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My friend is being abused.

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  • #46
    My girlfriend (long distance) is being emotionally, verbally and often physically abused by her mother. Her brother is also against her and gets her in trouble when he doesn't get what he wants. Her father isn't home a lot and doesn't take care of the family much, or at least that is what I got. She can't go and live with any relatives, because her mom is threatening that everything will be taken away from er if she does so. She doesn't have much friends, and she can't visit them or hang out with either because she will get grounded. She told me she's telling people about it but nobody's helping, and when she called child protection services, her mother pretended to be a 'grieving parent' because of her husband and they believed her. I really want to help my girlfriend, but I'm finding this a dead end. What is there to do? Please help.

    Comment


    • ccsmod2
      ccsmod2 commented
      Editing a comment
      Thank you for reaching out to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your girlfriend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help her. You mentioned that she is being abused at home. Abuse is never okay, and she doesn't deserve to be treated that way. If she feels as though she is in immediate danger, we encourage her to contact the police. Child Help is the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453) it is a great resource for her to explore her options and get information on how to transfer custody. We are very sorry to hear that Child Protective Services and other people have failed to help her. Please feel free to contact us directly via our 24 hour crisis hotline (1-800-786-2929), email, or live chat.


      We hope this response was helpful! We’d love to hear from you about your experience using our crisis email/forum. Your feedback plays an important role in helping us improve our services to youth and families. Please click the link to fill out our survey: We care what you think

  • #47
    I need help to know if my friends is being abused by her dad so I went over my friends house and it was like 8:00 and we were just in her room chilling and her dad comes in and says to her can I talk to you and she looks sacred when he said that, and when they were talking I heard a smacking noise and then next thing you know when she comes back she had a mark on h r face. IS THAT ABUSE??

    Comment


    • ccsmod5
      ccsmod5 commented
      Editing a comment
      Hi, there,
      Thank you for reaching out and trying to support your friend. She is lucky to have a friend like you. We are not experts in abuse and the term “abuse” can be complex to define. If you would like more information on what does and does not qualify as abuse, you can call the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-422-4453 or use their chat feature on their website childhelp.org.
      --NRS

  • #48
    Hi, so I've been getting verbally abused for a while from my Mother and we aren't close at all. I told her I wanted to run away and jump off a bridge or drown, to kill myself. But she hasn't done anything, I've been seeing a therapist since she's seen my cuts. (I cut in 2014. I don't now cause I'm scared of my mother will yell at me again.), I started seeing my therapist in 2014. But, everything is so so so much worse now, and I get yelled at more now, its not normal for my mother to swear at me is it?... I'm so scared of even breathing wrongly because I'll upset her and so much more. We don't get a long AT ALL, my Dad often says I have my mothers bad temper so when I have my temper and she has her temper she fights. I just want to pick up the siccors and start cutting, I was thinking on my ankle since that's one place I used to do it for a while when I was hiding it. But that was a long time ago, I thought about picking up the habbit again because I don't know what else to do. I know I'm ********ing ugly and can't change it, cause I don't think there's a way to change it, I hate when people call me a boy and 'Sir' because I'm NOT. But because of my jaw and my face etc, they think I am. I just want to run away, buy some sleeping pills and jump in a river somewhere. That's only if I can't get adopted into a family who's okay with my sexuality (I'm a girl who likes girls. I don't like the term used for it.) I want to change my name because the name I have I hate it, my mother gave it to me after all, I want to be welcomed into a family who doesn't make me feel like ********, and who will help me with my poor eating habits, and who won't make me feel bad for packing a lunch, or start eating again (I lost a lot of wait, not bad though. Its why I wear sweaters most of the time.) who won't make me feel like ******** for wanting to be alone with myself, and stuff like that. There has to be something I can do?... I'm going to go talk to my school consular and my English teacher about these issues soon, but I'm scared my Mum will yell at me again and swear because I talked to people about this... What do I do?... (I live in Canada, Alberta.)

    Comment


    • #49
      Hi there,

      It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help.
      The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. Since you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: http://www.childhelplineinternationa...where-we-work/
      We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.

      NRS
      Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

      National Runaway Safeline
      info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
      1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

      Tell us what you think about your experience!
      https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

      Comment


      • #50
        My boyfriend is trans (female wanting to be male) he hasn’t told many people other than his family and me. We are both teenagers and have kept our relationship fairly secret from our families since they would not accept that I a female is dating a trans female.But he is being denied water and food if he gets in trouble. He usually will eat only 1 meal a days and one tiny cup of water, he has told me that he will occasionally sneak water from the faucet, but will then be cursed and sworn at by his mother and denied food and water. He has also been told to stand outside in 112 F degree heat for an hour for his so called “crimes” witch consist of talking back, eating to much food, drinking to much water, or not waking up at 5:00 am. Speaking of sleep he is only aloud 3-4 hours of sleep each night because he must do chores and take care of his siblings. I honestly don’t no what to do and am getting seriously worried he might commit suicide if som thing doesn’t happen. The only contact I have with him is Instagram since it is summer and his mom dose not allow him to socialize. But I cant tell my parents because they would find out we are in realtionship and probably disown me. The only other plan that we have is to run away to somewhere safer.

