My friend is being abused.

[Guest]

I have a friend who lives across the country from me who is living in a very dangerous situation. Because I'm so far away, I can't do much to help physically, but for the past year or so I have been supporting him emotionally and providing him with resources and a listening ear to help him figure out how to escape his situation on his own in a realistic and safe way. Now that he's turned 18, and he doesn't have to worry about legal backlash for trying to escape, I wanted to ask if it would be alright if I used the NRS call or chat service on his behalf to try and find some immediate resources for him in his area, and to help give him a better idea of the kind of assistance he can expect to get if he were to reach out himself. The only reason I think this might be necessary is that he has essentially no privacy at home whatsoever, and is under almost constant physical AND digital surveillance. I wanted to try and ease his worries about potentially being caught trying to reach out, which would be very dangerous for him if it happened.

How could I go about doing this?

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thanks so much for reaching out to us and letting us know what's going on. It sounds like your friend is going through a lot and is lucky to have a supporter like you in their life. Of course, we recommend that your friend contact us directly to talk about what's going on, but we're more than happy to talk to you to brainstorm options that can best be of help to your friend. If you’d like to go over what’s going on in depth, please don’t hesitate to call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY. You can also chat us by clicking on the “CHAT” button on top of our homepage. We’re open 24/7 and here to listen and support you and your friend in any way we can.

All the best,
NRS

[Guest]

My Bestfriend is being abused by her boyfriend and I don’t know what to do? I am scared and I want to tell her mom because if something worse happens what am I supposed to do. She will hate me if I tell her mom but I’m so worried and I’m stressing myself out about it.

[ccsmod7]

Hi there, thanks for reaching out for your friend. She is lucky to have a caring friend like you during this difficult time. It sounds like you are worried about her safety and you are wanting to tell her mom. That's understandable. If you are ever feeling like she is in immediate danger, you can always reach out to an adult or call 9-1-1. Nothing is more important than her safety, even though it is a possibility that she could be upset with you.

Abusive relationships can be really difficult to leave for a variety of reasons, so again it is really great that you are by her side while she is going through this. You might give her this website: www.loveisrespect.org. It is a great website that talks about teen dating violence and what her options are while in an abusive relationship. They also have a Teen Dating Hotline: 1-866-331-9474. You might also give her our information: 1-800-RUNAWAY; www.1800runaway.org. We are here for any youth in crisis, and we can support her and talk through her options as well.

Please do not hesitate to call or chat us yourself if you would like to have a conversation about the situation. You mentioned being stressed and worried, so it is important to take care of yourself while you are helping her. You can't fill a glass with an empty pitcher, you know? We are always here for you and your friend.

Thanks again for reaching out. We wish you the best,

NRS

[Guest]

My friend is being abused by her parents, she is afraid to say anything because she doesnt want to get hurt again. What can I do to help her?

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for contacting The National Runaway Safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Abuse is never okay and your friend does not deserve to be going through that. You mentioned that your friend is scared to tell anyone, but reporting is always an option. Your friend can always call the police or Child Help to file an abuse report. Child Help can be reached at 1800-422-4453, you would also be able to make an abuse report on her behalf. Also sometimes just being there for your friend as a support system will help, which it seems like you are being supportive of your friend. Another option they could consider is talking to their school counselor about what is going on, their school counselor may be able to provide them with more resources.
We hope this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We are here 24/7 to listen and to provide support. We wish you the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

My friend in another state is being abused by her mother. She can't call Child Protective services and she can't even go to school. what can I do to help her?

[ccsmod9]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. We want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. From what we gather about your situation it might be best to contact to the police and tell them that you are afraid of your friend’s wellbeing and would like someone to investigate the household. Again the youth can reach out as well to us and we can help report whatever is going on. If they would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please tell them to call or chat soon.
Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
We hope to hear from you soon.
Be safe, NRS

[Guest]

My boyfriend is being abused by his dad. We just recently went to our principal, and he got the local police involved. But the police believed his dad because he seemed like a really nice guy and there wasn't enough evidence, so now they think it's safe for him to go home. I know that it's not safe, and I'm really scared that he's going to get hurt even more now, but no one will listen to me. What should I do?

