Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My friend is being abused.

Collapse
X
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest started a topic My friend is being abused.

    My friend is being abused.

    My friend is being abused by her mother and she doesn't want to tell anyone. She told me that she didn't want me to tell. But being a good friend is not telling but doing the right thing is telling. She also said that she doesn't care since it's the first time she has been abused and that she doesn't want her mother taken away. I told her that I'd rather her safe then abused and hurt. I don't know what to do, tell an adult and help her, or watch her come to school hurt?

  • ccsmod1
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hey there,

    Thanks so much for reaching out to us and letting us know what's going on. It sounds like your friend is going through a lot and is lucky to have a supporter like you in their life. Of course, we recommend that your friend contact us directly to talk about what's going on, but we're more than happy to talk to you to brainstorm options that can best be of help to your friend. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you and your friend in any way we can.

    All the best,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have a friend who lives across the country from me who is living in a very dangerous situation. Because I'm so far away, I can't do much to help physically, but for the past year or so I have been supporting him emotionally and providing him with resources and a listening ear to help him figure out how to escape his situation on his own in a realistic and safe way. Now that he's turned 18, and he doesn't have to worry about legal backlash for trying to escape, I wanted to ask if it would be alright if I used the NRS call or chat service on his behalf to try and find some immediate resources for him in his area, and to help give him a better idea of the kind of assistance he can expect to get if he were to reach out himself. The only reason I think this might be necessary is that he has essentially no privacy at home whatsoever, and is under almost constant physical AND digital surveillance. I wanted to try and ease his worries about potentially being caught trying to reach out, which would be very dangerous for him if it happened.

    How could I go about doing this?

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod4
    replied
    Reply: My girlfriend from a few states away

    Hello,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline.

    We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on.
    It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them.
    It’s great that your friend has your support and concern, especially since this time is probably quite difficult for them.
    Being abused is not the fault of your friend. They don’t deserve to have this happen to them.
    There are laws to protect minors against abuse. If things do escalate and your friend would like to file an abuse report they may do so by contacting Child Help USA at: 1-800-422-4453

    NRS can also assist with filing a child abuse report and assist with trying to locate a safe emergency shelter. We can also assist with trying to locate family crisis counseling services through our data base. Showing your friend support by reaching out to NRS says a lot about your character. They are lucky to have you as a friend.
    NRS is here to listen and here to help.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of.

    We are here as support to help both you and your friend through this challenging time.
    We can best help by phone or chat. If you or your friend would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

    We hope to hear from you or your friend soon.

    Take care,
    NRS

    We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: Your Opinion Matters to Us





    Leave a comment:


  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My girlfriend from a few states away is being abused by her dad, both verbally and physically. She says that he isn’t that way while he’s taking his medicine, but he refuses to take his meds. She tells me every day now, usually multiple times a day that she has gotten hit because he got mad at her. It seems to be getting way worse as days go on, it went from a few times a week to every day, now to multiple times a day. I have their address, but I’m scared because she’s afraid she would get put in the system (again). Her dad is the only one with custody of her. She said that her step mom tries to get into it and help, but it just hurts both of them. I don’t know what to do because I don’t want to lose her but I don’t want her to be unsafe and abused either.
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 02-26-2019, 12:25 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It sounds like you’re quite overwhelmed by things with your boyfriend right now and you mentioned him being harmed. We’re sorry he is going through this. He doesn't deserve to be hurt in any way. If he is at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you or him to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately. You may also be able to report any mistreatment to CPS. Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps protect minors from being harmed. It may also be a good place to explore options for staying with another family member or someone he trust as far as transferring custody.
    Often, having a safe space to share how you’re feeling may bring a variety of solutions previously not thought of. You are not alone in this. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time with your boyfriend
    If you would like to talk more in detail please chat soon through our website www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button) if you are unable to call in. We unfortunately cannot give advice as we are non-directive. You know your situation best
    We hope to hear from you soon.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is being abused by his father, he hits him with wires and cable, etc. all the time. He has scars up and down his side of his stomach and recently had to get stitches because one cut was so bad and it wouldn't stop bleeding. He doesn't want me to tell anyone but it needs to stop and I'm not sure what else to do. He has two other siblings which are both younger (one boy and one girl) and he is afraid that his dad will hit his little brother too. What do I do??

