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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic My friend is being abused.

    My friend is being abused.

    My friend is being abused by her mother and she doesn't want to tell anyone. She told me that she didn't want me to tell. But being a good friend is not telling but doing the right thing is telling. She also said that she doesn't care since it's the first time she has been abused and that she doesn't want her mother taken away. I told her that I'd rather her safe then abused and hurt. I don't know what to do, tell an adult and help her, or watch her come to school hurt?

  • ccsmod2
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello There,
    Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Abuse is never okay and your friend does not deserve to be going through that. You mentioned that your friend is scared to tell anyone, but reporting is always an option. Your friend can always call the police or Child Help to file an abuse report. Child Help can be reached at 1800-422-4453, you would also be able to make an abuse report on her behalf. Also sometimes just being there for your friend as a support system will help, which it seems like you are being supportive of your friend. Another option they could consider is talking to their school counselor about what is going on, their school counselor may be able to provide them with more resources.
    We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend is being abused by her parents, she is afraid to say anything because she doesnt want to get hurt again. What can I do to help her?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod7
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there, thanks for reaching out for your friend. She is lucky to have a caring friend like you during this difficult time. It sounds like you are worried about her safety and you are wanting to tell her mom. That's understandable. If you are ever feeling like she is in immediate danger, you can always reach out to an adult or call 9-1-1. Nothing is more important than her safety, even though it is a possibility that she could be upset with you.

    Abusive relationships can be really difficult to leave for a variety of reasons, so again it is really great that you are by her side while she is going through this. You might give her this website: www.loveisrespect.org. It is a great website that talks about teen dating violence and what her options are while in an abusive relationship. They also have a Teen Dating Hotline: 1-866-331-9474. You might also give her our information: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are here for any youth in crisis, and we can support her and talk through her options as well.

    Please do not hesitate to call or chat us yourself if you would like to have a conversation about the situation. You mentioned being stressed and worried, so it is important to take care of yourself while you are helping her. You can't fill a glass with an empty pitcher, you know? We are always here for you and your friend.

    Thanks again for reaching out. We wish you the best,

    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My Bestfriend is being abused by her boyfriend and I don’t know what to do? I am scared and I want to tell her mom because if something worse happens what am I supposed to do. She will hate me if I tell her mom but I’m so worried and I’m stressing myself out about it.

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  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to us and letting us know what's going on. It sounds like your friend is going through a lot and is lucky to have a supporter like you in their life. Of course, we recommend that your friend contact us directly to talk about what's going on, but we're more than happy to talk to you to brainstorm options that can best be of help to your friend. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you and your friend in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have a friend who lives across the country from me who is living in a very dangerous situation. Because I'm so far away, I can't do much to help physically, but for the past year or so I have been supporting him emotionally and providing him with resources and a listening ear to help him figure out how to escape his situation on his own in a realistic and safe way. Now that he's turned 18, and he doesn't have to worry about legal backlash for trying to escape, I wanted to ask if it would be alright if I used the NRS call or chat service on his behalf to try and find some immediate resources for him in his area, and to help give him a better idea of the kind of assistance he can expect to get if he were to reach out himself. The only reason I think this might be necessary is that he has essentially no privacy at home whatsoever, and is under almost constant physical AND digital surveillance. I wanted to try and ease his worries about potentially being caught trying to reach out, which would be very dangerous for him if it happened.

    How could I go about doing this?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: My girlfriend from a few states away

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them.
    It’s great that your friend has your support and concern, especially since this time is probably quite difficult for them.
    Being abused is not the fault of your friend. They don’t deserve to have this happen to them.
    There are laws to protect minors against abuse. If things do escalate and your friend would like to file an abuse report they may do so by contacting Child Help USA at: 1-800-422-4453

    NRS can also assist with filing a child abuse report and assist with trying to locate a safe emergency shelter. We can also assist with trying to locate family crisis counseling services through our data base. Showing your friend support by reaching out to NRS says a lot about your character. They are lucky to have you as a friend.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.

    We are here as support to help both you and your friend through this challenging time.
    We can best help by phone or chat. If you or your friend would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you or your friend soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us





    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My girlfriend from a few states away is being abused by her dad, both verbally and physically. She says that he isn’t that way while he’s taking his medicine, but he refuses to take his meds. She tells me every day now, usually multiple times a day that she has gotten hit because he got mad at her. It seems to be getting way worse as days go on, it went from a few times a week to every day, now to multiple times a day. I have their address, but I’m scared because she’s afraid she would get put in the system (again). Her dad is the only one with custody of her. She said that her step mom tries to get into it and help, but it just hurts both of them. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want her to be unsafe and abused either.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 02-26-2019, 12:25 AM.

