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  • I feel so alone....

    So I'm not really sure where to start or how to describe this situation, but this guy I know who I would condiser to be one of my closest friends maybe even best friend recently went to rehab. He is going to be there for at least a year. He had an alcohol addiction and he would pop pills sometimes when he would drink which made him act really crazy. I was only with him once when he got really out of control, but that night was pretty much the breaking point for his parents and they decided to let him choose rehab or getting kicked out of the house. His mom even wanted me to convince him rehab would be good for him. I went over to talk with him probably a week before he went to rehab and I mentioned how it would be really good for him and how I really care about him, but pretty much he made the decision on his own. I kept telling him how proud I am of him, but me and him have a really strange relationship... Sometimes we will be so close and the best of friends and then out of no where he just pushes me away... it really hurts because I honestly love him. He knows I love him too, but he still does what he does... I've known him since I was 17 and I'm 20 now. He's 22, but we have always had such an up and down relationship. I really just want him to see that I've always been there for him no matter what.. He has seriously screwed me over in so many ways, but for some reason I still love him. A few days before he left for rehab we had a heart to heart talk and I was crying telling him exactly how I feel and how I felt from everything he's done and he said sorry and kinda described him self and how he felt, so I really felt like we were closer. Besides the fact that we do have sex sometimes. I kinda feel like he just uses me sometimes, but I can't help it I really love him and I can't get over this attachment for some reason. He will say things to me like, "I'm scared I'll never find someone like you" and stuff pretty much that I wanna hear, but then he will push me away and barely talk to me, and say things like. "you shouldn't feel close to me, it's my fault your even close to me." I hate when he does that because if he never wanted me to feel how I do he shouldn't have started a physical relatonship with me or said certain things to me that make me attached. We connect on such a deep level and are so close, yet I feel like he's just scared of it. Sometimes he will tell me he still loves his ex girlfriend and some times he would say he didn't remember what he was doing cause he was drunk which I know is just an excuse... but pretty much I'm having a really hard time dealing with him being gone. I feel like a part of me is missing, I feel really depressed... If I didn't talk to him before I at least knew I could, but now I can't at all. He is going to the teen challenge program and it's basically strictly family that can talk with him. Before he went we kinda got in an argument and he told me not to talk to his parents... I'm not sure if he just said that to try to push me away again or if they really don't wanna talk to me. Which that almost hurts more cause his parents are so nice and even said they consider me family... I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should say something to them or not, but this is so hard to deal with. He's not my boyfriend, yet the relationship we had was like he was my boyfriend and I love him and this is breaking me. I'm scared after a year he's gonna forget me && think I'm horrible when I've done nothing wrong to him and have always cared and loved him. I'm trying to trust in God and stay positive and know he's in a safe place bettering himself. && I'm trying to better myself. I really am proud of him I just don't know how to deal with this.

  • #2
    I feel so alone

    Hi,
    Thanks for posting on our NRS bulletin board at www.1800runaway.org

    It sounds like you have been through a lot with your friend but it also sounds like your support and caring may have played a role in his trying to get help for his problem.
    You seem to really have his interest in heart and really want him to get better.

    This is what people mean when they talk about having a good support base.
    He is lucky to have someone like you along with his parents to want him to get better.
    While he is trying to get better what have you thought about in regards to helping you cope with your present situation.

    Giving all that you have been through with trying to help him and define yours and his feelings about your relationship you deserve some support of your own.

    Does that make sense?

    Perhaps we here at NRS may be able to assist you with referrals for counseling.
    This could be individual counseling for you or even support base counseling for family or friends dealing with someone going through addiction.

    One referral you might consider is the:

    Alcohol and Drug Helpline

    Hotline: 1-800-821-4357
    Website: www.adhl.org
    Available: 24 hours

    *Provides general information on alcohol and drugs as well as chemical dependency

    *Referrals to treatment programs and support groups nationwide


    We hope you will feel comfortable contacting our NRS crisis line 1-800Runaway (786-2929) and talking about your situation with one of our liners.
    We have a national data base of referrals and would be happy to help you try to find services in your area.

    You can also contact NRS for this information by emailing us at [email protected]
    On our website you can chat with someone from NRS by logging into our Live Chat service available on our website. www.1800runaway.org

    How does that sound?

    We thank you for your post once again and hope that you begin to feel at ease with the situation at hand.

    Take Care,
    NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thanks

      Thank you for responding I understand some of the things you have said. I think counseling would probably help me, but isn't it expensive? I don't have insurance and my family is kinda struggling. I know I need ways to cope with this though and to express my feelings. My biggest fear is that when my friend does come back home he won't be my friend still or even care how much I have helped him over the years. I just don't wanna be forgotten because he is pretty important in my life I'm just not sure if I'm as important, but I also don't want to waste my life away for a year or more or worry or stress so much. How do you care in a positive way that helps you? I don't want to just forget him... I can't talk to him or see him to let him know I care which bothers me the most. I'm too scared to talk to his parents because before he went in to rehab he said not to talk to them. I feel like he said that to try to push me away, but maybe they really don't want anything to do with me. This whole situation just sucks.

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: Thanks

        Thank you so much for writing back and updating us on how you are doing. You are right by saying that this situation sucks and the difficult thing is that there is no easy answer or solution. It sounds like your concern is that your friend is not going to know how much you care about him but also the fact that this is causing you so much stress as well. Letting go can be a really difficult thing but it sounds like you know how much you have helped and cared for him and that’s really important. You’ve mentioned a few time wanting to talk with his parents to see how he is doing. Did you know his parents or family before he went into rehab? Do you feel like even if he said not to speak with them you may still feel comfortable reaching out to them just to get an update?

        It also sounds like the option of counseling came up and that may be a really good resource for you. Most of the resources that we have in our database are either free or sliding scale so we are conscience that sometimes people don’t have a lot of funds for that type of thing. If you would like any further resources for counseling or any other resources remember that you can reach us anytime at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). Our hotline is available 24 hours a day. Also if you feel more comfortable chatting online we do have an online chat that is available through our website, www.1800runaway.org, from 4:30p to 11:30p CST. Please feel free to reach out to us anytime. Take care.
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          I have considered talking with his parents, but for some reason I'm really scared too. I do know them and have a pretty good relationshio with them, but I talked with my friend more than I ever did with them. I just don't want to be rejected by them I guess and I really don't want to hurt anymore than I already do. I constantly think about him and I wish I didn't sometimes because I don't even think he feels the same way I do. Thanks for the help and advice though. I'm really glad I found this site because honestly I don't know anyone else I can really talk this out with. My mom listens, but I fell like she really doesn't truely understand.
          Last edited by ccsmod3; 09-18-2012, 11:51 PM.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I feel so alone....

            Hello again,

            We’re glad you found our website and found it helpful. It sounds like you are considering different options and hope you know we are here to further discuss those if you need additional support. At this point we ask you to contact us directly. If you are not comfortable calling, we encourage you to Live Chat with us any day from 4:30 to 11:30 pm CST. Best of luck on your decisions!

            -NRS
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            [email protected] (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment

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