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  • i dont know what to do

    im 14 years old and im struggling with a controlling mom. about 2 months ago started dating this guy i really like. about a week ago we went on a date to say goodbye because he was going on a trip. we decided we wanted to go all the way . we were safe and used protection. i think i might love him. anyway a few days later i was with my mom and she took my phone and looked through it and found out. she was furious, she grounded me, took my phone, said i wouldnt be allowed to date, and he made me break up with him. for me this feels like the last straw. she has already said im not allowed to be friends with an entire group of people just because they have anxiety and cut themselves. she also says im not allowed to walk down the street, ride my bike, take the bus. basically im not allowed to leave the house alone. ive tried sitting down and talking to her but that always makes it worse for me. i havent really thought much about running away but i dont think i can stay here. i have no money and no place to go. i thought about staying at a friends house but i dont want to get them in trouble. also idk if it would be permanent or just taking time to figure my life out. i just know that i have to do something or it will just keep getting worse. please help me.

  • #2
    re: i dont know what to do

    Hey there,

    Thank you for being able to reach out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline, it seems like you are going through a pretty tough time at this point in your life and we want you to know that we are here to listen and to help in the best way that we can. From what you shared, it sounds like your mother doesn’t give you much space to be yourself and learn how to be independent.

    Have you considered talking to anyone about what you have been going through? Sometimes just being able to talk to someone about what you’ve been going through could help ease your situation. Perhaps there is a friend, family member or counselor that you may be able to reach out to and just talk about your situation. We are also here to listen, we are here 24/7 and would love to talk to you about what is going on in your life. Another thing you can possibly think about is talking to your mother or writing a letter to her explaining how you are feeling and letting her know what your thoughts are about the situation.

    There are also some things you might want to consider before you decide to leave, we have listed some questions below that can help you brainstorm through your situation:

    • Do I have a place to stay?
    • What about school? Would I continue to get an education?
    • Am I going to be gone awhile or coming back in a few days?
    • What would I do for money? Shelter? Food? Transportation?
    • Who can I depend on if I leave home?
    • Do I have a safe, solid plan?
    • What is my plan b in case my first plan doesn’t work?
    • What have I done to make things better at home?
    • What can I do to make things better at home?
    • Who have I reached out to make things better at home?

    We hope that you are able to find our response helpful, If you have any more questions, or need someone to talk with you can feel free to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (1-800-786-2929.) We are here 24/7 and always available to talk to you. We wish you the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon.

    Stay stong,

    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Hi...

      Hi my name is Jasmine im 16... my mom is very hard on me. I havnt even been allowed to date until this year and of course ive went behind her back in the past but what teenager wouldnt its rediculous, anyways, so this year on march 11th i met the love of my life. He fell completely in love with me and as did i with him. Weve done some things we havnt suppose to like went all the way but my mom doesnt know. All she knows is one day we were making out and getting a little sexual like just touching eachother you know and she happened to walk by where we were and now im not allowed to see him, its been a month... at first it was ok i was thinking itll get better and ill see him when im off punishment but now im thinking im never gonna see him. Im so depressed i cry myself to sleep i cry multiple times every single day. I can feel my heart breaking in my chest you know.... and hes a good guy hes staying right by my side through it all and lets just say hes taking it better now but it was hard on him in the beginning which is good because he can be strong for me but the depression its like its making me become a different person. And im not clinically depressed i havnt gone to a doctor about it its just the way i feel. But i get angry with him easily then the next second i just wanna love him and make everythjng better... i think im giing crazy but i feel like sometimes my heart isnt even in my chest, its with him. Weve talked about running away when i turn 17 and he turns 18. I just want to be happy and i can only be happy with him and i dont know what to do i dont want to run away i just want her to accept him for the sake of my heart and to save my tears because i cry so much that i run out of tears to cry but then somehow the process restarts and i think about him and the tears come falling like a waterfall.... all i want is to be happy and he is my happiness but if i leave i cant finish school. But if i stay i feel like ill never be happy... how do i get through school going through what im going through... how do i even get through the day ;( i need help i just dont wanna be so sad anymore and i wanna love and be with him...

      Comment


      • #4
        re: Hi...

        Hello Jasmine,

        Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like this situation has been upsetting for you and that this has been very hard on you. It seems like you really care about this person and that this person has a positive impact on your life. It also sounds like you would be really happy if your mom would approve of this relationship. It seems like you have had a hard time coping with all of this and we want to do whatever we can to help you.

        You mentioned running away since mom does not approve of this situation. At the National Runaway Safeline we are 24/7 and confidential. If you did decide to run away we could help you find somewhere safe to go. And you’ve also mentioned a great amount of sadness, it could be really important for you to reach out to a friend, a teacher, anyone that would be a support system for you. Again, we’re really glad you reached out to us. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is a really positive thing. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-runaway or chat with us. We’re here to listen and we’re here to help.

        Good luck to you,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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