Cheaters.

[Guest]

Uhm. I'm 13. I have currently been dating a boy who was 17. He is turning 18 in a couple weeks. Recently [like a couple of days ago] my boyfriend admitting to cheating on me with his ex girlfriend. It really has hurt alot because we were dating for about Eight months. And I ghuesss him and his Ex were on and off at the same time. I honestly don't know what to do. Also I have been getting into pretty bad things. With drugs and Alcohol. I don't want to keep doing that to hide my problems. Also I'm having troubles at home, like with my grandparents. The recent abuse has really affected me. My grandfather actually through me down the stairs once. I know sometimes I can talk back but can't they think of something logical to do. Also I go to a Catholic school and I am very embarrassed by my actions. I mean I cam the only girl even experimenting in drugs and alcohol and sex. I feel completely disgusting and I need to change. My friends at my school have no clue about what I do. only one of my friends knows. And he is the one that always keeps me up but It's hard to only have one person who your not the closest too. Ever since my best friend moved away I honestly did not know what to do. And even though my classmates have no clue on what I'm doing they still call me a whore and hoe and stuff. Also I'm being called fat and things. Which I try to laugh at with them and make jokes about it but inside it really hurts. I mean honestly I don't think im big it's just because everyone is like 90 pounds and like 100 pounds at my school that I'm fat?


So At first I thought logically like just hide it you know maybe it would go away.
But my pain started to get worse so I looked to poetry to try to help myself.
It didn't help so then I started to cut.
Which was terrible and I hated to do It I felt so depressed.
And Then I finally found some firend but there not the good kind of friends
the type of friends to go out and party with and drink and smoke with
And that helped me alot
Honeslty it did.
But then I messed up one night and had a relationship with my best friends bf.
and that messed everyhting.
See it was because of the drinking and the drugs and everything
Now I'm starting to think runing away would be the best option for me right now.
i mean I have money just not the capablity to get a hotel room or anything like that so I would basicall y be on the streets.
Which were I live it is freezing.
But it is getting to the point where I need another option becusae I need to get away.
So please help me. :I

[ccsmod7]

Re: Cheaters.

Thanks for writing in. It sounds like your dealing with an extremely difficult situation. It’s understandable that you have thought about leaving, especially when it sounds like you have a lot of stress you are dealing with at the moment. Nobody deserves to be called names or treated in the way you have described. You mentioned trying to cope with your feelings in many different ways, many of which seemed to not help so much. You spoke about using drugs and alcohol, and even cutting to relieve some of your emotional pain. How does it make you feel when you use coping skills like drinking or cutting? In the end do you think it helps with the problem? Are there any other things you do that help you deal with difficult situations? Have you been able to talk to anyone about what you have been going through? How have you dealt with the situation involving your boyfriend? Are you still seeing or speaking with him?

You mentioned feeling as if you wanted to leave, and that you feel that may be your best option. Have you ever run away before? You said you had some money, but obviously being thirteen you do not have the means to get a hotel room. Do you have any family or friends you would be able to stay with if you left? Do you think the situations you are dealing with would be improved if you decided to go? Have you thought about any other options besides leaving? Who do you live with, what do you think they would do if you left? How long do you plan on staying away for? This probably seem like a lot of questions, but these are some of the things you may want to think about before deciding whether or not you want to go. If you decided to stay, what would you like to see happen to better the situation you are in? Do you think it would help to open up to someone about your feelings, perhaps a friend, family member, or counselor? If you don’t feel comfortable talking with someone face to face, you could always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are a completely confidential hotline and there is someone here 24 hours a day to help. Whether you just want to vent about the situation, discuss the possibility of running away, or want to look at different options or resources in your area, those are all things that we can try and help with. It’s definitely not an easy situation, but we are here to help, so give us a call anytime. Best of luck with everything.

[Guest]

Re: Cheaters.

Tahnk you so much for saying that uhm I dont know I'm a little afriad to call I mean I dont know hat to say or anything im a little shy and to answer your questions ...

1. How does it make you feel when you use coping skills like drinking or cutting?

Answer: It dosent really make me feel good I mean at the time it does but after it was like oh okay, it dosent really help.

2. Are there any other things you do that help you deal with difficult situations?

Answer: Uhm well i think that I bottle up my emotions, I really dont have anyone that wants to listen.

3. How have you dealt with the situation involving your boyfriend?

Answer: Well I havent really. I just got all my anger out by yelling at him.

4. Are you still seeing or speaking with him?

Answer: Well Not really. Last time he called me he was on pills (drugs) and I told him I iddn't want to talk to him anymore.

5. Have you ever run away before?

Answer: Once but not far. I went like 6 miles away. And I walked and stayed in that city for two days.

6. Do you have any family or friends you would be able to stay with if you left?

Answer: only people I met online.

7. Do you think the situations you are dealing with would be improved if you decided to go?

Answer: Honestly, I dont know. But I think it is worth a shot.

8. Have you thought about any other options besides leaving?

Answer: Yes and none of htem work. This is my best option I belive.

9. Who do you live with, what do you think they would do if you left?

Answer: I live with my grandmother. I dont know what she would do if i left.

10. How long do you plan on staying away for?

Answer: Until I clear my head, or want to go home.

[ccsmod7]

Re: Cheaters.

Thanks for writing in again and being so open about your situation. It sounds like running away is something that you have seriously considered, but it also sounds like your really trying to make an educated decision about whether to leave or not. You mentioned feeling a little nervous to call, which is understandable, but we are hear to help in anyway we can. We aren’t counselors here, but everyone here is trained to take calls dealing with this very situation. As said before we aren’t here to judge you or your situation, or tell you what to do. We are here to listen and help you look at all the different options that are available. It sounds like you have had a lot on your mind and dealing with a lot of difficult situations. And as you said a lot of times you keep feelings in, but it seems you also realize that really isn’t helping. Even if you just want to call in and vent about all the situations your dealing with, the call is completely up to you. If you get a chance to call there is always someone here to listen.

[Guest]

Re: Cheaters.

I want to call I do its jus tthat I just kinda want someone that already knows my situatoin.
Is there any faster ways like Instant Messaging or no?

[ccsmod5]

Re: Cheaters.

Sorry. The only venues we have for communication is the phone (1800-RUNAWAY) or this bulletin message board.

We are very well trained and know what questions to ask...the call shouldn't take a long time. Give it a try if you feel comfortable. We don't judge anyone or assume anything about any situation.

-NRS

[Guest]

Re: Cheaters.

Well can we call just to talk about our problems? Or do we have to call if we are going to runaway?

[ccsmod5]

Re: Cheaters.

Yes. You can call and talk about what you'd like to share. Remember, we're anonymous, confidential and non-judegmental.

-NRS