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24, trapped...

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  • 24, trapped...

    Hi, I just turned 24 last week, and I'm in a relationshp with a guy with aspergers. We have two children, and we have been together for three and a half years. I thought I could deal with his disability, because I felt he loved me and wanted children, a family of his own. Now I realize how stupid I was. You see, he is my first everything: first Valentine, first date, first boyfriend, first kiss, first....well you get the picture. I have absolutely nothing of my own, I don't have a job because I focused on being a student, and I don't drive because my mother wanted to keep me close to home. I came from a ridiculously abusive homelife, my therapist doesn't know how I survived. All I want is my freedom, I don't want to be controlled by another person's habits and desires like I have lived my whole life. I just want to escape, but I am so hopelessly trapped because of my children. I know I must appear evil for my intense need to flee, but if I don't I will never be able to become the person I wish to be. I have put up with enough in my short life, I just want it to be a little more peaceful, and most of all, I just want to feel wanted amd loved the way a human is supposed to be loved. My boyfriend will never be capable of giving me what I need due to his disability, but does that mean I have to be miserable all my life just because we had children together??? Someone PLEASE help me!!!

  • #2
    re: 24, trapped...

    Hi, thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. From what you’ve shared with us, it sounds like you are dealing with a lot at home with your family. You don’t deserve to feel trapped and miserable. It is absolutely not fair for you to be controlled by another person's habits and desires. We want you to know that your happiness and well-being is important, and that in no way is any of this your fault. You deserve to feel happy, supported, and free. It is ok to be your own person, with your own needs and wants. We are glad that you reached out to us, we are here to listen, here to help.

    Here at NRS, we have a database of resources for shelters, counseling services, and other helpful services that may be of interest to you. We would be happy to share any helpful resource if you reach out to us. If you are able to call in or chat with us we can better assist you explore safe options, as we do not know your location.

    It seems that you are doing your best to cope with everything that you are experiencing at home. Emotional distress can sometimes be overwhelming and you don’t have to experience this alone.
    If you would like additional support, one helpful resource is the National Suicide Hotline, 1800-273-8255. They have a skilled and trained counselors available with a lot of experience talking with people who are feeling and experiencing emotional distress.

    We can help explore some safe options with you, if you would like to talk further. Our lines are open 24/7 and can be reached at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our live chat program is available every day from 4:30 PM until 11:30 PM CST and could be accessed through our website: We look forward to hearing from you to better assist you. We hope you stay safe.

    Stay strong.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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