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  • My friend is being abused.

    My friend is being abused by her mother and she doesn't want to tell anyone. She told me that she didn't want me to tell. But being a good friend is not telling but doing the right thing is telling. She also said that she doesn't care since it's the first time she has been abused and that she doesn't want her mother taken away. I told her that I'd rather her safe then abused and hurt. I don't know what to do, tell an adult and help her, or watch her come to school hurt?

  • #2
    RE: My Friend Is Being Abused

    Hello,

    Thank you for reaching us to tell us about your friend's situation. You have taken a very brave step towards helping your friend. It really proves that you are a good person to want the best for her. She does not deserve to be hurt like that. She deserve to feel safe in her own home. We are concerned for her safety and understand how frustrating this must be for you. It is not surprising that your friend does not want to take her mother away. We do not condone the actions of her mother.

    We are a confidential hotline but we are also mandated reporters. What that means is that we can report abuse. Have you considered calling your local child abuse hotline yourself? If she shows up to school with bruises it is expected for her teachers to take action because teachers are mandated reporters also. We do not define or investigate abuse. We are the instrument to use to get to the proper sources to come pay her mother a visit.

    There are no guarantees what the outcome of her case will be. State agencies involved may investigate and they may think there is not enough evidence to support your friend's claims. They also believe in family preservation and do there best to reunify families. They may offer her mother counseling and maybe she might stop what she is putting your friend through. At the end of the day, someone needs to know. Have you talk to any adults about it? We understand the hesitation on the part of your friend. We are also a confidential hotline. We do not force info out of our callers and we do not mislead them.

    If your friend were to call us we can help her through the options she has. We have resources for shelters if she needs time away from home. Another option is emancipation. If she can prove she is capable of living on her own and can take care of her own finances and live independently then maybe a judge may see things in her favor. Have you discussed counseling as an option with her? We also have resources if this is something your friend may be in favor of.

    In the end, in cannot tell you or your friend what to do. We cannot give legal advice. We can only help her through this difficult time by exploring options with her in hopes that she may be able to benefit in some way. She deserves better. We are here for her and you also. We hope you can pass our number along to her. Our number is 1800RUNAWAY (1800-786-2929). We are here 24 hours/7 days a week if you or her need to reach out directly. We are all trained the say way. We wish you and your friend the best of luck. Stay strong.

    -NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Child Abuse

      My best friend apparently is being abused my her mother? I found out about it today. And its apparently often enough that she is "used to it". Im very concerned. And her father, aunt and sister know about it but she says she cant do anything about it? Please help me im very concerned. She claims they are doing something but she wont say anything else. Please please please help i dont know who else to tell

      Comment


      • #4
        re: Child Abuse

        Hi there,

        Thanks for reaching out and posting here. It sounds like you’re really concerned about your friend. She’s so lucky to have you. You know more than anyone about how your friend doesn’t deserve to be mistreated. She deserves to be valued and supported by her mom. It must be difficult to find out that your friend is put in difficult situations. You’re asking some good questions and it’s smart of you to reach out for support and guidance through this. So let’s see how we can help you out.

        It can be stressful to deal with something like this on your own. It seems like you’re taking steps to try to understand what your friend is going through, but that your friend isn’t sharing much about it. It sounds like she’s been dealing with this on her own for some time, so it makes sense that she wouldn’t want to share a lot about it. Just letting her know that you’re here for her can go a long way to support her.

        There is a good resource for you too that has a lot of experience talking with people who have friends or family who are being abused. You can call Child Help USA at 1800-422-4453. They can talk through with you about more specific ways and steps that you can take to help her.

        We are also here to support you and your friend. If you want to give her our number, we would be more than happen to talk with her. You can also call us if you want to discuss more about options or just to share how you’ve been feeling through all this.

        You can call us at 1800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm central time.

        We look forward to your call or chat.

        Best of luck to you,

        NRS
        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!
        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

        Comment


        • #5
          Should she?

          One of my friends is being abused at home, she wants to runaway and suicide I have told her not to do anything, I want to adopt her in but I don't know how.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: Should she?

