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my boyfriend is in rehab ):

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    ccsmod1
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod1
    replied
    RE: my boyfriend is in rehab and it's getting harder

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us for help. It sounds like you are having a really hard time being separate from your boyfriend while he is in rehab. It sounds like you miss your boyfriend, but you are also still upset and hurt because he broke your trust when he cheated on you, and you do not have anyone to talk to about it. That sounds really tough. One thing to keep in mind is that if your partner is intoxicated or under the influence of drugs, they are still responsible for their actions. Now that your boyfriend is focusing on his recovery in rehab, it looks like you will only get to talk to him for 15 minutes a week for the rest of the year. We are here to listen and support you in any way that we can, and we might be able to help you find resources. Having someone to talk to could be a way to focus on helping yourself while your boyfriend is focusing on his recovery. One resource that might be useful is www.loveisrespect.org, a website about healthy relationships. You can also call us any time you want to talk. We are looking forward to hearing from you soon, and wish you the best of luck.

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest replied
    my boyfriend is in rehab and it's getting harder

    Hello I hope u can help me as youv been giving great advice to others, iv been with my boyfriend nearly 7 months and he's going into his second month of rehab, at first I was told it's only a 3 month programme and now it's a 5 month programme and his family knew but didn't want to say it to me. Wev been getting on good I get a phone call for 15mins every Saturday but I'm not aloud visit, he sounds so positive about our relationship in the letters but in just afraid incase when he comes out his feelings will change with me. He says he's gone to rehab to change his life for himself and our future together but I'm just so lonely and lost without him I'm only 18 and I would never of thought I would have to go through this ever!!

    He has been so brave but when he was doing the drugs he also cheated on me on night and I know myself that he was sorry because he he was devastated he keeps saying we can't bring focus on the past but I'm not over it because I never got the chance to be angry and him I'm so mad and hurt, and to make it worse I have to lie to my dad about him saying his gone to work up their country other wise my dad wouldn't be happy about our relationship, also my sisters know about him and they are non stop calling him a scumbag and it kills me because he's up there doing the right thing and there judging him they don't know him, my heart is shattered I have no support whatsoever!! What am I ment to do, because he's in there until Christmas

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod3
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod3
    replied
    Re: my boyfriend is in rehab ):

    Hello there,

    It sounds like you are experiencing a difficult time with your boyfriend right now. On the other hand, we’re glad you were able to find common ground with other users of our bulletin board. We imagine it is difficult being separated from your boyfriend while he is in rehab, but it sounds like you care a lot about him and are willing to stand by him. It seems like you’re getting a lot of your updates regarding how he is doing secondhand (mainly from his mother) which is causing added stress to an already stressful situation.

    You also mentioned your boyfriend is nearly 21 which in most cases (outside of having a developmental or mental disorder) is considered a legal adult. However, it sounds like in your boyfriend’s situation, his mother has more of an emotional/financial hold on him. You may have already seen the resources we provided to the last bulletin poster, loveisrespect.org and Narcotics anonymous. Here are some additional resources which you mind find helpful too. Scarleteen has a great article on self-care, http://www.scarleteen.com/article/cr...are_a_la_carte, so that might give you some ideas as far as how to cope. There is also Families Anonymous (FA) which is a 12-step style group which offers an online “e meeting” option, www.familiesanonymous.org/ . FA covers a lot of different problems so you might find you can open up about the issues you and your boyfriend face with his drug problem as well as his relationship with his mother.

    We hope that helps and wish you the best of luck. If you would like to continue discussing your situation, we encourage you to either call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Or, we offer Live Chat (instant-messenger style) every day from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST. Simply click on the red Live Chat button on our homepage, http://www.1800runaway.org/.

    -NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest replied
    Same story.

