i wanna leave and never come back. EVER.

[chicagoteen]

WHY CANT I CHANGE? I try and try but I don't know why am I such a weak person. my boyfriend has given me a lot of signals that he's cheating, but I always go back with him. I guess because I really never felt love in my house that I seek for it with someone that doesn't deserve my time and energy. 4 more months and we are 1 year together and am I 16 years old. I just feel so alone. because of my behavior, as a punishment, my parents took away my phone so I cant contact anyone. I could only get help when I write to here using the computer at school. because I know at my house my mom, my dad, and all of my siblings don't trust me at all. all my friends in school turn out to be fake and they stopped talking to me. as you may see I feel so alone. like I cant trust anybody. at school, I cant express myself because I don't have friends that are that close. at home, nobody wants to hear me out, to them I am just a troubled teen that needs to shut up. in my relationship, this guy could literally be cheating on me, and am I too blinded with this stupid idea that he loves me so much and would never do anything to hurt me. I just need to feel some ones love that I always make up excuses for him. and I feel if I leave him, I have absolutely no one. and that's it, how much pain can one girl take. all I wanted is to be happy with my boy friend, but because I was with him I have lost my friends and family. now that he's doing this to me, no one wants to listen, and I am forever alone. I want to leave asap but I still want to stay in school. but if I stay in school, my parents would know where I am at, and they would just make me come home because I am only 16. I don't know what to do. I HAVE TO LEAVE.

[ccsmod0]

re: i wanna leave and never come back. EVER.

Hi there,

Thanks for reaching out today and posting your story. It’s clear that you’re going through so much and working through so many things. It’s not easy to feel alone – you know that. It’s got to be so frustrating and exhausting to be in a situation that makes you feel stuck. It does actually sound like you are changing and working on figuring things out. Sometimes things don’t change as fast as we want them too, but you are changing and you are thinking through things. That’s an important step in making life changes. It’s incredibly admirable too, to live in a way that is reflective (even though it can definitely be exhausting!). It’s smart of you to reach out for some guidance, so let’s see how we can help you out.

If you feel like you have to leave, it can be important to put together a plan so that you are safe when you leave, and that you understand the consequences. In some places there are shelters where people under 18 can go to get a break from things. It is not a long term option, but it is a place where you can talk with someone and then at some time return back home. You can see if there is a place nearby to you at www.nationalsafeplace.org. If you click on your state in the upper right corner, you can see if there is anything around. They also offer transportation, so take a look.

Thinking through who your supports are can be a good next step too. Even if you haven’t reached out to this person yet, can you think of someone who you might be able to share your story with? Building up as much support around you as possible can be helpful when you are feeling so overwhelmed. You can check out www.loveisrespect.org to see what a healthy relationship looks like and a way to make one happen for yourself.

We hope that this is a helpful start for you. If you’d like to talk more about anything please don’t hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). You can also chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time. You can also check out www.teenlineonline.org for another place to vent and talk with someone.

We look forward to your call or chat.

Best of luck to you,

NRS

[Unregistered]

Feeling Alone.

I Can relate. I feel alone in my house...my mom passed away 11months ago...since then my oldest sister took Guardian ship over me...I made some mistakes....But i was hurt i was only 14 and loseing my mother was hard...shes Always Singleing me put and treating me differently... And im alone i have no one to talk to ive been leaving in this house for 4years since she took over....She makes me feel like im nothing....and she said shes lending me a room? Like Wtf ive been here longer then you have... shes always been selfish she chocies men over anyone. Every time her and her boyfriend break up shes nice and $$$$ but she Beggs to get him back.. He have beated her while she was prego and all that $$$$ and ive been the one to help.... and all she does is trash my name.... and Tear me down to wear i hate being here....She got pregante at 14 Turned 15 when she had her and she still acts like the made no mistakes im 15 and Dont do ******** that she does and i feel she hates on me im Tired of being with her....And i wish i had Family But i dont...my "Close" cousin to Dick crazy and Chocies her bf over her Blood so im alone and Depressed and Just want away out...

[ccsmod9]

RE: Feeling Alone.

Hey there,

Thanks for reaching out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline.

We’re really sorry to hear about all these things that are happening at home. Also, we’re so sorry to hear about your mother. That must have been a tremendous loss. These problems you’re having with your sister certainly don’t make it any easier. It must have taken a lot of courage to come to us today and we’re very glad you did.

It sounds like you and your sister are each having a lot of difficulties getting along. It is understandable since it sounds like she’s had a hard time over the years and that you’ve both recently lost your mother. Also, living in the same household with someone over such an extended period can start to strain any relationship, no matter how strong the bond. If you’d like to talk about some strategies for talking with your sister, please feel free to give us a call here at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We could even try a conference call with your sister, since she is your legal guardian, if you think you’d like help in communicating to her how you’re feeling. You’d need to call in to make that happen, so the choice is completely yours.

