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The right thing to do???

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  • The right thing to do???

    As sad as I am right now I can't seem too go to sleep at all. I have been telling myself that I am crazy, angry, depress, worthless, pathetic, slow, lazy, lifeless and ect. which didn't get me anywhere at all just paralysed and stuck, letting time fly by.
    I just turned 18 2 months ago
    Really quick some history of mine

    >>>>The Good
    * adventurous fun childhood
    * Good grades in grade shool only(straight A's)
    *My mom no matter how bad things were
    * I actually really loved god once
    * very beautiful in the inside
    *Had pets(cats were my favorite)
    *earn a lot of rewards that are just possible
    >>>>>>>>>stuff that just happens
    * being sexually molested
    * away from my love ones for a long while( still away from them)
    * almost rape a few times
    *peer pressure to have sex a lot
    *feeling ashamed
    * nervous that anyone would stare at me for a bout a year (kept looking down but now i stop this)
    * abused
    * confusetion and getting lost

    anyways there was a lot of good things that happen my life
    which I am very thankful for
    Today and for awhile, I been in so much pain. I really didn't have a place to go when I was about to turn 18, so my boyfriend wanted me to live with him. HE was such a very wonderful guy, I love him today, loved him yesturday, and will love him tomarrow. You know when you find love you do everything you can to not loose it. I feel that way but I don't think I can be with him ( which breaks my heart) I moved with him when I turn 18. Things went out of my hands-sex,pain,,fights, & some other stuff. We were living with his not real parents. they are really religious and are fake christians. My love lived there when he was in his teens about two years ago (16) He ranaway from there and was on a rough rode for awhile. The parents are trying to brainwash me too be more godly. I do so many ungodly things which pisses them off even though they do a huge amount of ungodly things. I don't know if they known this for awhile or that they just recently found out that we were having sex*(oral we told them but it was the real making love thing) whil they were traveling. Me and Him<3 have so many ups and downs; break ups and makeups. THe parents aready treat me differently from everyone and treats me like crap{which i have a hard time standing up for myself"
    They get deep into my personal information and tries so much to say you need to be heal, no therapist, yoga, music, art, can heal you only god could. (maybe god created these tools to help us healt?) tHese people are so mean, I try so hard to wait until me and Him<3 could move out. ugh( I'm at that point were I really want to cuz them out)
    talking to the not reala parents about the sex in the house.
    I wanted to talk to them a lone without my hubby.... so i did so
    They were hurtfull to me telling me that it was all my fault and saying all these bad things that they shouldn't have ssaid.. very sad.
    one of the ******** up thing they said was that :my name you should trust us, if you want to be in a good relationship you should wait and be with us. somethiing like that. Very godly way . Only i understand this stuff because i was the one there .They don't want us to be together. They seem so ********en pissed at me , You have know idea that they treat me different. lower than anyone else here.

    some other problems i'm having
    * i don't have a food stamp card so i can't get the food I want to eat .... THe food here is very unhealthy and there isn't enougth material to cook proper food. The mom is in charge of only making dinner which sucks ass.
    I cook there once and she gets angry and say's you ruin my pans. I'm very unhealthy.
    * having a hard time to ecept anything here because i just do
    * don't go to highschool at all. having problems getting to school
    * can't have a healthy relationship with Him<3
    *my room is full out trashed(

    he was really about to break up with me for these minipulated fake parents . I never felt so exposed, critizied, confused from people like these. I'm very strong at the moment but i could feel the meltdown that I will have when i talk to him<3. I am about to move out ASAP. I don't know where yet. I know i won't move directly to the streets thats why I am going to be patients and stick it up for maybe a week and look for a housing program. Everysince I moved here I tell him almost everyday that I am moving out and that i don't want to be here. I want to go. they don't want me to be with him. they want me out : i could tell. It doesn't matter what they think thought but I'm not going to put myself through this. He stops me everytime from leaving (he loves me) but he can't this time. IDK...

  • #2
    The right thing to do???

    Thank you for taking the time to post on our NRS bulletin board.
    You certainly seem to have gone through some terrible situations and we empathize with your feelings of despair. With there being so much in your post it is difficult to focus on just how we might best assist you. We certainly hope don’t feel imprisoned or compelled to stay in a bad situation.
    Your safety is an important issue. If for any reasons you feel threaten there may be Domestic violence shelter/services in your area you can look into as an option.

    Domestic Violence Hotline
    1-800-799-7233 (24hrs)

    We would be more then glad to take your call on our 24hr 1-800-Runaway Hotline.
    You are welcome to talk about what ideas you may have to adjust your situation.
    Sometimes having a sounding board helps to formulate a plan of action.
    Does that seem like something you might want to do?
    You deserve the right to a peaceful and prosperous life.
    Please remember our liners are available 24hrs a day 7days a week at NRS.
    We hope you to hear from you and wish you well wish in finding your way to a decision that best suits you.

    Take Care,
    Last edited by ccsmod4; 05-20-2011, 03:06 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      A good answer (there could be more than one answere)

      I talk to my most hearted sister of mine who has a huge heart for jesus. Wheither I love jesus or not, she still loves me. She told me that the best thing i could do is be kind, peaceful, loving with the people who are very harsh on me. then they will maybe not be blind from there rudeness then it will show that they are not following jesus right as they clame they do. I'll be patient to find a proper safe place to live. I never want to get the government involve in my life ever again so I won't. I won't call that number. I'm in love with T?????? and maybe he needs to help save our relationship as well as I. THis is going to be a crazy time for me right now, but I know I'm going to be ok no matter what happens... cuz I still got my smile... Life is worth living.



      • #4
        Thank you for contacting us again. It sounds like you have a support system in your sister; that’s great! You said that you don’t want the government involved in your life again so you won’t call the Domestic Violence hotline. Just so you know they are confidential and anonymous so they can listen to you and try to provide you with options. They also have a website if you are more comfortable contacting them that way; it is

        We at the National Runaway Switchboard are also completely confidential and anonymous. If you should ever need someone to talk to or need to discuss your options, please call us anytime. We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

        Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

        National Runaway Safeline
        [email protected] (Crisis Email)
        1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

        Tell us what you think about your experience!


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