Girlfriend with unaccepting parents

[Guest]

I am a female (16 years old) and my girlfriend (also 16) is verbally abused at home. Her mother is extremely unaccepting of her sexuality and our relationship. She’s called disgusting and told she will never be accepted along with many other hurtful things all the time. She’s been grounded since our relationship was discovered by her parents which was in June. So for the last 5 or 6 months she’s been grounded, has no phone, can’t see anyone, and has been moved to the school in the town over. She is picked up IMMEDIATELY after school and watched by her mother during lunch. All of this has made her extremely depressed and even makes her think of hurting herself. I’m very concerned she’d go through with hurting herself and make an irreversible mistake. Can she be emancipated and live with someone else? She’s mentally not okay at all in her home and things are starting to get very bad for her. I’d hate if she hurt herself when we could’ve gotten her out of this situation. She’s requested that I ask if she could leave home or live with someone else being she has no way of communication because all of her electronics are taken away. I’m only able to communicate when she calls me off a friend’s phone at lunch. Please help!! Thank you!!

[ccsmod6]

First of all, thanks for reaching out. This is a serious situation, and your girlfriend is lucky to have you trying to help her. No one deserves to be treated that way, especially if she’s depressed, needs support and real understanding.
You asked about emancipation, and the rules for that actually vary from state to state. We’ll be happy to provide Legal referrals if you can tell us which state you’re in. In any case, it’s very common that a judge will want to see if the youth is financially independent before granting emancipation; it sounds like this could be a problem in your girlfriend’s situation.
In any case, we need to get her some help and quickly. One thing to think about is thinking if there a friend or relative of her mother, meaning another adult who she respects and listens to, and who would agree to talk to her about her daughter. Maybe someone from the outside could help her see the signs that she’s refusing to see on her daughter (like her depression, that she needs help, may be wanting to hurt herself, etc.)… Another idea would be for your girlfriend to reach out to the counselor at her new school; he/she should be able to help her, and even contact her mother if she wants, to help the mother see what’s going on.
Well, these are a couple of ideas to get her some immediate help. In terms of dealing with her mother’s non accepting your relationship, maybe an option to consider is seeing if her mother would consider going to counseling with her. Maybe your girlfriend could call us at 1-800-runaway, then we call her mom and do a mediated conference call (assuming she would have access to a phone long enough) to discuss options.
We want to also give you some resources and useful suggestions: www.lgbthotline.org or www.itgetsbetter.org. Please reach out if we can help further, ok? Be strong, and thank you for helping and caring for your girlfriend.