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to being scared to come home from school. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    We know that you have made reports in the past but we want you both to know that there is not a limit on how many abuse reports someone can make. Additionally we do not want you to give up hope in the system. Justice for Children’s Call Center helps when the child protection system fails to protect a child. They offer information, guidance and assistance to adults who are trying to keep the child safe.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Again, it is wonderful that you are taking the time to help these youth. It sounds like they could really us a good adult on their side. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I live right next to a house of my best friends. I have known them for five years. The oldest is a boy named Diego he is 12, he gets verbally abused way to much which causes him to yell and scream at his younger siblings, I have seen him get smacked across the face about 30 times. Once with a belt. While she is yelling at him he just stands there with tears n his eyes and there is nothing I can do. He's so sweet and kind it kills me to watch him get hurt. Diego has also been scared to come home from school before. Alan is 10 he gets verbally abused the least. But he has bruises all the time. Once she hit him across the face with a wooden spoon. Elli Is the step daughter of the mother who abuses them. She has no legal right to hit her. Elli has the same dad as all of them but has a different mom who she rarely gets to see. The mother has anger issues and hates elli. Behind the dads back the mother abuses her to. The dad knows the mother hits them but not all the rest of the stuff, I think he can't do anything about it because if he left they would all be stuck with her. A few days ago elli came to my house and asked if she could stay the night. I said yes. Something was different about elli, I mean she always get s yelled at but it was something worse. She told me that a few days ago her step mother choked her. I could not believe what I heard. She told me to promise I would not tell anyone, it was hard for me to make that promise. But I broke it soon after. Massiel Is 6 years old she is cute and small. She gets hit the most usually the mother pulls her hair and smacks her. One time she hit her in the head with a Tv remote and her eye was bleeding for a couple days. Then someone noticed at a store and massiel said my mom hit me with a remote. And the mother quickly jumped up and said no she fell and then pulled the girl and us out of the store quickly. Massiel is only 6 and she is the only one in that house who stands up To her Mother. She yells Stop MOM! Its not right! One time when the mother was hurting one of her siblings massiel hit her mom in the back to make her stop. Of course it did not hurt she was only 6. But after that the girl was grounded for a week. Julie is the youngest she is 4 she is often giggling and running around the house being loud and when her mom gets sick of it she slaps her. The mother is sometimes nice to all the kids but not for long. She is nicest to Julie though. Diego has been my friend since I was eight I am 12 now. Elli has been my friend since I was 9. Elli often spends the night at my house. After she told be what the mom did. I promised her. I promised her I would not tell anyone. I could not stop thinking about it. I called her dad and said that the mother did something and that he needs to talk to elli. Finally I said to myself. "You promised her you would not tell, but what if this happened again, I said if I want to be a good friend I should get her help. So I did. I grabbed my phone and I called CPS. CPS has been called lot of times the other neighbors have seen bruises but when they come they can't do anything because kids get bruises a lot. But This time when I called, I told them everything. The whole story. You have only read about 3/4 of the story. They said they would put the report in. Then I realized they believed me. Im writing this right after I called. I had to get this off my chest. but The only reason they believed me I because they thought I was an adult. AND THAT SUCKS. If they would have knew I was a kid they would not have believed me. I think that is wrong. Why can't you believe kids they are our next generation aren't they? We are!
    I am going to make this right. If you have a friend who needs Help but tells you not to tell anyone. Its better to Be SAFE than Sorry. I called you can to. I hope this works out. I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I want my voice to be heard. Please understand If Anyone needs help
    Last edited by ccsmod0; 02-04-2019, 10:42 AM.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your friend’s safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, they have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option your friend wants to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied

    my friend told me he is being abused by his mother. And apparently it has been happening for a while. His father has also never been there for him his entire life. He gets suicidal thoughts and I am very worried. He doesn’t want to do anything because he doesn’t want to hurt his mom and he is also afraid his mom would abuse him more if she found out that he told an adult. I am very concerned and I just want the best for him. I don’t know what to do and I am worried that if things keep getting worse, he might commit. Please help me I don’t know what to do to help him.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned all the abuse they are going through. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend and her mother are both getting abused by her alcoholic father. She doesn’t want to get help because her mom doesn’t want her too. I really want to tell and get help but I also don’t want to go behind her back and say something. Please help me I don’t want her to get hurt anymore.

    Leave a comment:


  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there –

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. No one should be abused in any way. In regards to the abuse taking place, it’s great that you were able to reach out to CPS in order to try to report what was going on. It’s just unfortunate that they didn’t show up to check things out when they said that they were going to. Of course, the decision of whether or not he would be removed from his parents care falls on the shoulders of a CPS case worker, so they would need to be involved. After a report is made, they will decided if there is enough information to do an investigation where they will go to the house and see what is going on. Unfortunately, depending on the type of abuse, it would be harder to see and prove so it might come done to whether or not you have any evidence so support your case. If they don’t think there is abuse, they might recommend some counseling services or general family mediation. So if you want to follow up with them to just check in with the statues of the report, that mind be the best way to figure out what’s going on.

    One thing that may be helpful for him is to possibly note when the fighting/yelling is happening or any triggers of the fighting/yelling (some examples would be like after his abuser comes from work or after dinner and/or right when he gets home) and to try to find things that can keep himself away from home during those times (after school programs, sports program, study group at a friend’s house, getting involved in volunteering, etc). If he ends up leaving home, he’ll want to make sure that he is staying safe either going to a local youth shelter or even a friend’s house. Just note that if he chooses to run, his parents does have the right to file a runaway report with the police and if caught he would be returned home to their care again.

    Again you’re thanks for writing in. There is someone also willing to listen to you here if you want to reach out. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friends dad is abusing him and taking his phone and the only way I have contact with him is through school but another friend gave him a phone and his dad is really abusive. We called CPS and they said they would be at the house but they weren't there the day they said and it is getting worse like his dad wont let him sit at the dinner table to eat with the rest of the family \. I want to adopt him I just can't get through to CPS please help us.

    Leave a comment:

Previously entered content was automatically saved. Restore or Discard.
Auto-Saved
x
Insert: Thumbnail Small Medium Large Fullsize Remove  
x
x
Working...
X