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Thank you for reaching out to us. It is clear you are concerned for your boyfriend’s safety and it takes a lot of bravery and maturity to seek help. It sounds like your boyfriend is enduring extreme abuse and neglect at the hands of his parent. Being denied basic needs, like food, water and sleep is never okay. This must be incredibly destructive to him, and overwhelming and scary for you. In addition, the lack of support from your parents must make you feel very hurt and alone.
          We feel it important to first address the extreme forms of abuse and potential suicide mentioned in your post. Since no one should ever be treated like your boyfriend is treated at home, he has the option to file an abuse report. This can be done either by calling our Hotline at 1(800) RUN-AWAY or by calling Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1(800) 422-4453. At any time, if you or your boyfriend are in serious, immediate danger, you can always call the police or go to a Safe Place in your area. These can be found with a simple Google search.
          We agree that this kind of trauma can lead a person to have suicidal tendencies. It may be beneficial for you to be there as much as you can for him, though we understand his family rules sometimes disallow this. Your listening ears, especially as someone that cares for him, can be a more helpful than you might know. That said, if your boyfriend is considering suicide, he can get by reaching out to The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ Youth Suicide Lifeline at 1(866) 488-7386.
          If you or your boyfriend ever need to call us at National Runaway Safeline, we are toll-free and available 24/7. We would love to help, no matter the situation. We hope that you find these resources useful. Best of luck moving forward through this hard and scary time. Thanks for reaching out and, again, we are always here to listen

      • #51
        I have a friend in another state. she is in Virginia and i'm in Georgia. she said her dad is abusing her. how do i help her when she is in another state?

        Comment


        • ccsmod6
          ccsmod6 commented
          Editing a comment
          Hello thank you for reaching out to the NRS. We are sorry to hear about your friend’s situation. You are amazing for trying to help your friend from such a far distance. To report the abuse she can call out to her local police or CPS. She can also call out to a National Child Abuse Hotline called Child Help at 1800-422-4453. Their website is www.childhelp.org.
          While resources are awesome to give to your friend being someone they can reach out to and talk to may be important also. Sometimes people in need appreciate a shoulder to lean on the most.
          We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
          Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
          If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
          Be safe,
          NRS

      • #52
        My friend said her mother is being abused from her father. Apparently she and her mother won't reach for help because he has stated that if they try to put him away someone will kill them. I dont know what to do about the situation, as she does not go to the same school as us anymore. I cannot see or tell if any of this is real. I dont know what to do and I do not want to do something that doesn't fix the problem or make it worse. I dont know what to do and ive recommended 911 to her several times and speculate it mightve not been her I was speaking to, but I'm not 100% sure. What am I to do????

        Comment


        • #53
          Hi there,

          Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about the situation your friend is in. It sounds really scary but we're glad that you are looking out for her. It can be understandable to be worried about making the situation worse. One thing you can do is to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline to ask about what options they may have. You would be able to ask out safe places, legal resources, and other services for them that might be there in their area. They would also have advice on how to best help in a way that won't put them in more danger or how to talk to your friend to figure out what is going on. They can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

          We can also be reached at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk through this option or think through other options you might have. Let us know how we can best help.

          NRS
          Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

          National Runaway Safeline
          info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
          1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

          Tell us what you think about your experience!
          https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

          Comment


          • #54
            My friends dad is abusing him and taking his phone and the only way I have contact with him is through school but another friend gave him a phone and his dad is really abusive. We called CPS and they said they would be at the house but they weren't there the day they said and it is getting worse like his dad wont let him sit at the dinner table to eat with the rest of the family \. I want to adopt him I just can't get through to CPS please help us.

            Comment


            • ccsmod8
              ccsmod8 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hello there –

              Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. No one should be abused in any way. In regards to the abuse taking place, it’s great that you were able to reach out to CPS in order to try to report what was going on. It’s just unfortunate that they didn’t show up to check things out when they said that they were going to. Of course, the decision of whether or not he would be removed from his parents care falls on the shoulders of a CPS case worker, so they would need to be involved. After a report is made, they will decided if there is enough information to do an investigation where they will go to the house and see what is going on. Unfortunately, depending on the type of abuse, it would be harder to see and prove so it might come done to whether or not you have any evidence so support your case. If they don’t think there is abuse, they might recommend some counseling services or general family mediation. So if you want to follow up with them to just check in with the statues of the report, that mind be the best way to figure out what’s going on.

              One thing that may be helpful for him is to possibly note when the fighting/yelling is happening or any triggers of the fighting/yelling (some examples would be like after his abuser comes from work or after dinner and/or right when he gets home) and to try to find things that can keep himself away from home during those times (after school programs, sports program, study group at a friend’s house, getting involved in volunteering, etc). If he ends up leaving home, he’ll want to make sure that he is staying safe either going to a local youth shelter or even a friend’s house. Just note that if he chooses to run, his parents does have the right to file a runaway report with the police and if caught he would be returned home to their care again.

              Again you’re thanks for writing in. There is someone also willing to listen to you here if you want to reach out. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

          • #55
            My friend and her mother are both getting abused by her alcoholic father. She doesn’t want to get help because her mom doesn’t want her too. I really want to tell and get help but I also don’t want to go behind her back and say something. Please help me I don’t want her to get hurt anymore.

            Comment


            • ccsmod9
              ccsmod9 commented
              Editing a comment
              Hi there,
              Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned all the abuse they are going through. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
              Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
              Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
              We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
              Take care,
              NRS
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