It sounds like your sister has also been through some hard times, so it might be good to keep in mind that you both might be hurting. You mentioned that her boyfriend beat her when she was pregnant. That must have been awful. Remember, if this type of thing continues to happen you have the right to call the police. Anytime you or your sister’s safety is threatened please do not hesitate to get the help you deserve.

We really hope this information helps you. We encourage you to call or try our Live Chat if you’d like to get into more detail or just talk about these things happening in your life. We wish you the best in whatever you decide to do.

Stay Strong,
NRS

[Unregistered]

dont want to live with anyone

Hi, I don’t want to leave with any one. I am married girl or woman I don’t who I am. Literally I am fed up with all. I only love my father but I can’t stay with him buzz I am married and in our culture girl cannot stay at home after their marriage. And I don’t want to leave at my in laws house. Because no one can understand my feeling. I can’t live here like my childhood. I just hate to stay here. And I want to go somewhere without anyone.

[ccsmod4]

I dont wanna live with anyone

Hi,
Thanks for contacting the National Runaway Safeline.

It sounds like you are going through a tough time and you are maybe looking to find somewhere you can have some time alone. We understand if you might be feeling overwhelmed emotionally. If you are having issues with your marriage then a marriage counselor might be something to consider.
NRS provides services to runaway/homeless youth (under the age of 12 up to the age of 21). We also offer services to parents of runaway or at risk youth. Are you an adult over the age of 21? If so you might try United Way services by dialing 3-1-1 or 2-1-1 depending on your city and state. Does that make sense?

We hope that you are able to figure things out and to also feel better.

Take Care,
NRS

[Guest]

my parents are shipping me out if i have bad grades, im 12 yrs old what do i do?

[Guest]

I don't even want to live anymore! My brother is abusive, my dad is a creep, my mom does care about me, I can't see any of my old family member, I have lost so m any people it isn't funny! I'm afraid to get close to people because I've lost so many of them. I have, well now had, a best friend that I've known since kindergarten and me and him have been through a lot together and then right after he got a new girlfriend who is like an enemy, he stopped taking to me and I've been crying my eyes out since!! I don't want to loose him he is all I have left!

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about all that you have been facing at home and with your friend, and want you to know that you deserve to feel happy in your home and your life is valuable. You mentioned not wanting to live anymore and that you have dealt with a lot of loss. and we want you to know there are people that want to listen and help. If you ever need to talk to someone, don't hesitate to call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255.

We are not legal experts, but we can tell you that if you are a minor and you leave home and your parents file a runaway report, you could be returned home. There could also be legal consequences for whomever you stay with for what is called harboring a runaway. If you want a liner to help you walk through other options like us mediating a conference call between you and your parents, thinking through possible adults that you could turn to or could advocate for you, or things like emancipation and legal aid numbers, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

Stay safe,

NRS

[Guest]

I am 16 yrs old and I have been beaten by my older brother to the point when sometimes I get sent to the hospital or seriously hurt. And I’m just getting to the point where I just want to leave this place and never come back and see how much people supposedly misses me. And my parents my be send me off to boarding school for 16 months what do I do??????????

[ccsmod1]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about all that has been going on and want you to know that you deserve to feel safe and happy in your home. You mentioned experiencing abuse which may be reportable against your brother. Please keep in mind you by no means deserve any type of abuse, emotional or otherwise. That said, we can’t be 100% sure what the outcome will be if your local CPS decides to open a case based on what you share. Sometimes CPS decides to remove minors from the home and other times they offer services such as family counseling or mediation instead. The only way to know the outcome might be to reach out to them directly and if you’re ready to do that we are here to help you through that process. Reaching out to Child Help USA at (1-800-422-4453) or www.childhelp.org may help to get a better understanding of what may happen before and after a report is made.

Do you have anyone in your life, like a trusted adult or family member or school counselor, that you can talk to about the abuse and get help? They could help you through this process so you don't have to feel alone. If not, we are here 24/7 at 1-800-786-2929 to help you talk through your options. Don't hesitate to give us a call whenever you need us.

