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Boyfriend Died

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  • Boyfriend Died

    My name is A.R., and I live in Connecticut. I turn 16 in 17 days, on the 25th.

    A year ago last August, my boyfriend died, hit by a drunk driver who sped out of the bar parking lot and careened into him as he walked home from the library. He was 15 at the time.

    Since then, I have been having issues with depression. I have no one to discuss this with, because I don't want to tell my parents, as they would not have approved of him. His elder brother, however, is a collegue of mine, and he, along with the rest of my Area Team, have been very supportive. I also see a therapist, who knows about what happened, but it is not something I am comfortable dealing with in person.

    Last Christmas, with my hitting my age of majority, my boss offered me a place to stay if I ever need help. She is one of my closest friends, and I trust her implicitly. Our offices are in Hartford, and I have a contract that states that
    "If any employee under the age of 18 is in fear for their mental or phisical wellbeing, all assistance shall be made available for their help and protection."

    I am wondering if I should take them up on it after I graduate highschool, for the summer before I leave for colledge. I would like to be around people who understand me, and who can offer me the support that my family cannot, but I don't want to put my family or myself in danger.

    What should I do? Should I remain over the summer or leave? I want to travel, and try to deal with L.'s memories by seeing the places that we had wanted to go together, but I don't know how to tell my parents. I would be safe in every city I would travel to, the only issue I have is the travel. We had wanted to walk from city to city together. I have 500$, and upon leaving, the money I have earned from my job would be placed in my bank account, somthing that could not be done until then because my parents don't know I have a job, and I don't want to have to face the issue of where 2000$ sprung from with them. How far could this take me, spending on a budget and camping out-of-doors? What can I do if I encounter trouble camping? Could I stay in hostels without being turned over to the police?

  • #2
    NRS reply: Boyfriend Died

    Hi A.R.,

    Thank you for contacting the National Runaway Switchboard and sharing your story. It sounds like you’ve gone through a tough year dealing with your boyfriends’ untimely death and the depression from it without the support of your parents. It’s absolutely understandable that you feel this way after what happened. But it also seems you have your boss, your colleague and others for support which is great.

    I cannot tell you if you should stay or go, nor do we give advice. Our job is to empower you to make your own decision. You know the situation best and are very capable of making this decision yourself. Have you talked about your summer plans with your boss or your colleague? It sounds like you have an idea of what you want to do but lacking a concrete plan to see it out. They may have good insight on the situation and offer other suggestions and support.

    Our database has listings of shelters and drop in centers so I wouldn’t be able to respond to your questions about camping or hostels but if anything were to happen please do not hesitate to call 911 or 1800-RUNAWAY for what shelters are available in your area.
    We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week so please call us or reply if you feel comfortable to talk further about the situation. You’re a very brave young person. Don’t forget that.

    Best of luck,
    1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929)
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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