            Hello and thanks for reaching out on behalf of your friend. She certainly doesn’t deserve to be abused at home and we imagine that is quite scary for her. We aren’t sure whether she’s tried to file an abuse report yet and as scary as that can be, she does have that right should she choose. We are also here to help her file an abuse report if that would help and there is also Child Help https://www.childhelp.org/ You also mentioned suicide and there is support for young people and their friends/family who are feeling suicidal too. There is http://www.youmatter.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ specifically for young people and we are here to help to the best of our ability as well.

            We’d also like to say how lucky your friend is to have you looking out for her and offering her a place to go. Our understanding of adoption is that it is typically done either through child protective services once a child/minor is in foster care, although that's not always the outcome. Alternative placement or transfer of custody usually would have to go through the current parent/guardian to our knowledge; however, we aren’t legal experts. We’re available to further discuss your friend’s situation and hopefully come up with some options that would make her feel safe and comfortable. Best of luck to you both!
            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

            National Runaway Safeline
            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

            Tell us what you think about your experience!
            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

            Comment


            • #7
              abuse or discipline?

              My mom whips me with a switch and leaves bruises on my legs back and hands.she also
              Slaps my face.she calls me names.

              Comment


              • #8
                Re: My friend is being abused.

                Thank you for reaching out to us. We are truly sorry to hear that you’ve been treated this way. No one deserves to be mistreated at home. You asked whether the way your mom behaves with you would be called abuse or discipline. We’re not legal experts, but we will do our best to provide you with information to help answer your questions.

                You described what sounds like a difficult situation with your mom. If you are feeling unsafe, you always have the option of reporting what goes on to your local child protective services. How they handle your report depends on where you live, so you would need to speak with someone familiar with the laws in your state. If you are not comfortable reporting, we can assist you in identifying other resources that might support you in however you choose to handle your situation. Whatever you choose to do, please know that we are here to support you.

                If you would like further support, please feel free to reach out to us. We are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786.2929). You can also reach out to us via chat from 7 days a week from 4:30pm-11:30pm CST.
                Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                National Runaway Safeline
                info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                Comment


                • #9
                  Re: My friend is being abused.

                  ..My friend lives in New Jersey. I live in Missouri. ..As you can imagine, I can't be there for her in real life, but we text all of the time and are extremely close. I found out that her mom slaps her or hits her with a belt, and verbally abuses her. It happens at least once or twice a week. It used to be worse before her little brother told one of their teachers. ...I'm really worried about her, and I love her to bits, but I don't know what will happen if I tell my parents. ..Should I tell my parents or a teacher, or stay quiet?

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Re: My friend is being abused.

                    Hi there,

                    Thanks for reaching out to us. It sounds like your friend is going through a really difficult time at home. No one deserves to feel unsafe in their own home. She has the right to report the abuse that she has been experiencing if she feels that is the right decision. We are glad to hear that she has a friend like you to talk to about what is going on. Our main priority is always safety. One thing that may be helpful to work through with your friend is figuring out if she has somewhere safe near her house that she can go when things get out of control.

                    There are a few options you have as a friend. You mentioned talking to your parents or a teacher about the situation. That is an option you have. Keep in mind that teachers are mandated reporters. This means that if you talk to them about what your friend is going through, they are obligated to file an abuse report. If you’re not sure that this is what your friend wants, you can talk to your friend and find out what she wants or feels comfortable with. If your friend want to talk with someone confidentially about her options, she can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY 24 hours a day or chat with us at www.1800RUNAWAY.org open daily. There is also Child Help USA, an organization that helps kids who are suffering from domestic abuse. Their hotline is 1-800-4-A-CHILD. Lastly, your friend can always call 911 if things at home get too unsafe and she needs immediate help.

                    You are a good friend to reach out for help! Thank you for being so strong for her.

                    Best,
                    NRS
                    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                    National Runaway Safeline
                    info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      What do I do now

                      My friend is being abused at home and she told me that she wanted to run away. I told her to come stay with me Bc she's so new to our town. I told my parents what was going and and since my dad is a teacher he had to report it.
                      My friend has no where else to go and I definitely don't want her put in the system, so what do I do? Could I ask the social worker tomorrow if she could stay with us and finish out the rest of the school year?