    My boyfriend and I are going through the same thing..I'd like to share what I have been going through. He has a drug problem, it is weed and Ketamine. Nothing too severe, but still nonetheless, a problem. His mother and I do not see eye-to-eye because she does not believe that he is in any position to date, and that irks me more than anything because he is.. My boyfriend is so smart and has all the potential in the world-- he just has these demons just like everyone else. She also lies to me CONSTANTLY. All of the information that I have found out about him and his whereabouts have been through Google and the knowledge I already have on drug addictions and rehab facilities...
    We have been dating for almost two months, and I am honestly in love with him. His mother belittles our relationship to no end. I have not seen him since August 5th because he got arrested, then his parents sent into this behavioral health hospital which he spent another week and a half in, THEN they shipped him off to California for three months in rehab. Let me just go ahead and mention that he will be 21 soon. The age of consent is 18 for rehab facilities. If he wanted to, he could walk out of there right now (not saying I want him to, I want him to get better). I just want to know if his mother can basically threaten him into going to these facilities when he is a grown man? They are wealthy, and I'm sure that she has done the whole "Go, or I will cut you off" spiel to him.. And that really, really worries me because he told me it'll only be for THREE MONTHS. When his mom FINALLY returned my phone call, she said that HER goal was for him to stay out there for FOUR YEARS and be a part of the Aftercare Living that they have, and for him to go to school out there! He NEVER expressed that to me.. The last text that he sent to me, two weeks ago, was that he loved me, he won't have his phone for 30 days, and that he will call the moment he can. Does that sound like someone who wants to stay out in East Jesus nowhere to you? He wants to be with me, here in GA, healthy and sober. He just cannot break away his "helicopter" of a mother. Now, I get that she is his mom and wants the VERY best for him. I get that. But, what she fails to understand is that her constantly pressuring him to be the person that she wants for him to be is making him act out this way, and do the things that she does. She treats him like he is 5 years old!...
    Now, I am playing the waiting game, as I have been since he got arrested back in August. I am waiting to hear from him, out of his mouth, what HE wants to do, not what his mother WANTS for him to do. It has been the longest, most emotional month of my entire life, but he is worth it. I want a future for us. A drug-free future. I will stand by his side through ANYTHING. Just not what his mother wants for his life. Not to mention we are different races, and she has raised concerns about that as well...
    I'd appreciate some type of response. There is power in numbers and any type of support would help tremendously from people who have, or are going through what I am.
    Thanks.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod3
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod3
    replied
    Re: my boyfriend is in rehab ):

    Hello there,

    We’re glad you decided to reach out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are experiencing a really difficult situation right now. It sounds like your boyfriend has taken a huge step in seeking treatment for recovery. At the same time, being away from him seems to have majorly impacted your relationship. We imagine it is quite difficult not being able to see or talk to him and you mentioned being scared you will always have trust issues now. One idea is to start a list of concerns so when you are able to see or talk to him later on, you will be able to talk about those things with him.

    It is understandable for you to want to spend time for him, especially since you mentioned having to go back to college. In the meantime, here are a few resources which might be helpful, even if they do not apply exactly to your situation.
    http://www.loveisrespect.org/ Provides support with relationships including what a healthy relationship looks like.
    Narcotics Anonymous: http://www.na.org/?ID=NAMeetings-Wha...sAtAnNAMeeting, 12 step group geared toward addicts, however; many locations offer open meetings to non-addicts.

    You are also more than welcome to contact us directly to continue discussing your situation. We offer a Live Chat every day from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST (big red button at www.1800runaway.org). Or, you can call our crisis hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) which is available 24/7. Hopefully that helps and we wish you the best of luck!

    -NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered2
    Guest replied
    My bf went away to rehab 3 weeks ago. He's supposed to stay there for 3 months. The first 2 weeks or so he called me every single day so it wasn't so bad, but now he said that they're not allowing him to use the phone for 30 days so this whole situation sucks even more. Plus I'm not allowed to visit him. I hate not being able to call him or text him whenever I want. I talk to his mom every single day, but she's also not allowed to talk to him for now. He sent me a letter and he sounds very positive and inspired to get better, but being away from him is just killing me. Especially now that it's summer and all I want to do is spend time with him before I have to go back to college. It just hurts so bad and what's worse is I'm scared for when he comes back. He lied about his Percocet addiction for 10 months. I'm scared ill always have trust issues now.

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    replied
    Re: my boyfriend is also in rehab

    Hello,

    Thanks for reaching out to us. Sounds like you're going through an intense time right now and it's good that you're reaching out for help. Seems like this is effecting you a lot.

