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21 & Parents won't let me visit boyfriend

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  • ccsmod0
    replied
    re: My parents won't let me see my boyfriend

    Hi there,

    Thanks for reaching out this morning. It sounds like you’re dealing with a lot with your parents right now. It makes a lot of sense that you’re looking for some independence. It can be difficult because you are an adult and you are working on making your own decisions for your life, but your parents aren’t allowing you to do that. That can be really frustrating. It’s smart of you to reach out for some guidance on this. Let’s see how we can help you out.

    So here’s some general legal information. Because you are 18, you are now considered a legal adult. That means you gain the right to decide where you want to live. We tell you this information because it might be helpful. Everyone needs a break once in a while and it seems like you’re at that point now. If you wanted to leave for an afternoon or for a weekend – you have the legal right to do that. Now, thinking through what consequences you would face if you went home might be a good idea too.

    It sounds like there’s a lot of confusion in your home and you’re trying to figure out how to be independent while still living with your parents. Any conflict that comes up between you and your parents might be based in misunderstanding. If you don’t know why they are saying something or why some rule exists, it can be really helpful to ask about it and share your confusion with them. If they don’t know that you’re confused (and if you don’t know that they are confused), then it can be really difficult to get on the same page with things. Communicating calmly and clearly can be a way to make that happen.

    We know that this won’t solve all the issues that you’re facing – but it might begin to help make things better. We hope that this is a helpful start. We’d like to talk more with you about all this and we’re here to support you in any way that we can. If you’d like to talk more, please call or chat with us. You can call us 24 hours a day at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time.

    We look forward to your call or chat.

    Best of luck to you,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My parents won't let me see my boyfriend

    Hi my parents won't let me see my boyfriend and I'm 18 I'm just confused why they won't let me see him .I feel like I'm ready to runaway from home they don't let me get a breather without the am being on my back 24/7 I just need help with my problems

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod1
    replied
    RE: 21& Parents won't let me visit boyfriend

    Hello,

    Thank you for contacting us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are having a hard time with your parents right now. It must be frustrating to be told that you cannot visit your boyfriend. Since you are 21, you are above the age of majority. This means that you are an adult in the eyes of the law, and your parents have no legal right to keep you from going to visit your boyfriend if you buy your own plane ticket. It sounds like you are feeling confused and frustrated by your parent’s behavior. You said that you don’t want to make them mad while you still live under their roof. That must put you in a difficult position. While your parents no longer have a legal right to tell you what to do, you live with them and you are still trying to figure out how your adult relationship with them will work. That sounds very challenging.

    Have you ever tried to tell your parents about how you feel? You said that you were feeling confused by their rules and lack of trust. Maybe it would be helpful if you told them how their behavior and the behavior of your mother’s friend makes you feel. That could open up a conversation about visiting your boyfriend.

    If you would like to talk about this some more, you can always give us a call at 1-800-RUNAWAY, 24/7. You can also reach us through our live chat service between 4:30 and 11:30pm Central Time. The National Runaway Safeline is always anonymous and confidential. We can help you think about ways to start a conversation with your parents and offer you any resources you might need. We are looking forward to talking with you!

    Best of luck,

    NRS

    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic 21 & Parents won't let me visit boyfriend

    21 & Parents won't let me visit boyfriend

    I'm 21 years old and I have a long distance relationship with my boyfriend who is 25 yrs old and he's black & I'm native american and my parents won't let me go visit him. I live in Missouri and he lives in Rochester, NY. I asked last year just before my birthday (before I turned 21) and my mom said no because the plane tickets were to costly at the time and just now I did a lot of price checks and plane tickets are extremely cheap right now. And awhile back my mom said that she doesn't really trust my boyfriend even though he came to visit me twice; first time he stayed in a hotel a few miles down the road, and the second time they trusted him enough to stay at my house in an extra room. So it's really confusing. My boyfriend talked to his friend and his friend's grandma has offered to let me stay at her house as she understands my parents feelings about staying at my boyfriends house which is full of guys, but I know them so it's stupid if my parents think that they're all gonna tie me up and rape me or something stupid like that. And I told them that but then they're like, we don't know them blah blah blah. And me & my boyfriend even said we'd hook my parents up with the grandma on Skype or on a phonecall so they can talk it out, but noooooo. And geez. It's soo confusing. Now that I know that plane tickets are cheap, I feel like I need to go see him like next month because I miss him too much, but I don't even know how the heck to start up a conversation with my parents. I'm 21, so I'm pretty much completely legal, I can do whatever I want really. But at the same time, I don't want to make them mad by just doing whatever I want when I want, because I try to be respectful as I still live under their roof and abide by their rules. And I'm kind of the "good girl" type. I've never done anything bad, never drank, never did drugs or any of that lame stuff, so whats the problemo here? Oh & my mom's annoying friend keeps telling my mom BS stories about how I'm just going to run away or come back pregnant with his baby and I just want to smash her face in for being an ignorant woman. -.-; So any advice on how to ask or convince my parents to let me go see my boyfriend? It's a drag sometimes. T_T
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