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things with your boyfriend right now and you mentioned him being harmed. We’re sorry he is going through this. He doesn't deserve to be hurt in any way. If he is at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you or him to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone he trust as far as transferring custody.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time with your boyfriend
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is being abused by his father, he hits him with wires and cable, etc. all the time. He has scars up and down his side of his stomach and recently had to get stitches because one cut was so bad and it wouldn't stop bleeding. He doesn't want me to tell anyone but it needs to stop and I'm not sure what else to do. He has two other siblings which are both younger (one boy and one girl) and he is afraid that his dad will hit his little brother too. What do I do??

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to being scared to come home from school. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    We know that you have made reports in the past but we want you both to know that there is not a limit on how many abuse reports someone can make. Additionally we do not want you to give up hope in the system. Justice for Children’s Call Center helps when the child protection system fails to protect a child. They offer information, guidance and assistance to adults who are trying to keep the child safe.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Again, it is wonderful that you are taking the time to help these youth. It sounds like they could really us a good adult on their side. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I live right next to a house of my best friends. I have known them for five years. The oldest is a boy named Diego he is 12, he gets verbally abused way to much which causes him to yell and scream at his younger siblings, I have seen him get smacked across the face about 30 times. Once with a belt. While she is yelling at him he just stands there with tears n his eyes and there is nothing I can do. He's so sweet and kind it kills me to watch him get hurt. Diego has also been scared to come home from school before. Alan is 10 he gets verbally abused the least. But he has bruises all the time. Once she hit him across the face with a wooden spoon. Elli Is the step daughter of the mother who abuses them. She has no legal right to hit her. Elli has the same dad as all of them but has a different mom who she rarely gets to see. The mother has anger issues and hates elli. Behind the dads back the mother abuses her to. The dad knows the mother hits them but not all the rest of the stuff, I think he can't do anything about it because if he left they would all be stuck with her. A few days ago elli came to my house and asked if she could stay the night. I said yes. Something was different about elli, I mean she always get s yelled at but it was something worse. She told me that a few days ago her step mother choked her. I could not believe what I heard. She told me to promise I would not tell anyone, it was hard for me to make that promise. But I broke it soon after. Massiel Is 6 years old she is cute and small. She gets hit the most usually the mother pulls her hair and smacks her. One time she hit her in the head with a Tv remote and her eye was bleeding for a couple days. Then someone noticed at a store and massiel said my mom hit me with a remote. And the mother quickly jumped up and said no she fell and then pulled the girl and us out of the store quickly. Massiel is only 6 and she is the only one in that house who stands up To her Mother. She yells Stop MOM! Its not right! One time when the mother was hurting one of her siblings massiel hit her mom in the back to make her stop. Of course it did not hurt she was only 6. But after that the girl was grounded for a week. Julie is the youngest she is 4 she is often giggling and running around the house being loud and when her mom gets sick of it she slaps her. The mother is sometimes nice to all the kids but not for long. She is nicest to Julie though. Diego has been my friend since I was eight I am 12 now. Elli has been my friend since I was 9. Elli often spends the night at my house. After she told be what the mom did. I promised her. I promised her I would not tell anyone. I could not stop thinking about it. I called her dad and said that the mother did something and that he needs to talk to elli. Finally I said to myself. "You promised her you would not tell, but what if this happened again, I said if I want to be a good friend I should get her help. So I did. I grabbed my phone and I called CPS. CPS has been called lot of times the other neighbors have seen bruises but when they come they can't do anything because kids get bruises a lot. But This time when I called, I told them everything. The whole story. You have only read about 3/4 of the story. They said they would put the report in. Then I realized they believed me. Im writing this right after I called. I had to get this off my chest. but The only reason they believed me I because they thought I was an adult. AND THAT SUCKS. If they would have knew I was a kid they would not have believed me. I think that is wrong. Why can't you believe kids they are our next generation aren't they? We are!
    I am going to make this right. If you have a friend who needs Help but tells you not to tell anyone. Its better to Be SAFE than Sorry. I called you can to. I hope this works out. I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I want my voice to be heard. Please understand If Anyone needs help
    Last edited by ccsmod0; 02-04-2019, 10:42 AM.

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your friend’s safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, they have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option your friend wants to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied

    my friend told me he is being abused by his mother. And apparently it has been happening for a while. His father has also never been there for him his entire life. He gets suicidal thoughts and I am very worried. He doesn’t want to do anything because he doesn’t want to hurt his mom and he is also afraid his mom would abuse him more if she found out that he told an adult. I am very concerned and I just want the best for him. I don’t know what to do and I am worried that if things keep getting worse, he might commit. Please help me I don’t know what to do to help him.

    Leave a comment:

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