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My friend is being abused.

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is being abused by his father, he hits him with wires and cable, etc. all the time. He has scars up and down his side of his stomach and recently had to get stitches because one cut was so bad and it wouldn't stop bleeding. He doesn't want me to tell anyone but it needs to stop and I'm not sure what else to do. He has two other siblings which are both younger (one boy and one girl) and he is afraid that his dad will hit his little brother too. What do I do??

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  • ccsmod0
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned wanting to being scared to come home from school. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    We know that you have made reports in the past but we want you both to know that there is not a limit on how many abuse reports someone can make. Additionally we do not want you to give up hope in the system. Justice for Children’s Call Center helps when the child protection system fails to protect a child. They offer information, guidance and assistance to adults who are trying to keep the child safe.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Again, it is wonderful that you are taking the time to help these youth. It sounds like they could really us a good adult on their side. Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    Hi, I live right next to a house of my best friends. I have known them for five years. The oldest is a boy named Diego he is 12, he gets verbally abused way to much which causes him to yell and scream at his younger siblings, I have seen him get smacked across the face about 30 times. Once with a belt. While she is yelling at him he just stands there with tears n his eyes and there is nothing I can do. He's so sweet and kind it kills me to watch him get hurt. Diego has also been scared to come home from school before. Alan is 10 he gets verbally abused the least. But he has bruises all the time. Once she hit him across the face with a wooden spoon. Elli Is the step daughter of the mother who abuses them. She has no legal right to hit her. Elli has the same dad as all of them but has a different mom who she rarely gets to see. The mother has anger issues and hates elli. Behind the dads back the mother abuses her to. The dad knows the mother hits them but not all the rest of the stuff, I think he can't do anything about it because if he left they would all be stuck with her. A few days ago elli came to my house and asked if she could stay the night. I said yes. Something was different about elli, I mean she always get s yelled at but it was something worse. She told me that a few days ago her step mother choked her. I could not believe what I heard. She told me to promise I would not tell anyone, it was hard for me to make that promise. But I broke it soon after. Massiel Is 6 years old she is cute and small. She gets hit the most usually the mother pulls her hair and smacks her. One time she hit her in the head with a Tv remote and her eye was bleeding for a couple days. Then someone noticed at a store and massiel said my mom hit me with a remote. And the mother quickly jumped up and said no she fell and then pulled the girl and us out of the store quickly. Massiel is only 6 and she is the only one in that house who stands up To her Mother. She yells Stop MOM! Its not right! One time when the mother was hurting one of her siblings massiel hit her mom in the back to make her stop. Of course it did not hurt she was only 6. But after that the girl was grounded for a week. Julie is the youngest she is 4 she is often giggling and running around the house being loud and when her mom gets sick of it she slaps her. The mother is sometimes nice to all the kids but not for long. She is nicest to Julie though. Diego has been my friend since I was eight I am 12 now. Elli has been my friend since I was 9. Elli often spends the night at my house. After she told be what the mom did. I promised her. I promised her I would not tell anyone. I could not stop thinking about it. I called her dad and said that the mother did something and that he needs to talk to elli. Finally I said to myself. "You promised her you would not tell, but what if this happened again, I said if I want to be a good friend I should get her help. So I did. I grabbed my phone and I called CPS. CPS has been called lot of times the other neighbors have seen bruises but when they come they can't do anything because kids get bruises a lot. But This time when I called, I told them everything. The whole story. You have only read about 3/4 of the story. They said they would put the report in. Then I realized they believed me. Im writing this right after I called. I had to get this off my chest. but The only reason they believed me I because they thought I was an adult. AND THAT SUCKS. If they would have knew I was a kid they would not have believed me. I think that is wrong. Why can't you believe kids they are our next generation aren't they? We are!
    I am going to make this right. If you have a friend who needs Help but tells you not to tell anyone. Its better to Be SAFE than Sorry. I called you can to. I hope this works out. I just wanted to make sure I was doing the right thing. I want my voice to be heard. Please understand If Anyone needs help
    Last edited by ccsmod0; 02-04-2019, 10:42 AM.