Best,

NRS

[Guest]

I live in a household where I have to do most of the chores which I don't mind too much, but whenever I ask my mom to help me by doing some of the dishes herself she yells at me. an hour ago today my mom had yelled at me, I just woke up from a two hour nap. so I go to take care of the trash, and my mom yells at me once more for forgetting to bring my bike home, which I left at school. My mom gives a serious tone with my older sister who had stolen my mom's credit cards many times, and she had done it once more, and all she got was a small hit on the wrist and they went to talking and laughing, and my mom she yells at me for forgetting my bike, and when I raise my tone a little bit, she tries to hit me. I don't wanna live with these people anymore, they're not my real family, they're my adopted family. I don't wanna live in a household with a bunch of people who are nonstop hurting me both emotionally and physically, but mostly emotionally. I don't feel loved or wanted, and I want to die. My aunt was the only person in the family who really cared for me, not just for my education but for my well being, but she's dead, and I miss her so much. I just wanna leave and die, I don't to exist and I want them to hurt the way I hurt. and if I do end up killing myself one day, I want them to know it was their fault.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. It sounds like you are going through a really difficult time right now. You mentioned being emotionally and physically abused, you do not deserve to be treated this way. Any type of abuse in unacceptable and should not be tolerated. If you wish to make an abuse report you can call The Child Help Line at- 1800-422-4453. We know that making abuse reports can be scary if you would like our help you can call us and we would be happy to help you make a report. If you feel you’re in immediate danger or your safety is at risk you can call 911, and an officer can help you ASAP. It seems like you are going through a lot of emotions that can be really difficult to deal with alone. You could consider talking to a school counselor or a therapist about how you are feeling, sometimes talking to a professional can help us feel better. You also mentioned wanting to die and suicide. We want you to know that you are valuable and that your life is worth living. If you are ever feeling suicidal you can always call The Suicide Prevention Line at: 1800-273-8255, they are available 24/7. When you are having thought like this you can try coping skills that may distract you from feeling this way. Some coping skills may be: going on a walk, talking to friends, writing in a journal, or doing hobbies you enjoy may help you.
Your safety is our top concern and we hope that you are safe. We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to talk more please feel free to give us a call we are here 24/7. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

I want to go away from all but I don't have money... I'm ready to beg also.....

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out, we know that it takes a lot of courage to do so. It’s important to consider all the possibilities that can occur if you leave home. You will need to plan out how you will cover basic necessities like travel, food, clothing, etc. If you have a place to go in mind, it’s good to see what the expectations of the living arrangement will be like; rules, the amount of time you’re allowed to stay, if you’re expected to contribute financially, etc. Living on your own can also bring about many safety risks. You will need to consider ways that you can protect yourself from physical harm as well as the possibility of sexual and labor exploitation. This can all influence your decision to leave.

If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, or if you’d like to explore other options that you may have available to you, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you in any way we can.

We'd love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to support youth and families. Please click the link below to fill out our survey: https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/we_care_what_you_think

Stay safe,
NRS

[Guest]

If really i have a choice i will pack all my stuff in my luggage and leave, i will run far away and i forever will not go back

[ccsmod0]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that you are faced with right now and you’re feeling like leaving is one of your only options. It seems you want to know some information on runaway laws.
While we are not experts on the law, 18 is generally the age that an individual may leave home without parent permission. If you are under 18 and leave home, your parent/guardian may file you as a runaway and you may be returned home. Also, those you stay with may run the risk of being charged with harboring a runaway. For more specifics on the law, the local non-emergency police or legal aid may better answer legal questions.
The easiest way to leave home is with your parents' permission. We understand that might be challenging, however, maybe there’s another family member, relative, or a family friend who could help to communicate how you’re feeling to your parents. The second way is through Child Protective Services if safety is a concern. Lastly, you can also look into emancipation options. In most states you need to be at least 16 to be considered and demonstrate that you can support yourself financially and independently. Emancipation often can be a lengthy process and may even cost some money for court fees. We would be happy to look into legal resources if that’s something you are considering.
We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button). If you would like to look into further emotional support options, you can text with a crisis worker at the National Alliance on Mental Illness 24/7 by texting "NAMI" to 741741.
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

Hey man, I feel completely the same as you. I need to just leave the toxic household I'm in and never come back, but legally, I can't. I've got just 2 more years that I'll have to fight through. If I can do it, so can you.

[ccsmod8]

Hello there –

Thank you so much for taking the time out of our day to write to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. Sounds like you have been reading through our public forum threads and have related to one or more of the other posters on here. We hope that by helping them and helping you that there are other’s that are scrolling through will get the information that they need. We do want to say that it sounded like things at home were also very hard for you, but you were able to overcome it and live a better life day by day. That's so great that you held on to hope and want to pass on your words to someone else that might really need it right now.

It’s hard to talk to just anyone one about what has been going on. Please rest assured that we are completing confidential. So anything that you share with us will stay between us. We don’t ask for any identifying information, unless you want to report any abuse. We certainly want to help you. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having.

We would love to talk to you.