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  • Running away

    Me and my girlfriend are under really stressing problems. She is 15 and i am 17. We have been dating for more than a year and a half and known eachother for 4 years. Her mom I think has found out about us having sex. We are afraid that she might try to make us break up. I really love her, and she loves me, we have been stressing about this, and she wants to have a child with me, or runaway so they won't be able to seperate us. We have been planning on moving out when she is 18, but right now it seems like the only choice we have is to run away, since we don't want to have to end our relationship, since we love eachother, and help eachother a lot. She has helped me out of my depression, and i have done the same. I just need a different solution to this all, i suggested that if they try to break us up, we could try to get a free period at our school next semester and spend time together secretly, but even then I'm afraid of what will*happen... Please help

  • #2
    Re: Running away

    Hi there,
    Thank you for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you and your girlfriend care a lot about each other and you are very worried about her mom trying to make you break up. You mention your girlfriend would like to have a child together. If this is something you are considering, it is a good idea to think about how you would obtain basic needs supplies, like diapers, clothing, etc. for a baby, and if there are people in your life who would support you in parenting.

    You mention the option of running away. We're glad your thinking it through by reaching out to us. Have you considered where you would go, and how you would stay safe? Would you still attend school? It is also important to know that if your parents file a runaway report with the police, you can be picked up by the police and returned to you parents.

    Sometimes, it can feel like running away is the only option, and if that’s the case, it is important to look out a plan with safety in mind, considering options like youth shelters or adults who would be safe to stay with. However, you might also consider other options that may be available right now. You mention the possibility of you and your girlfriend seeing each other in secret if your parents will not let you see each other. This could be one way to maintain your relationship without running away from home. Another option might be for your girlfriend to talk to her mom. Maybe if they can discuss her mom’s concerns openly, they could come to an agreement, or compromise, which wouldn’t complete forbid your seeing each other.

    It might be helpful for you and your girlfriend to come up with a few plans: For example, Plan A could be talking to her mom, since it sounds like you are not yet certain that she will try to make you break up. Plan B might look like making a plan of times that you can still see each other, if your parents do not want you to date anymore, etc. If you want more assistance in making a plan, more information about resources available to youth, or just to talk, please feel free to call our 24-hour crisis line. We are anonymous and confidential, and we are here to help you make the choices that are right for you.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Running away

      We have thought through the economical stuff for having a child. And i would be willing to work, while fittinh a schedule in school to be able to go to school until i graduate. I don't know of any adult that we know that would support us having a child at this point in our lives.

      Running away is an option we consider, but we don't know where we would be able to go, we most likely wouldn't be able to attend school, because we wouldn't want police to find us only to be sent straight home. Youth shelters don't seem to be a good idea, since we feel as though if parents were to file a runaway report, we would be found easily in those places. Any adults that would be "safe to stay" with are all pretty much 8 hours away. We would have to find a way to get there. We have thought about the dangers of running away are however.

      Talking to her mom seems extremely hard because she is really close minded, and seems as though she would never come to an agreement. In fact even if she were to make one, she wouldn't go along with it.

      We have been trying to come up with a plan, but the pressure is just building up, and we are just desperate for an answer that we cannot yet come up with. I can't call because i don't have a phone..

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Running away

        Hi again,
        Thank you for your reply. It sounds like you and your girlfriend are under a lot of stress right now, in trying to come up with a plan that has no easy answers. It is good to hear that you are thinking things through, and have thought about the risks of running away as well. It seems that you’ve considered a lot of the possibilities for where you might go if you run away, but that is difficult to find someplace.

        It sounds like you are very mature in being willing to balance work and going to school. However, raising a child can also be a lot of work and expense—you may want to think about how you would manage child care, housing etc. since you say there is not an adult in your life who would offer support for you and a child right now.

        Since you do not have a phone, you might want to try contacting us via chat if you have regular internet access. Chat is available through our website from 4:30pm-11:30 pm Central Standard Time, and it is another way that you can discuss your situation in detail and gather information. We are not here to tell you what to do, since we cannot know the best decisions for you. We are here to support you in coping, weighing your options, and being as safe as possible.

        We wish you the best of luck, and we hope you will consider reaching out via chat as well.
        -NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment

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