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  • we both want to have sex

    i've been dating this guy for at least 2 years now and we both want to have sex...we both love each other very much and nothing has got in our way...well the other night we were hanging out all by ourselves after a movie...and we both thought bout having sex...the only thing is...we both know what the consequinces are...we dont want any of us to get hurt...whether its mentally, physically, or socially...what should we do?? We have thought bout it more than once...everyday at school when there are no teachers around during passing periods we make out for like 2-4 minutes...and i think more than 4 times we have skipped classes together and gone to the restrooms and made out for a whole class period...we both know that love isnt just kissing and hugging and call or just talking to each other...its those special feelings...so we really know we do love each other...and both want to have sex...once again...what should me and him do??please help me and him!

  • #2
    Re: we both want to have sex

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard and we wish to continue to serve you in good and not so good times. It sounds like not and not so good things are happening for you right. The good thing is that you and your boyfriend have weathered the storm and gotten this far. You and him must feel a great joy to have proven to yourself and others that you can make it. Now we are hearing that fear in you that losing him or growing apart is going to be painful. Do you think not having sex is worth losing someone over? Have you thought beyond the event that you have sex and it still goes in the direction that you were not hoping for? What stood out from your posting is the concept of protective sex. We hear your concerns that there are consequences even when you are protected. Protection doesn't always guarantee safety from pregnancy and other diseases. Your concerns are valid. It is a lot of responsibility but we are not here to scare you. Two years is certainly a long time to committ to a relationship. We commend you for your loyalty to your boyfriend.

    We are not in the position to tell you what to do. It sounds like you have already given this situation some serious thought but we hope that you at least try to do right by yourself. We are mainly concerned for your safety and hope that you do what is safest. You are welcome to call us anytime to speak to someone lived at 1800RUNAWAY. We are all trained to provide you with a listening ear or options outside of your surroundings. Have you thought about speaking to one of your counselors at school? School counselors can assist you with educational materials to help you be fully aware of what you are risking. We recognize that you are in a position where the issue is simply a matter of when do you and your boyfriend have sex but when the time is right, only you will know that. We hear that the time is right now for you but if you have a strong relationship there should be no pressure right. We hope that in the end you get to choose for yourself and not do so forcefully. You noted that you also hang out outside of school in places where you get to make out. What would happen if you get caught skipping class? We hear how much you care for each other but nothing beats getting in more trouble at school. Are you able to get together without skipping school? As stated above, we are not here to scare you but since we care for you and your boyfriend we hope you do make the best choice for each other. Good luck.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

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    • #3
      Re: we both want to have sex

      yeah i guess you could say it that way..and like we cant really hang out after school...cuz like my dad doesnt like any guy i date(its every father's way)...and like i'll go over to a friends house and i'll meet up with him in town..and like i have never gotten in trouble at school..and i dont want that to start now...so like...i really dont know what to do...

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: we both want to have sex

        It's great that you're still thinking through this. It sounds like there are barriars as well as your own hesitations. We hope you and your boyfriend are able to continue to talk about it and make the best decision for yourselves and for your relationship. You're always welcome to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you want to talk more in depth about any of this. Someone is always here!
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: we both want to have sex

          well you see....just the other day i was talking to him and i was thinkin that maybe he didnt like me anymore..cuz like i was sitting down..and he saw me and he just ignored me..i think one of my enemies at school probably told him something that wasnt true..and i think that he is mad at me...which i dont know...so anyways...he finally started talking to me again today and he said that he loves me and that he was sorry for what he did...and i said it was cool..then he said that he has still been thinking about it..and i am too...so...just a couple of hours ago...we kinda did it..and we both feel kinda scared...cuz it was like one thing led to another..and that how we did it..and we forgot to use "protection" and me and him are both praying that nothing goes wrong...and today was my birthday...so i think thats why we did it...and we are just praying nothing goes wrong..and like he said that if anything does go wrong and i get preganet that he will be there..and that he is not lying about it..so idk...im just hoping and praying that this 14th birthday of mine wont turn to anything major in a month of two...thanks.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: we both want to have sex

            Thanks for updating us on what's going on. It sounds like you're worried that there might be consequences because you didn't use protection. If you're still feeling scared and anxious about this in a week or two, you could always contact the Planned Parenthood in your area. They have a national number that you can call and it will direct you to your local clinic. The number 1-800-230-7526. Otherwise, your school nurse may be able to further assist you.

            If there's anything further you'd like our help with, please call our hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We're available 24/7. We'd be happy to talk to you about how you're feeling and what your want your next steps to be. We're glad you've been comfortable opening up to us via the bulletin boards; unfortunately, they're not really meant for on-going communication. We wish you the best of luck. Please don't hesitate to call us if you need anything else!
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: we both want to have sex

              oh my gosh, well it turns out that im pregnet..and im very freaked right now..i dont know what to do...me and tanner(boyfriend) are feeling the same way...he said that he is not leavin my side...we dont know how to tell our parents...and you guys have helped us alot..im thankful for that...so can you help us...we know that basics bout this(we learned in health class last year)...we dont know what to do..but neither one of us is leaving...please help me or help us...thank you so much for being here all the time..

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: we both want to have sex

                Hello,

                Thank you for taking the time to reach out to us again. We truly appreciate you time and we are glad that we have been helpful so far. We are happy to hear that you and your boyfriend are willing to give it your all and sticking together in these tough times. Just a reminder that our bulletin page are simply to first get to know your issues and from there we hope to hear from you in person to get some resources. However, we want to point in the direction of particular agencies to get more support. Planned Parenthood is available to you as a hotline and toll free number at1-800-230-7526 and http://www.plannedparenthood.org. The times certainly vary in terms of availability but they are known to connect a caller to the nearest Planned Parenthood center. They can provide information on birth control, STD's, pregnancy and family planning issues. They are pro choice in that they ensure women have the right to seek and obtain medically safe and legal abortions. The good thing about them also is that they have health care services but they vary by location. We hope that this can be a start for you and we know that we are here for you 24 hours a day at 1800RUNAWAY for further assistance. Good luck.

                -NRS
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: we both want to have sex

                  Please call us if you'd like to talk further about this situation. As stated perviously, we aren't able to have on-going communication via the bulletin boards. We'd be happy to talk to you on the phone and help you figure out options for all that's going on. Remember, we're always available.
                  Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                  National Runaway Safeline
                  [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                  1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                  Tell us what you think about your experience!
                  https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                  Comment

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