my defiant 16yr old

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I have had problems with my son running off since he was 14. At first he use to at least be afraid of having to go to court and stopped doing this for a while. We then found out he was sneaking out of the house on almost a nightly basis. He got into some trouble over fireworks and had to go to court in December, and the judge dismissed the charges with the exception of good behavior. In April he ran off the entire week, and stayed up for days straight. The intake officer suggested I reopen his case for review. We have tried in home counseling, day treatment counselors for school, and he sees a psychologist (for bipolar disorder). He is to a point where he does not care how much trouble he is in, he just "just wants to have fun" and we feel helpless as we are the ones having to prosecute him (he stole our bank card and overdrew my account $300 which will be a felony charge, and this was after his case was reopened, and also has charges for destruction of property). He doesnt want to listen to anybody or anything. He comes home and brags to my younger kids about stealing cars and things he does when he is gone, half of which is made up. His court date is in one month, and he continues to run off everyweekend, and he is failing all of his classes. We just cant continue like this, not only for our sanity, but the sake of our younger kids. Any suggestions?

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Re: my defiant 16yr old

Hello,

Thank you for reaching out and sharing the details of your situation. It sounds like you and your family have definitely been through a whirlwind of difficulties with your son. The amazing part is that you have done such a thorough job at following up every time he does something against your expectations. It seems as though if another meeting/court date occurred with a judge, you’d be covered because you probably have a papertrail to show that you have run out of options and detention (?) might be the next step.

And it really does sound like a last resort situation for you and your family because of all of the help that you’ve sought and all of the dead ends you’ve hit. What do you think needs to happen next? Do you think waiting for this court date-will that bring about any behavioral rehabilitation consequneces from the courts? If this is as intense and ongoing as you are describing, the courts might mandate some agencies where he will have to attend certain services for behavioral/mental health.

The only other thing that you didn’t mention that comes to mind is a support group for you and your family. At first this probably sounds silly, but a parent support group could possibly provide some ideas on what else could be done-this could come from other parents that have gone through similar situations. Sometimes parents like hearing from other parents to get “advice from expereince”. If that would be useful for you, here is a national agency called Team HOPE (Help Offering Parents Empowerment) and can be reached at 1866.305.4673

If you would like to talk about your situation a bit more, please contact us 24 hrs a day at 1800.RUNAWAY (786.2929) and we would be open to exploring the situation more throroughly.

Best of luck,
NRS