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Gilfriend's Homophobic Parents

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  • Gilfriend's Homophobic Parents

    Hi! I have a girlfriend and she is gay, and I am as well. She is 16 and a junior in highschool, soon to be turning 17 in June. I'm 16 and a sophomore in highschool. We both live in Missouri. This past year has been very hectic for us. We started seeing each other around March of 2015 and in April my girlfriend's sister outted her to their homophobic mom. My girlfriend was banned from her electronics (computer, phone, ipod, etc) and was criticized by her mom relentlessly saying things like "how could you do this to me," etc. We continued to see each other at school and contacted each other using an app. Over the summer she said she was going to a party and instead came to my house. Her phone was tracked by her mom and her step-dad followed her to my house. Her mom then took her home and then she was banned from electronics, friends, car privileges, etc. She was not allowed to talk to me again. When school started we began to talk again and eventually we got to seeing each other more often. Her mom was totally unaware of us speaking, let alone seeing each other. This December, my girlfriend said she was going to a friends house, left her phone in her car at her friends house, and I picked her up. Her mom called her and when she did not pick up, went to my girlfriend's friend's house and waited in a driveway a few houses over. When I dropped my girlfriend off and left, her mom and step dad corned her and took her car and phone. When she got home, her mom trashed her room. Her mom called her insults like "slut" and purposely spilled things and forced her to clean them up. Her mom threatened to kick her out and out her to the entire family on Christmas. The mom said she wouldn't fill up my girlfriend's lunch account money and didn't let her eat with the family. Her mom gave her limited portions of food, saying she couldn't eat more than she was given. My girlfriend contacted me over break somehow, telling me that her mom was placing something in the wifi to track everything that everyone does on their wifi. Her mom has banned her completely from contacting me, speaking to me, or interacting with me totally. She will be watched at school (by her sisters or cousins most likely) all the time.
    This isn't fair and it's destroying our relationship completely. My girlfriend doesn't deserve this. I don't know how that can even be legal. I need to know what can be done in a situation like this. My girlfriend was almost kicked out of her home and had to stay with me. Although I believe that her staying with me would be best, I don't believe that's legal or that her parents would allow it. They are imprisoning their own child, my girlfriend, and I need to know what to do about it.

  • #2
    re: Girlfriends Homophobic Parents

    Hey there,

    It sounds like your girlfriend is really going through a lot with her family. That must be difficult to deal with her family not being accepting of you and her being together. That sounds so tough on the both of you, and she is lucky to have a partner who cares for her like you do. She doesn't deserve to be treated the way she does by her parents. In saying that though, we aren't legal experts. So we can't tell you what to do in this situation. And there may not be a way to stop her parents from making those decisions. As her legal guardians, they usually do have a right to take whatever action that they see fit.

    As far as her staying with you, you are right about that part. She may not be able to stay with you without her parent's permission. It is possible that you or your family could get into trouble for letting her stay with you. It may be helpful to chat with the GLBT national hotline, maybe they can be a guiding resource for you. Their number is 1-888-843-4564. You can also contact Child Help USA, they are a good resource for shedding light on abuse and what you can do to stay safe. The number to contact them is 1-800-422-4453.

    We hope we were able to offer some things for you to consider. If you need to, you can always contact us directly at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Lastly, please note that we offer a live chat via our website at every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

    Take care and stay safe,
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

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