    What do you feel like would help ease some of the things your feeling about dying right now? Do you get to communicate with him at all? Would that help make things better?

    If you're going through a lot right now and you'd like to talk about it, we're an anonymous and confidential hotline and we can talk abou thow to help make things better for you. If you're willing and able, please call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We're available 24/7.

    If the hotline is not your thing, you can also reach us on our live chat from 430p-1130p (Central Standard Time). You can shat anonymously online and get some options or details discussed.

    Best of luck.

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is also in rehab

    my bf is also gone for 3 mnth. and i feel like dying

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    replied
    RE: my boyfriend is in rehab ):

    Hello,
    Thanks for reaching out to us. Sounds like your boyfriend is going through a tough time right now. It’s good to hear that you’re there for him and helping him get all the support he can get.

    Sounds like your main concern is that he get the help he needs and you can only provide so much. Is that right? If so, you’re on the right track with finding people around him that could be there for him and his mom might be a good resource for that.

    If you spoke to her, what could you tell her? Does mom know about the rehab? It’s good that you’re taking care of your responsibilities and trying to find solid support and resources for him.

    If you or anyone else you know wants to get more help, our crisis hotline is available 24 hours a day. Please call us so we can explore what options might be available to you or your boyfriend. Call 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929).

    Best of luck,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • anonymous
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend also left for rehab without saying goodbye

    My boyfriend attempted to use drugs a several times,when i found out about it he apologised n promised dat itz nt gonna happen again n dat hz nt an addict i dnt knw wat went wrong until today in da afternoon wen he called me to say dat he iz been taken to rehab n dat he'll be back afta six...i almost collapsed da tym i waz about to answer hm hz fone went silent n switched it off..am really struggling n am writting my final examz m duin matric dont knw wat to do...should i talk to his mom about giving hm sumtng wen dy visit hm?

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod5
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod5
    replied
    RE: my boyfriend is in rehab ):

    Hello,

    Thank you for sharing your story. Sounds like you're going through a big struggle right now but it's good to hear that you're there for your boyfriend.

    You contacted the bulletin boards of the National Runaway Switchboard. We're a crisis hotline for runaway, homeless and at risk youth. We're unsure as to what other services we could provide regarding your situation but it sounds like you may be able to find supportive resources through your nursing profession.

    There was mention of feeling good about talking and sharing your story in your email. Would you be willing to seek support services through an agency that could work with you?

    If you need assistance trying to acquire an agency that could provide counseling and therapy services, you are welcome to call us at 1800-RUNAWAY and ask for whatever you're looking for. We're available 24/7.

    Best of luck,
    NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • RACMDS 10-05
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is in Rehab

    my boyfriend is in rehab for a month now, He didn't know they will put him in that facility... so we never talk before they took him... he's married but separated...our relationship is almost 8 months already and were happy to be together... He told his parents about him using methamphetamine and they help him get a detox every week. without him knowing that His parents and His wife collaborated to bring him into rehab.

    his parents are christian and they don't want Him to be separated with His wife, they don't like him to be with me... when he knew me he's trying His best to change and work hard to earn... he is supporting his wife and kids, works everyday... the only problem was when he leaves the house they taught he will use drugs or gamble in the casino which he usually does before we met... but he changed a lot, He wants to show to His parents this is what He wants...

    His mother is always angry to him, every time he leaves the house knowing he just went to our place... we wanted our relationship to be secret because they are not yet through with the separations. but they found out sooner about our relationship so they are trying too hard for him to separate with me.

    and one day on my surprise my boyfriend don't answer my message and calls... and then I find out they took Him on a rehabilitation... I get so frustrated because they have seen all our messages and posted my last message on Facebook trying to look me desperate because I cant call Him. they want me to believe that my boyfriend don't want me anymore and doesn't want to talk to me... they didn't know I found out about the rehabilitation's. I'm so depressed when that happened I didn't want to go out, cried every night, i don't even know how to get through a day...

    I cant imagine how he felt when they brought Him there... the first and the second night the hardest day of his life maybe... thinking of this makes me want to cry because I felt sorry for Him...that day before, we have talked of so many things about life, his situations with his family and he said he cant afford to be in the rehabilitation. because He heard they want to bring him there... that's why hes trying too hard to change.