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Re: What do I do now

                        Hello there,

                        Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. We are very sorry to hear that your friend is being abused at home. Nobody deserves to be treated this way and she definitely has the right to feel safe at home. It sounds like you are concerned about your friend and that you are trying to help her find somewhere safe to stay. This must be a very difficult situation and it is very brave of you to reach out for help.

                        It sounds like you were able to talk with your parents about her situation and your father made a report. Typically after this happens an investigation is launched by child protective services and someone is sent out to the home to start this process. The outcome, or where your friend will stay during this process, most likely depends on a variety of factors. It is possible that she could be moved to stay with a friend or family member or a foster home if there wasn’t another option. If child protective services felt she wasn’t in any current danger, they may have her remain at home with her parents. It sounds like the social worker you are meeting might be a helpful resource as well. You can definitely share your concerns and thoughts with them.

                        Again, it is great that you reached out to us here at the National Runaway Safeline. It is really admirable that you are trying to help your friend in this very hard situation. If you would like to talk further about your situation or if your friend would like to talk to us directly to explore her options, please do not hesitate to call or chat with us. We are here to listen, here to help.

                        Take care,
                        NRS
                        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                        National Runaway Safeline
                        info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
                        Tell us what you think about your experience!
                        https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Re: My friend is being abused.

                          HI I was here a few months back and I wrote something about my suicidal side and depression and how I planned to run away. I managed to beat depression, thought there are still some traces of it left and it has been making things difficult but im taking this all in and "fighting back".
                          Anyways, this call for help isn't really for me, its for a friend. She's being abused by her parents. Her mom mostly.. i dont know about her dad.
                          At first I thought it was the same abuse as mine. Punching, Pushing, verbal abuse, but hers' is a completely different level.
                          Last night her she texted me. She said that her mom pushed and hit her and she started bleeding. So she ran in her room locking the door. She's been in there the whole day. No food. No water.
                          She texted me saying how hungry and thirsty she was. So i told her to just go out there and take on any pain that comes to her and take how ever many food she can get.
                          She said and I quote: "i might die out there"
                          I dont know what to do . I dont want to talk to my parents about this especially becaus ewe arent that close and we barely talk to each other and it might get too serious. I dont like getting involved in those things
                          I want to sneak out to go to her but she lives too far away.
                          I really really need help.

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            Re: My friend is being abused.

                            Hi there,

                            Thank you for writing to us here at National Runaway Safeline (NRS). We understand it takes great courage to reach out, and we appreciate you sharing a little bit about what’s going on. It seems there is a lot that your friend is faced with right now and you’re wanting to find a way to help them as they mentioned some issues with safety at home. Your friend does not deserve to be harmed in any way. If she fears that she will be harmed by her mother, she has the right to call authorities for help (911 and child protective services). Child Help USA 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org is an organization that helps prevent and stop child abuse/neglect. It’s great that your friend has support and concern from you especially since this time is quite difficult for them. It seems you can relate to what they’re going through. Which, by the way, you do not deserve to be mistreated or harmed either.

                            Having a space to vent and explore options may often bring out a solution previously not thought of. We are here as support to help you and your friend through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat. If you would like to talk more in detail please call or chat soon.

                            If your friend needs a safe place to turn to for some help, they can reach out to us or reach out to the National Safe Place website http://nationalsafeplace.org/text-4-help/.

                            We’re here to listen and to help and hope you or your friend can reach out soon.

                            Take care,
                            NRS
                            Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

                            National Runaway Safeline
                            info@1800runaway.org (Crisis Email)
                            1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

                            Tell us what you think about your experience!
                            https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              My friend in another state is being abused by his dad

                              My friend is being abused by his dad. He's in another state, far from me, and he won't tell me the address of his house so I can call the police. He's already taken his dad to court for the abuse, but he lost and is still in his dad's care. I don't know what to do or how to help. Please tell me what to do im seed for his safety.

                              Comment

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