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  • my boyfriends mom

    i have been dating this guy for the past 5 weeks and his brother just told his mom that him and i were dating. she is very mad because i am a year and seven months older than him. i want to stand up to her but im afraid. i want to tell her that there is nothing wrong with us. granate he is only 15 and im 17 but he turns 16 the day before halloween and i dont turn 18 until feb. is there really anything wrong with that? i just want to let her know that im not going anywhere but i dont know if she is going to like that. its already bad enough that i cant go over to his house on school nights i dont want to be baned from going over there at all.please help im freaking out and im not about to lose the greatest thing that has happened to me in years because of his mom. i really like him and im his first girlfriend and i know that there is some benefits that come with that but some times it can be bad. HELP

  • #2
    Re: my boyfriends mom

    Hey,

    Thanks for contacting us. Sounds a very unique and frustrating situation you're going through.

    Sound slike your boyfriend's mom isn't being fair about this whole thing. What does your boyfriend think about his mom's reactions?

    As distinct as your situation might be, 5-weeks is not a long time to be dating someone. Do you think if you give it a little more time, she might get to know you more and probably come to terms? Sometimes it take a bit of time to pass before people really get to know someone. This seems like one of those cases.

    It's good to hear that you and him are getting along and feel so strongly about each other. What can you both do to work together to try and help his mom feel differently about you?

    If you are able and willing, please give us a confidential call at 1800-RUNAWAY and we can talk a little more about what's going on with this situation.

    Best of luck,

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: my boyfriends mom

      even tho i have only been dating him for 5 weeks but i have known that family for so long. i just want to be able to prove to her that im not going anywhere and that there isnt anything she is going to be able to do about it and im afraid that if i do try and stand up to her then im going to lose all contact that i have with him. im glad that you know since i am his first girlfriend im glad that he isnt going to listen to his mom. is it really that bad that im a year and seven months older than he is? can i really get in trouble when i turn 18 if he is 16?

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: my boyfriends mom

        Hey,

        Seems like you feel strongly about your relationship with this person, however, you are correct in questioning your legal standing with being involved with a minor.

        In actuality, you may get into a bit of legal trouble if the mother decided to report this to the police. You might be okay since the person you are with is 16 and uaually at 16 they can consent to being in a relationship with someone over 17 and only 4 years difference. But please don't quote me on that. If you'd like to inform yourself correctly, please contact the local non-emergency police number in your area and ask how that would work. I'm pretty sure you can remain anonymous and just as hypothetically.

        And you are right in saying that his mom probably can't do anything to change your relationship with your boyfriend. How do you think she feels if she knows that you think that way? Do you think it makes her angrier when you say, "there isn't anything she is going to be able to do about it"? That is her son and the reason why she's upset may be because she is a little protective of him. You think that might have something to do with it?

        Good luck,

        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: my boyfriends mom

          im best friends with my boyfriends sister and she told me that the only way for her mom to actually understand things is if you stand up to her. but i dont know how to stand up to her. i dont want to lose my boyfriend because of his mom

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          • #6
            Re: my boyfriends mom

            Hey,

            Ok. So sounds like you have people that know her pretty well and are willing to give you ideas on what to do. Can you keep getting support and advice from your boyfriend's sister to safely have your voice heard?

            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: my boyfriends mom

              frankly im freaking out about the whole thng the only thng that she is telling me that im the one who has to stand up to her if i want her to get over the fact that my boyfriend and i are together. i dont know how to do that and im scared. other people dont understand.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: my boyfriends mom

                It definitely sounds like a tough situation. It’s never easy to confront someone and stand up to them, especially when you don’t know how they’re going to react. It sounds like even though maybe others in your life don’t completely understand, they’re trying to be supportive. Sometimes before difficult conversations it helps to really think through what you want to get across to the other person. Perhaps writing out a list of points will help you prepare for the conversation with his mom. Also, thinking about the possible arguments the mom could use and your responses may help you feel a little more comfortable about the whole thing.

                If you’d like to have a more in depth conversation about any of this, you’re welcome to call our hotline anytime. Someone is always available. We’re completely confidential and anonymous. We can’t tell you want to do, but we’d be happy to talk to you about how you’re feeling, what you’re going through and maybe come up with some options.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                Tell us what you think about your experience!
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: my boyfriends mom

                  you know i had to go through the same thing..and finally after a month or two..his mom was like getting to know me afterwords..and now we are like the best of friends..it wasnt easy telling her that i loved her son..and yes mothers are protective over their sons cuz that is all they have..and i just pretty much told her that i love her son and that it would really nice if she took the time to get to know me better and just realize that im a really good girl..and i guess she thought bout wat i said and gave me a chance and now we talk all the time.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: my boyfriends mom

                    Thanks for sharing your story and relating your experience with our other poster. It helps to know others have been through similar situations in the past. Support from others is essential during difficult situations.
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                    Tell us what you think about your experience!
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment

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