[ccsmod13]

Hello, thank you for reaching out to NRS for help.

Asking for help is a really good first step. It sounds like you are trying your best to be supportive of your boyfriend and you care about him a lot. His safety is very important and it sounds like home has not been safe for him. Going to your school principal was a very smart and responsible thing to. It must have been frustrating to have the police decide that his dad was not abusive when you and your boyfriend know better. Unfortunately it can take more than one report sometimes to have child protective services intervene in a situation. Often not having "evidence" can lead police to not investigate further. If there is physical abuse going on at home, it can be helpful to have your boyfriend take pictures of any marks or bruises that result from his dad's abusive behaviors. These can be included in a second report as evidence. If your boyfriend would like try to make another report, he can contact the national child abuse hotline for help at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelp.org

Support systems are really important in these types of situation in regards to witnesses to the abuse and adults who can help your boyfriend. He can try reaching out to any other family members, your parents, or a school guidance counselor. They might be able to help with the reporting process or offer a safe space for your boyfriend should he need somewhere to stay or just someone to talk to.

We are also available 24/7 and can best be of help by phone or chat. You and your boyfriend are welcome to reach out anytime at 1-800-786-2929 or at 1800runaway.org.

[Guest]

Hey, I’m seeking help because I don’t know what to do, my friend says her mam hits her once a day over things she doesn’t do and she gets told off and hit for it. She said on a group chat on snapchat that she gets hit by her mam once a day and I said she needs to report it but then everyone said it would just make things worse for her because reporting it doesn’t do anything and it would just make her mam even more angry, one of my friends went through the same thing and she went through care and she said it’s useless and it doesn’t make anything better and they said that’s it’s the worse idea reporting it but I’m worried about my friend please help

[ccsmod1]

Hey there,

Thank you so much for reaching out, we know that it takes a lot of courage to do so. Your friend does not deserve to be abused and her mom's behavior is unacceptable. You are a really good friend for working so hard to ensure that your friend is safe. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws and child abuse reporting is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.

We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

Be safe,
NRS

[Guest]

My friend that I met five years ago on a game is being abused. We have each other’s Snapchat and she would tell me that she gets abused by her mom a lot. She said that her mom elbowed her in the face and was cussing her out for an hour and yesterday was her birthday and she didn’t get anything. Her mom told her she didn’t care about her and she was born to ruin her life. She also has made suicide notes last year and today she just told me she should’ve actually killed herself last year. I don’t know how to make her feel better because I don’t know her in real life, and I know she’s telling the truth because she would call me and she would sound like she’s crying and she would also send snaps of herself crying too.

[ccsmod7]

Thanks so much for reaching out.

It sounds like you care about your friend a lot. Suicide can be a very intense thing to deal with, especially by yourself. If you even think that your friend may harm themselves you can always call law enforcement to make sure she is okay at 911. They would take her to the hospital for services. You can also connect her with the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-8255. Dealing with abuse is a very hard thing and you can always connect her with the Child Help hotline for national child abuse at 1-800-422-4453.

She can also always reach out to us here at National runaway Safeline at 1-800-786-2926. We are 24/7, confidential, non-judgmental, non-directive and we will do our best to help in anyway we can.

[Guest]

abuse or discipline?

My mom whips me with a switch and leaves bruises on my legs back and hands.she also
Slaps my face.she calls me names.

That is so wrong I am so sorry

[ccsmod15]

Thanks for chiming in and being so supportive! If you or anyone you know is experiencing abuse or just need someone to talk to, don't hesitate to give us a call at 1-800-786-2929. Someone is always here to listen and to help. For information and guidance on child abuse reporting, you can contact Child Help at 1-800-422-4453.

[Guest]

I dont know how I can help.

