Please Help.

[Unregistered]

Hi , I am 15 (turning 16 in august) and my boyfriend is 21. I have known him for a year and we recently started dating in april. My mom soon found out about our relationship and threatened to call the police on him. She said if I am ever seen with him she will call the police. It brakes my heart that I can no longer see him. It hurts me because I have to sacrafice my happiness to keep my mother happy. My boyfriend and I secretly see eachother. one night we were together and he told me lets runnaway and leave everything behind. I deeply love this person but I cannot risk the fact of us getting caught , and him being put behind bars. I dont know what to do because I love him and I want to be with him. I really need help if there is anyway you can please help me...

[ccsmod10]

RE: please help

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out to us during this difficult time. It sounds like you care deeply about your boyfriend and want to be happy but are also concerned with getting him in trouble. Just to let you know, we are not legal experts. However, we can try and explain what we know about the runaway laws. Technically, it is not against the law to run away from home. In most places its considered a status offense. However, anyone that you would be caught staying with could be charged with ‘harboring a runaway’.

Do you think your parents would press charges against him if you were caught with him? If so, have you considered other alternatives? One option would be to look into emancipation or see if they would allow you to be legally separated from your parents. Another option would be to wait until you’re 18 to be together. You could also try talking to your legal guardians about how important this relationship is to you.

Here at the National Runaway Safeline we do not tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. We can however help you explore options and offer any resources that may be of use. We have a large database of resources available to us and would be more than happy to help you come up with a good plan.

We can be reached at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY. We are confidential, anonymous, toll-free and available for you 24/7. We can also be reached by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30pm-11:30pm Central Standard Time. We wish you both the best of luck and hope to hear from you soon!

-NRS

[Unregistered]

I want to talk to my mother about my relationship with him, but if I do I feel like she will suspect that I am secretly texting , calling or seeing him and she might do whatever she can to keep me away. I honestly do not want to runaway. I want to be able to see him and have my mother be okay with it. But its just the age difference that destroys my relationship. She will go on and on about my age and that its not right. But I love this guy. He was there for me when my previous lover passed away in february. My boyfriend and i became more close and decided to start dating. I want to handle this maturely and talk to my mom about this. But just the fact of knowing she will not accept it because he smokes marijuana and drinks. Everyone has a reason why they get into those things. I am no one to judge a person.and neither is she. she just doesnt understand. Is there anyway you can help me to see how I can communicate to her about talking to her about my relationship?

[ccsmod10]

Hello again,

It sounds like you want to communicate with your mother better about your relationship with your boyfriend. What ways have you tried talking to her in the past? It sounds like you fear that she will become judgmental and make it harder for you to see him. It sounds like you have also been dealing with some grief from a previous boyfriend passing away. If you would like to call in, we can try and find you some counseling services.

We do offer a mediation service if you wanted to call us. We can be a non-judgmental third party to help referee this issue with your mother if you wanted to call in and discuss your options. We can be reached at any time at 1-800-RUNAWAY(786-2929) or by live chat at www.1800runaway.org from 4:30-11:30pm CST. We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

I love my boyfriend so much, that I am considering to leave. I am tired of my mother trying to frind every little excuse to argue with me. It just makes me want to leave and leave her in peace to not deal with this crazy teenager. The only reason I havent left is because I just want to make her proud. But I have been saying that for the last couple of years and I just keep dissapointing my mom. I am tired of it, I just want to be with the person who makes me happy and understands me. I know that if we do get caught my mom will press charges. I leaned on alcohol to take my mind off of everything. And I hate it. I just want to let my mom live her life with her boyfriend. I want to be happy and leave with my boyfriend.

[ccsmod4]

Please Help

Hello,
It sounds like you have been going through a very tough time in your relationship with your mom.
We understand how frustrating things can be when communication has broken down between people.
Before you decide to leave can you say that you have made every effort to seek help with these issues between you and your mom?
It sounds like you would like for things to change; you would like to be in a position to make your mom proud of you.
It's hard to live up to someone's expectations sometimes things are different when the individual sets there own plan in motion to be the best person they can to be.
Does that make sense?

It’s very nice that you feel that way it shows you are concerned about how things that affect you may affect your mom and your relationship.

Can you see yourself expressing these feelings to your mom?
It’s not always easy to take that step but you have taken a good first one in contacting NRS.
It can be comforting to have someone in your corner to provide support through difficult times and situations.
It sounds like your boyfriend has been there for you and that hopefully helps you to feel better when you’re down.
It can be very difficult to cope with things and it sounds like that the fact you have turned towards alcohol to try and deal with the situation is now troubling you.

Everyone has things that for one thing or another they may come to regret but it’s very good when a person is willing to admit that they don’t like what's happened and would like to find a better solution to deal with their issues.

The question now becomes what is it that you want to do about it?
As we mentioned before sometimes it might help to seek a third party like a counselor or mediator.
There may even be support groups we can refer you too as well.
Would you consider something like this as an option?

You are always welcome to contact our 24hr toll free crisis line number at 1-800-Runaway.org or our NRS live chat www.1800Runaway.org and talk with one of our crisis liners about your situation.
NRS live chat is available 4:30pm until 11:30pm (CST)

We can go over some options or help you to find resources for counseling etc. in your area.
We really appreciate you taking the time to express your feelings about a very personal matter.
We hope that you continue to show great initiative in striving to find a positive resolution for your situation.

Take Care,
NRS