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Long-distance boyfriend wants to commit suicide

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  • Long-distance boyfriend wants to commit suicide

    I'm 15 years old and I've been dating this boy who's 16 years old. We live about 2 states away from each other and it's almost a 4 hour drive to reach each other. He's refusing to get the help he needs because he's got it in the past and he said it didn't really help him. He thinks suicide is the only way from this pain. I want to run away to go see him because he needs someone to be with him through this because I'm really concerned. We had a call earlier and he was talking like he was going to do something to himself. I even skipped one of my activities I needed to go to tonight to make sure he didn't do anything to himself. I need a way down there but I don't know how to get down there safely because my parents won't let me stay down there with him. He was doing okay for a few days until I had to break the news I wouldn't be able to go down there because my parents REFUSE to let me. I don't know what to do or say and I've had multiple panic attacks over this because I'm just so worried about him. He tried to OD when I was on vacation and it hurt me a lot when he told me about what he did. I want to runaway to be with him so he doesn't do anything.

  • #2

    Thank you for contacting us at National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you have a very difficult situation. It is very frightening when someone you care for talks about suicide, and it sounds like you are an important support for your boyfriend. It really sounds like you care for him and don't want anything bad to happen to him, but we hope that you are taking the proper measures in taking care of your own mental health. It is a lot to take on by yourself and no one excepts you to just to shoulder that all alone. So might be good to take some time to think about what is going to realistic for you to do, especially if you are a few states away from him. It's great that you are there for him, but at the same time know that being there is already a big help and your aren't expected to "solve" all the issues that he is facing. Most of that comes from the person themselves and taking the steps to make those changes with the support from loved ones. If something does happen before you get to see him, please know that you are certainly not to blame and you did nothing wrong.

    You don’t say if he lives with family, but you could encourage him to talk with someone who is there with him. If that isn’t possible or not what he wants, he could call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline (1-800-273-8255). They are trained to talk about suicidal thoughts and actions and can be very helpful. You said that your parents won’t let you visit him. If you feel comfortable, you could tell them how serious the situation is and see if they are able to help.

    Like we tell a lot of our callers and/or people that email us, the laws on that specific subject of just leaving home and/or running away vary from state to state. Now we aren’t legal experts, but what generally what typically happens in each state is if you are below the legal age of majority (18 in most states except Alabama and Nebraska [19 or upon marriage], and Mississippi [21]), your parents would be able to make a runaway report in the event that you do run away. Since it’s only considered a statues offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick you up and bring you back home.

    You or your boyfriend can also call us her at NRS; we are available 24 hours a day/7 days a week. We could then discuss your situation in greater detail and see how we could bet help. Take care.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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