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  • 15 and need help asap.

    i live with my grandma and my mom and they both are extremely mentally abusive, especially my grandma. i am a dancer but was recently taken out of my dance team by my mom because of my grades. at school, i never even seem to try anymore and dont care. i feel as if i have nothing going for me anymore. my mom and grandma only compare me to my friends and family with straight a’s and it’s so tiring because all i feel like im just a disappointment. im a sophomore in high school at the moment and got out of a relationship about a month ago. my mom had found out we had been intimate once and now all my grandma and mom only ever talk about that. they say that im just always gonna get used and my whole reputation will be ruined and that im a slut from that one experience. they are threatening to go to the police and tell them everything that happened and threaten to try and charge him when he is practically the same age and it was with full consent. there is now this guy that likes me though that is a senior and is african american. my grandma and even slightly my mom, are extremely racist and only say that black boys will just use me and try to get in my pants and just have an overall hatred for poc. they only accept white people. they are extremely mentally abusive and will ever hardly leave the house, with the exception of only one friend. i get so many hurtful words just thrown at me daily, like how i have no future and have no respect for myself when i clearly do. they say im the reason that they have so many problems and it’s all just been so much that im just numb to it. nothing even phases me anymore. all they ever do is call me a failure and i quite frankly feel like i have no point to my life anymore. they say if i even talk to the guy that likes me, they will call the police. i feel like such a burden and i need to move as soon as possible because i cant take this anymore. i need to get away from this all.

  • #2
    Hi there,
    First, thank you for reaching out to us. It takes a lot of bravery to be so honest about what’s going on and to look for help. We are sorry to hear your home life is so difficult right now. You absolutely do not deserve to be the brunt of any mental or verbal abuse, nor are you the cause of other people’s problems. Please know that you don’t have to face this all alone. We are here to listen, here to help.

    Your situation definitely sounds frustrating to say the least. It must really hurt to be treated this way by your own family – and to have them threaten you with simply talking to someone at school. Please know that your reputation is not ruined, you do have a future ahead of you, and you clearly do have self-respect by the very fact that you are concerned about your situation and have reached out to us.
    It sounds like you would like to move out of your house. That’s understandable, all things considered. One possibility might be to ask permission from your mom (assuming she is your legal guardian) to live elsewhere if there is someone you’d feel comfortable living with (perhaps a different relative). Even if that is not an option, there are other things you can do that might help improve your situation. Often people that are in similar situation to your own find that seeking out a support network is very helpful. That can be friends and relatives, but also school counselors, teachers, or other adults that you trust. Talking to a counselor can also be helpful in many cases. You could contact SAMHSA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you counseling resources as well. Of course, we are always here for you at 1-800-RUNAWAY, even if you just need to vent a bit or talk to someone. We also offer a conference call service where we could do a three-way call between you and your mom to see how the situation might be improved for you. Since you do mention abuse, you also have the option of filing a report with your state’s abuse reporting hotline. If you would like, we can call Child Help USA at 1-800-422-4453 and they can help provide you more information on how to file that report. But that’s totally up to you. We never tell anyone what to do.

    No matter what you decide, this is a stressful time. Figuring out how you can cope with the stress you are under is really important. Maybe that means continuing to dance (even if it’s not on the school team), talking to friends, journaling, or just finding some quiet personal time. There’s a lot more we could explore with you but we probably would need some more information about your situation. The best way for us to help is for you to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are 24/7, confidential, and non-judgmental. We also have a chat option if you feel more comfortable with that. You can find that at the top of our website, www.1800runaway.org. We hope to hear from you soon! Please try to stay safe.
    NRS

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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