Long Distance

[Guest]

Hello there! I need some help. Here's the backstory: I met my boyfriend online 5 months ago, we're going on 6 months now and I couldn't be happier with him. The thing is we've had an amazing summer, but now he has to go back to school. Now there is no more staying with him for 10 days and coming back a week later, no late night skype, he won't even be able to text as much. Now obviously he needs school-- he wants to go to college! Also he turned 16 in august and I turned 17 in may. I've been missing him ever since, it's the worst pain yet because I have no idea when I'll be able to see him next. We're struggling with limited contact. Also he lives in Ontario while I live in NY.
I'm considering running, but I don't know. Even if I get up there, where do I go from there? I would be stuck because I'm guessing his parents would bring me back and my parents would be looking. And my parents know all about my boyfriend and the area he lives in so, I'm guessing they'd know exactly where I went, and then I'd be in serious trouble. I have a main plan of maybe waiting and just going to college and eventually immigrating, but how do I survive this year? Each day away from him hurts more, I cry every night, and we even argue more over text because we're both stressed. When I'm with him everything melts away and I'm purely happy.
I've got some questions. Like if I were to run at 17, could I return at 18 without getting in trouble? If I could get my parents to not report me missing would I get in trouble? I'm having a tough time figuring it all out. I don't want to leave, but I'm just so sad. I have no motivation and today it got to the point where I wanted to not exist. We live about 2 hours apart. I have no car, no license, no money. I feel pathetic, and I want to just run so I can stop disappointing my parents, they get mad when I talk to him a lot for some reason. Also, if I did run I'm guessing I'd be considered illegal and wouldn't be able to get a job or anything to live.
I want to be able to live and get married and have kids with him, I want a life with my soulmate! But if i run, do I give up all that?

[ccsmod4]

Reply: Long Distance

Hello,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

We appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
It sounds like you are considering running away to be with your boyfriend and being able to stay away until you are 18.
We understand that you may have some confusion about the runaway laws but we want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time.
Here is some brief information. In most states 18 years old is the age that an individual may leave home without permission from their parent or legal guardian. A person under the age of 18 leaving home without permission, a parent/guardian may file a runaway report with the police. What actions the police take once you are filed as a runaway can vary a lot from state to state and even city to city.

Generally speaking, a minor that encounters a police officer while reported as a runaway, may likely be detained until they can be returned home. Another thing to consider is that while running away is not a crime, a legal adult who allows a runaway to stay with them may be putting themselves at risk for being charged with harboring a runaway. A good way to find out the laws in your area is to call the non-emergency number of your local police and ask what their policies are regarding runaway youth.

We hope that helps. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, we can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or www.1800Runaway.org.

Again tell us what it is you would like us to help you with and we will be happy to explore some options with you.
NRS is here to listen and here to help.
We hope to hear from you soon.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

Me and my boyfriend have been apart for almost a year. We waited till I was 19 and he had a better job before I moved out. Just be patient, you're lucky you're parents are aware and supportive. My family wouldn't ever let me out the door knowing of my boyfriend. You'll be ok, I know it gets hard and feels like there's nothing else to push you forward in life but you just have to set goals and be happy that eventually you'll get there. 6 months at 16 is too soon for you to move. I wish the best for you though.

[ccsmod9]

Thank you for your response to another user’s post. Often forums are a place of support and understanding for many youth. It often may be validating and helpful for users to read similar situations as well as exchange feedback to one another. For anyone experiencing any difficulties or challenges, the National Runaway Safeline encourages youth to reach out to our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat for immediate services.
All the best,
NRS