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello,

    You mentioned some things that raise concern for your friend’s safety and well-being. If any harm or abuse is happening at home, they have the right to report it. We are not experts on the issue, but generally once it's been reported, social services will either decide whether or not to take the case and further investigate. If they do take the case, they will send out someone from child protective services to do an investigation (interviewing people in the household) and from there they will decide the level of danger within the household. It generally ranges from no danger (the youth stays in the home, some services are given, and the case is closed), moderate danger (they will provide family services with possible temporary displacement) and high danger (they will remove the youth from the home and offer certain services).

    If you feel like this is an option your friend wants to explore, you may find this website helpful: https://www.childhelp.org/child-abuse/. We can also help you to file a report if that’s the route you are considering.

    Please be safe and reach out soon by phone or chat so that we may help.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied

    my friend told me he is being abused by his mother. And apparently it has been happening for a while. His father has also never been there for him his entire life. He gets suicidal thoughts and I am very worried. He doesn’t want to do anything because he doesn’t want to hurt his mom and he is also afraid his mom would abuse him more if she found out that he told an adult. I am very concerned and I just want the best for him. I don’t know what to do and I am worried that if things keep getting worse, he might commit. Please help me I don’t know what to do to help him.

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  • ccsmod9
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hi there,
    Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned all the abuse they are going through. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them.
    Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.
    Take care,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend and her mother are both getting abused by her alcoholic father. She doesn’t want to get help because her mom doesn’t want her too. I really want to tell and get help but I also don’t want to go behind her back and say something. Please help me I don’t want her to get hurt anymore.

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  • ccsmod8
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello there –

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. No one should be abused in any way. In regards to the abuse taking place, it’s great that you were able to reach out to CPS in order to try to report what was going on. It’s just unfortunate that they didn’t show up to check things out when they said that they were going to. Of course, the decision of whether or not he would be removed from his parents care falls on the shoulders of a CPS case worker, so they would need to be involved. After a report is made, they will decided if there is enough information to do an investigation where they will go to the house and see what is going on. Unfortunately, depending on the type of abuse, it would be harder to see and prove so it might come done to whether or not you have any evidence so support your case. If they don’t think there is abuse, they might recommend some counseling services or general family mediation. So if you want to follow up with them to just check in with the statues of the report, that mind be the best way to figure out what’s going on.

    One thing that may be helpful for him is to possibly note when the fighting/yelling is happening or any triggers of the fighting/yelling (some examples would be like after his abuser comes from work or after dinner and/or right when he gets home) and to try to find things that can keep himself away from home during those times (after school programs, sports program, study group at a friend’s house, getting involved in volunteering, etc). If he ends up leaving home, he’ll want to make sure that he is staying safe either going to a local youth shelter or even a friend’s house. Just note that if he chooses to run, his parents does have the right to file a runaway report with the police and if caught he would be returned home to their care again.

    Again you’re thanks for writing in. There is someone also willing to listen to you here if you want to reach out. If you give us a call on our 24/7 hotline at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) we could help you find resources in your area and could potentially help you brainstorm a possible solution to the issues you are having. We also have an online chat service available every night from 4:30-11:30PM CST that is available through our website (www.1800runaway.org).

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friends dad is abusing him and taking his phone and the only way I have contact with him is through school but another friend gave him a phone and his dad is really abusive. We called CPS and they said they would be at the house but they weren't there the day they said and it is getting worse like his dad wont let him sit at the dinner table to eat with the rest of the family \. I want to adopt him I just can't get through to CPS please help us.

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  • ccsmod1
    replied
    Hi there,

    Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. We're sorry to hear about the situation your friend is in. It sounds really scary but we're glad that you are looking out for her. It can be understandable to be worried about making the situation worse. One thing you can do is to reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline to ask about what options they may have. You would be able to ask out safe places, legal resources, and other services for them that might be there in their area. They would also have advice on how to best help in a way that won't put them in more danger or how to talk to your friend to figure out what is going on. They can be reached 24/7 at 1-800-799-7233.

