need answers

[Unregistered]

Our son has not run away. He is 19 years old and we took him to Lansing MI to live with a friend. Everything seemed alright but a little strange. My son is very smart but a not to worldly smart. Too trustworthy with everyone and can be taken advantage by people. He has always contacted his mother about every other day. But he has not contacted her now for 5 days. His friend and him were to move out of the house they were living and to another house with the guys Grandmother. He gave us the address of the house they were moving into and that everything was ok. Since the move thats when we lost contact with him. We tried to call his phone and left him messages and texts. No response. When trying to call it it just goes to answer message, like phone is dead. Not sure if he might not be able to contact do to he lost his phone or charger. He is not the kind of son to not contact his mother if possible.I think the guy he is living is a little shady, not sure but possible. We don't want to involve the law for fear it would upset our son and he would think we were treating him like a child. He has not been in the world alone and lived a pretty protective life. I know we probably sound foolish but we can't help feeling worried. He has a problem with alcohol and drugs. Not hard drugs. He problem is if offered alcohol he drinks to much , way to much. Drugs the same way. We are not saying that this has happened but we are worried. Now for the question--- without involving the law is there a group in that area that a parent can get a hold of to go by the house they have rented to let our son know we have been trying to contact him. That way they could talk to him and we would know he was living there and he was ok. My wife just has this ill feeling in her gut and the last time she felt this way he was in was a mess due to drugs. With luck and God he made it home because he was only a few miles away. Now he is a long way from home. We live in West Virginia. It would really put our minds and hearts at ease if you or anyone had any information or help. Our son has some issues and sometimes does not think straight, especially under any pressure. Please any help would be appreciated. Thank you

[ccsmod3]

Re: need answers

Hello,
We’re glad you decided to reach out to us at the National Runaway Switchboard. It sounds like you’re very concerned for your son and understandably so given all you’ve shared. We aren’t legal experts here, but generally speaking 19 is consider legal adulthood, so it can be harder to get help by local law enforcement or missing children’s organizations. You mentioned without getting the law involved if there is somewhere you can turn to in order to get information. Again, it can be hard once a young person is considered a legal adult to get much information, but if you did want to get law enforcement involved, you could ask if they would do a wellness check.
Something else to mention if you do hear from your son and he wants to return home is that we offer a “Home Free” program. Home Free can often reunite qualifying youth between the ages of 12 and 20 who wish to return home to their family. Just something you might want to keep in mind in case that comes up.

You mentioned your son has a problem with alcohol and drugs which we imagine is hard on all of you. There are a few National resources you might find of help. There is the Alcohol and Drug Helpline: 1-800-821-4357. Another one is Families Anonymous which is a 12-step program that offers support for a variety of issues: 1-800-736-9805. Even if there isn’t a chapter in your area, they offer an online support network.

You are welcome to contact us directly to continue discussing your situation. We can be reached 24/7 by calling in at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST every day. Hope that helps a bit and best of luck! It sounds like you are dedicated parents who want to see your son get back on the right track.

-NRS