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My best friend and I were inseperable. We literally did everything together. I knew she had issues, but so did I. We started being friends to have a smoking buddy, but we stopped smoking and just hang out sober. She was the closest thing I've ever had to having a best friend. I was there for her for everything.
The day I found out she was in the hospital, was a wednesday. My friend and I finally went to her house after not hearing from her for weeks. We caught her parents as they were leaving, they said she was in the hospital. They refused to give us any more information about the matter. I cried, my friend and I sat in the freezing cold parking lot and called every hospital in the tri-state area to see if she was there. None of them had any records of having her. We knew what she did, or tried to do. For 11 days I was miserable. I cried everyday at school, but I couldn't tell anyone why I was so upset. I burnt myself and cut myself, I was seriously mentally unstable.
I finally got a text from her, I called her hysterically crying. I went over to her house and had to act like I didn't know what was going on. She didn't know that I knew about her suicide attempt. That was the last time we talked.
I tried to be her friend in school, act like nothing happened and wait until she told me herself. But she pushed me away. I accepted it. But now she is acting hostile towards me, she follows me to all my classes and sends me hurtful texts with name-calling. I don't know what I did wrong. I feel like she is just lashing out on me, so I'll have to take it. I know she doesn't want to be my friend anymore because of the mean things she's writing in the texts. And to be honest I would like to have her out of my life. I cried for all 11 days she was in the hospital, and when I saw her I physically couldn't show emotion. As of right now I can't cry, I can't smile, I can't feel anything. The only feeling I have is guilt.
Guilt for not being sympathetic for her. But what I'm really asking help for is this: I don't know what to do or how to act around her. And I'm also embarassed. I'm embarassed because I feel that I have a bad judge of character. If I were to have a best friend who pulled this, It reflects my awful choice of friends. I hate feeling this way, but I do. Please help. I'm also thinking about seeing a therapist, but I don't have time in my schedule.
The day I found out she was in the hospital, was a wednesday. My friend and I finally went to her house after not hearing from her for weeks. We caught her parents as they were leaving, they said she was in the hospital. They refused to give us any more information about the matter. I cried, my friend and I sat in the freezing cold parking lot and called every hospital in the tri-state area to see if she was there. None of them had any records of having her. We knew what she did, or tried to do. For 11 days I was miserable. I cried everyday at school, but I couldn't tell anyone why I was so upset. I burnt myself and cut myself, I was seriously mentally unstable.
I finally got a text from her, I called her hysterically crying. I went over to her house and had to act like I didn't know what was going on. She didn't know that I knew about her suicide attempt. That was the last time we talked.
I tried to be her friend in school, act like nothing happened and wait until she told me herself. But she pushed me away. I accepted it. But now she is acting hostile towards me, she follows me to all my classes and sends me hurtful texts with name-calling. I don't know what I did wrong. I feel like she is just lashing out on me, so I'll have to take it. I know she doesn't want to be my friend anymore because of the mean things she's writing in the texts. And to be honest I would like to have her out of my life. I cried for all 11 days she was in the hospital, and when I saw her I physically couldn't show emotion. As of right now I can't cry, I can't smile, I can't feel anything. The only feeling I have is guilt.
Guilt for not being sympathetic for her. But what I'm really asking help for is this: I don't know what to do or how to act around her. And I'm also embarassed. I'm embarassed because I feel that I have a bad judge of character. If I were to have a best friend who pulled this, It reflects my awful choice of friends. I hate feeling this way, but I do. Please help. I'm also thinking about seeing a therapist, but I don't have time in my schedule.
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