    I really didn't realized that a things like this can happen in real lives... I am suffering alone without anybody to talk to. I don't even have the chance to see him or talk to him how is he... I know hes been worried about me because he knows I will find Him. and the worst part is they are holding his celfone and saw everything we have talked to. i'm not afraid of that, but that is our privacy and they are using that to ruin my reputation. that i'm a bad woman, I'm A nurse by profession.

    His family is not telling everyone he's on rehab. they say; hes on vacation. and that he and his wife are not really separated...and now His wife is claiming they are ok...what is the implication if you are separated already with your wife but she's the one who brought you in the rehab with the collaboration of His family?

    but all I want is for him to get better and not to be worst because they put him there with the grounds that he just don't want to get back with his wife... I don't know what will you feel about me... but i am telling the truth and i just want to share my story and it's different from everyone... I always want to read or listen to those people undergone counselling for me to be able to relate in their situations... i don't know what will happen when he come's back after rehab i know for sure hes going to look for me...

    the last time we've talk, he's so lovely and trying to tell me how loves me and want to be with me... and he will do everything to change for me. that makes me cry because, I know he's a good man... and they did this to him... I hope you can give me insight of what i'm going through its really difficult when you have no one to talk to...

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod2
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod2
    replied
    Thank you for contacting us and telling us your story. We are sorry to hear that you are going through such a difficult time right now and we hope to be able to provide you with some resources. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so anytime you need to talk with someone.

    It sounds like your boyfriend is currently in a pretty intensive rehab program and you are having a hard time with that. It also sounds like you were unaware of his problem when he told you about it and that it was difficult for you. But, it sounds like you two have a really good relationship and that he’s been your support for the past year. Is that how long you have been together?

    We are sorry to hear that you have become so consumed by school and have lost your friends as a result. What is the relationship like with your family?

    Unfortunately, we are unable to tell you what you should do but we are here to provide you with resources and options. In your state, you may not be able to get married without a parent or legal guardians consent. What do you think your legal guardian would say if you were to talk with them about it?

    It sounds like you are worried about getting through the next year while he is in treatment and you are unable to talk to him. How do you think your relationship will be affected if you don’t get to talk with him throughout the year? What sorts of things do you like to do that may be able to help you out?

    Please remember, we are here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to talk with someone. Also, we have chat services that are available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week.

    We wish you the best of luck and look forward to hearing from you.

    ~NRS

    Leave a comment:

  • Guest
    Guest

  • Unregistered
    Guest replied
    I know what it feels like

    hey, I am 16 and I have a boyfriend who is 20 and is going through a intensive rehab program. He has been there for two weeks but it is a 12 to 13 month program. I don't know what to do, he has been my support for a little over a year. I go to high school and college, I'll be a senior in high school this year but I don't know how much longer I can live without him. He is a hydrocodone addict that had a 30 a day 10mg pill habit. I was shocked when he told me about his problem and that he wanted to go to rehab. It's only been two weeks and I am falling apart. I don't have very many friends since my life is consumed with school. But, he is my best friend and the facility he is in doesn't allow visitors that aren't family. Should we get married so I can talk to him, send him mail, and see him? Because without being legally family, I cannot have any sort of contact with him. I just don't know how much more pressure I can take before I crack or how much longer I can live like this. Please somebody, anybody respond. I found you guys on Google and I just need to talk, and I need coping strategies to help me get through this difficult time

    Leave a comment:

  • ccsmod4
    Super Moderator

  • ccsmod4
    replied
    My boyfriend is in rehab

    Originally posted by Unregistered View Post
    first let me say that sucks to hear your boyfriend is in rehab however having actully went and getting out i know that its a good time to see what your forfeiting if you continue doing drugs and it really puts things into perspective if you really wanna help him show him that he cant have you if he keeps doing it and if he really feels the same way for you as you do for him he will try extra hard and when he gets out your gonna get a big im sorry and he is gonna get a big welcome back from you everything will be fine
    Hi,
    Thanks for taking the time to contribute you thoughtful comments to the National Runaway Switchboard's bulletin board.

    Leave a comment:

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