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Wanting to run away to my boyfriend (LDR)

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  • Wanting to run away to my boyfriend (LDR)

    I'm not gonna use any real names here just for my own safety. I will be called Emily and my boyfriend is going to be called Chris. He and I are 15 years old.

    I don't deal with massive family issues. Just a lot of yelling with my parents. Finally, my dad is working away from home and only comes on weekends. I hate my dad a lot so this is great, but it's only going to be for a little while till he can find something closer to be with family. I just think my dad treats my mother so poorly. Always calling her names and bringing her down. Sometimes he does get physical. Last time I remember he did was just couple years ago. My mother was planning to take my sisters and me away to a different state with her sister.

    Besides that I been dealing with depression really bad right now. My mother tries her best to protect me from things I will take such as pills or anything I can use to cut myself. My boyfriend is very helpful because I never tell my mother when I do such things. If I never met my boyfriend my mother wouldn't have known that I overdosed myself. So you see my depression is pretty god damn awful here. I have no one here where I live and my boyfriend lives few states away. I don't really have friends either. I don't leave my house often. The closest friend that actually lives in my city ended up sexually assaulting me for months. I did tell my mother. She didn't do much. She did offer to talk to him I think, but I didn't want to make it a big deal.

    He and I have been together for a couple for 2 months so far. We knew each other for 3 months. We Skype a lot because I dread texting only because its hard to express yourself like that so its easier for both of us to Skype each other. When I'm with him I can be myself (I age regress so I act like 2-8 years old while I'm in that headspace) When I'm here where I live I'm afraid to do that. My family finds me weird for it. I just wish they were open minded about it and would try to think of not so much as a kink (It is not always sexual!).

    This is more venting about this. I just wish I can run away from home to be with him. I cry over it multiple times a day. I know the distance is hard, but it never been this hard till I met him. I don't think I will be running away, but I just wish I can to finally be happy with him.

    I do understand that I can talk to my mother about meeting him, but due to money wise it's not an option.

    Thank you for reading.

  • #2
    Hi Emily,

    Thanks for reaching out! You have seen and experienced strong emotions and events. It takes a lot of courage and strength to look for help. You deserve to be treated with respect from your friends, and to be heard when you speak out about abuse. Depression can be isolating, talking to is a big step forward; hopefully one of many.

    We have several resources for you, first and foremost we want to make sure you are safe, you are important! There is a website called To Write Love on Her Arms (twloha.com) that is a resource on self-harm. There are also two hotlines, one is the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (1-800-273-8255 or suicidepreventionlifeline.org) and the other is RAINN or Rape Abuse Incest National Network (1-800-656-4673 rainn.org). There are other counseling resources available by location, just call our hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY, we’re open 24/7 and can provide counseling resources, or an ear.

    It is completely understandable that you would want to be with Chris at this difficult time. It’s important that you have this support in your life. You mentioned talking to mom about going to visit. A service we provide at National Runaway Safeline is to help talk to parents. Call us anytime and a member can walk through what you would like to talk to mom about and how we can help facilitate the conversation. It seems mom is supportive and wants you to be happy, this might be an option. Maybe there is a way to work with mom to save money and visit Chris or that Chris could visit you. You mentioned you don’t think you want to run away at this time. Again if this changes, we are here 24/7 if you want to talk through your options.

    Again, we’re really glad that you reached out to us. It takes a lot to ask for help and you are trying to figure out your options which is really good to see. If you would like to talk further about your situation, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We’re here to listen, here to help.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
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