship in California

      u should take the guardianship because this is a free country so take it
      i have mom just like that

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: crazymother/guardianship in California

        Hello,

        Thank for your response to the National Runaway Switchboard. We appreciate you expressing your feelings on the matter at hand. We are here for you also if you are seeking help or someone to talk to about the situation at home with your mom. Unfortunately, our understanding of the custodial rights process is that it can be a bit more complicated than simply taking it. Usually, it involves the court process and can take time with filing a petition through court, gaining a court date that works for everyone, and may involve lawyer fees. Therefore, if you are looking for clarification on these issues, please consider calling us at 1800RUNAWAY 24 hours a day for further assistance. Good luck and we look forward to hearing from you.

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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