One of my closest friends seems to have been abused by her dad when he would get angry (i.e pushing her against a cupboard, putting his hands around her neck). She says that he doesn't do this often and not to tell anyone but I feel that I need to do something. Her dad is starting to isolate her from friends and classmates and she lost privileges to her phone (i transferred to a different school) so I only see her every 4-5 months. I'm getting really worried as I saw her recently and he's starting to emotionally abuse her (screaming and yelling over a slightly lower grade, sitting at the wrong spot etc). However, he acts very innocent and social around others and comes off as a really great guy. He also has a lot of connections and is a very religious person who can use that as a shield. I don't know if maybe I'm exaggerating the situation and it would be better to not report him, but I feel I must do something to help so that she can feel safer. I would love if you could give me some advice.

[ccsmod4]

Hi there,
Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned being abused. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them. She does not deserve to be abused by her father or anyone. It is not her fault that he is doing this. And you are right in being concerned for her. You might consider giving her the number to NRS 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) in case she would like to speak with someone here about her situation and explore options as to where she might get help. We also have live chat available via our website www.1800runaway.org

Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time.
The fact that she told you about what has been happening leaves very little room for exaggeration.
Sometimes it helps just having a listening ear and it sounds like you have been there for support to her.
She probably appreciates having friendship during this troubled time.
If you would like to speak more about your friend and her situation, please feel free to reach out to NRS.

We are here to help and here to listen.
To report abuse she can go to a teacher, counselor or social worker at school. They are mandated reporters and can walk her through the steps to becoming safe.
Another option to report is to contact Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org
We hope this information is helpful.

Take care,
NRS

[Guest]

I suspect me friend with very strict parents is being mentally abused by her parents. She has said that her dad has called her things like whore and slutty even though she is just thirteen. She is not allowed access to the outside world. No phone, no drawing, no hanging out in her room, no computers or any thing else she enjoys because her grades went down and I’m concern for her as she makes suicidal jokes all the time and I’m concerned that she might through with it some times. I don’t know what to do I’m thirteen and I’ve told my mom and she just blew it off saying that she must of done something wrong and that since she hasn’t been physically hurt she’s fine. What should I do I’m very concerned.

[ccsmod2]

Hello There,
Thank you for reaching out to The National Runaway safeline, we are here to help and here to listen. Wow it seems like your friend is going through a difficult time right now, she does not deserve to be mentally abused. It is understandable that you are concerned and it shows that you are a supportive friend.
One option you can consider doing is speaking with a school counselor about this, they may be able to tell you what to do or give you resources. If you are concerned about your friend’s safety you can always call the police and ask them to do a wellness check. Usually for a wellness check the police will go to your friend’s home and see if everything is okay.
Sometimes just being there for support for your friend is a great thing. You or her can always contact The National Suicide Prevention Hotline at: 1800-273-8255. Also if your friend would like to make a report she can call Child help at : 1800-422-4453.
We hope that this information will be helpful to you in your situation. If you have any other questions or would like to explore more options please give us a call. We wish your friend the best of luck!
NRS

[Guest]

My friend is being abused by his father, he won't tell any adult about it, he only, told me. I'm scared his father might end up killing him. What should I do? I went to my school councilor but he needs proof.

[ccsmod13]

Hi there,

Thank you for reaching out on behalf of your friend. He is very lucky to have such a concerned and supportive friend. Going to your school counselor was a really brave step to take and we are sorry to hear they did not take any action. If you are concerned that your friend is in immediate danger you can call 911 for emergency services.

Any adult who works at your school including teachers and your counselor are most likely mandated reporters. This means that if they suspect a student is being harmed or abused by a parent, they are legally obligated to report it. You can try to talk to your counselor again or a teacher to ask what is needed to trigger their mandated reporting duty. This might also encourage them to talk more with your friend so that he can get help.

There is an organization called Child Help which advocates for young people in abusive and unsafe living situations. The might be able to make a report to child protective services for your friend and talk more with you about strategies for having a trusted adult intervene. You can contact them at 1-800-422-4453 or go to childhelp.org.

We truly want to be a support for you as you decide on your next steps. We are available 24/7 to listen and help as much as possible. Please do not hesitate to reach out again by phone or chat if you would like to talk more in-depth about your situation and explore your options. You can contact us by phone at 1-800-786-2929 or use our live chat services at www.1800runaway.org.

Good luck,
NRS