    We can also be reached at 1-800-786-2929 if you want to talk through this option or think through other options you might have. Let us know how we can best help.

    NRS

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  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My friend said her mother is being abused from her father. Apparently she and her mother won't reach for help because he has stated that if they try to put him away someone will kill them. I dont know what to do about the situation, as she does not go to the same school as us anymore. I cannot see or tell if any of this is real. I dont know what to do and I do not want to do something that doesn't fix the problem or make it worse. I dont know what to do and ive recommended 911 to her several times and speculate it mightve not been her I was speaking to, but I'm not 100% sure. What am I to do????

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Hello thank you for reaching out to the NRS. We are sorry to hear about your friend’s situation. You are amazing for trying to help your friend from such a far distance. To report the abuse she can call out to her local police or CPS. She can also call out to a National Child Abuse Hotline called Child Help at 1800-422-4453. Their website is www.childhelp.org.
    While resources are awesome to give to your friend being someone they can reach out to and talk to may be important also. Sometimes people in need appreciate a shoulder to lean on the most.
    We are here as support to help through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email to assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.
    Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).
    If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.
    Be safe,
    NRS

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    I have a friend in another state. she is in Virginia and i'm in Georgia. she said her dad is abusing her. how do i help her when she is in another state?

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  • ccsmod6
    commented on Guest's reply
    Thank you for reaching out to us. It is clear you are concerned for your boyfriend’s safety and it takes a lot of bravery and maturity to seek help. It sounds like your boyfriend is enduring extreme abuse and neglect at the hands of his parent. Being denied basic needs, like food, water and sleep is never okay. This must be incredibly destructive to him, and overwhelming and scary for you. In addition, the lack of support from your parents must make you feel very hurt and alone.
    We feel it important to first address the extreme forms of abuse and potential suicide mentioned in your post. Since no one should ever be treated like your boyfriend is treated at home, he has the option to file an abuse report. This can be done either by calling our Hotline at 1(800) RUN-AWAY or by calling Child Help, the National Child Abuse Hotline at 1(800) 422-4453. At any time, if you or your boyfriend are in serious, immediate danger, you can always call the police or go to a Safe Place in your area. These can be found with a simple Google search.
    We agree that this kind of trauma can lead a person to have suicidal tendencies. It may be beneficial for you to be there as much as you can for him, though we understand his family rules sometimes disallow this. Your listening ears, especially as someone that cares for him, can be a more helpful than you might know. That said, if your boyfriend is considering suicide, he can get by reaching out to The Trevor Project, an LGBTQ Youth Suicide Lifeline at 1(866) 488-7386.
    If you or your boyfriend ever need to call us at National Runaway Safeline, we are toll-free and available 24/7. We would love to help, no matter the situation. We hope that you find these resources useful. Best of luck moving forward through this hard and scary time. Thanks for reaching out and, again, we are always here to listen

  • Guest's Avatar
    Guest replied
    My boyfriend is trans (female wanting to be male) he hasn’t told many people other than his family and me. We are both teenagers and have kept our relationship fairly secret from our families since they would not accept that I a female is dating a trans female.But he is being denied water and food if he gets in trouble. He usually will eat only 1 meal a days and one tiny cup of water, he has told me that he will occasionally sneak water from the faucet, but will then be cursed and sworn at by his mother and denied food and water. He has also been told to stand outside in 112 F degree heat for an hour for his so called “crimes” witch consist of talking back, eating to much food, drinking to much water, or not waking up at 5:00 am. Speaking of sleep he is only aloud 3-4 hours of sleep each night because he must do chores and take care of his siblings. I honestly don’t no what to do and am getting seriously worried he might commit suicide if som thing doesn’t happen. The only contact I have with him is Instagram since it is summer and his mom dose not allow him to socialize. But I cant tell my parents because they would find out we are in realtionship and probably disown me. The only other plan that we have is to run away to somewhere safer.

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