My family makes me feel small and hates me

[Guest]

My family have been treating me terribly. My brothers mistreats me for being queer for two years after knowing the circumstances of awareness in my sexuality, my awareness of their prejudices against the lgbt community, and their disrespect still after hearing me talk openly about my preferences without me knowing. They felt the tendency to act mean after I left the situation out of feeling awkward and disrespected from their comments/insults out of prejudices and started mistreated each other from that day for our differences and from negativity. My parents came in after a big fight later on and said stop bothering my brothers and assuming things about what others judge or think is about me when clearly, my name was said in a conversation out of of casual disrespect right in front of me and what my brother knew and said would offend me from what they were talking badly about. They also contributed to bothering me as well but my parents don’t believe me because they said my brothers are too busy playing games and fighting with each other instead, and blamed me since I was the one who brought up the drama between them and I and behaving all mad and miserable because I chose to be negative for myself, but I didn’t know how to handle possibility of being mistreated as queer in a better way from my anxious thoughts and low self-esteem instead. Bigger problems constantly arised and came by, growing strong aggressive emotions and behavior. The things my brothers pretended to not say, do, or even made fun of my depression from this pushes me away to ever being close like before again. My parents lack of support and understanding for my needs and self-esteem on these issues made me never want to talk about my problems again from feeling invalidated. Ironically, my parents started behaving in a way that was emotionally aggressive out of negativity directly towards me from misunderstandings and assumptions from their own circumstances without me knowing why. I knew because it was a behavioral pattern and issue we all have in this family about being negative from anxious thoughts/mistreatment. The things my parents did and said made me uncomfortable and the one to feel upset because I don’t know why they’re acting this way. My sleep decreased of staying up the whole night from hearing and fearing guilt of hatred towards me from them. I tried and sent them a clear text message of their misunderstanding of me and made things calm down a bit between us but it still hasn’t felt resolved and I need to know I have to move on with myself and stop waiting for others and just go do better with my life already. I just don’t want to deal with the way things are in this family anymore and badly want to get out of living here because of how bad my anxiety and depression has gotten from these triggers of stressors and the distance from our relationship. I want to be more productive and confident with myself to lead a healthy and fulfilling life I can be proud of and fight for. I want to find a sense of justice and motivation of common interest within a community of working together towards a goal and share similar experiences with one another. I want help on what I should do for the next two years before I turn 18 on what I should do to get in a regular routine of taking care of my mental health and staying away or dealing with toxicity, and carrying myself to the right track towards being healthier. I’d like to be more open and grow closer with the right people and feel more than comfortable of where I’m at to strive for the best in my life right now. I do not want to have severe anxiety, depression, stress, or negativity anymore to feeling suicidal and trying self-harm again to relieve myself. I would like to look for help and support of doing better for myself while being in this house instead of focusing on other things that won’t benefit me of being healthy and helpful during these difficult times, please and thank you.

[Guest]

I posted on the wrong category I think, my apologies.

[ccsmod14]

Hi, thank you for contacting the National Runaway Safeline. NRS is here to help you and NRS is sorry to hear about what you're experiencing at home. You are very brave with sharing your experiences. Reaching out to NRS and requesting help is a very good idea. Attending to your mental health is very important. If you feel the need to -self harm or find you suicidal thought please don't hesitate to reach out to 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. NRS is aware that you requested for help and support and NRS is here to help you. For further assistnce with finding resources that will provide you with help and support, plesae call 1800RUNAWAY or email [email protected]. The purpose of calling and emailing NRS is to collect valuable information so NRS can find the right resources for you.


NRS want you to know that we are here as support to help you through this challenging time. We can best help by phone or chat as NRS is unable to respond more than twice by email or bulletin for assistance. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please contact our 24/7 crisis support line either by phone or chat.




Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).



If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.



We hope to hear from you soon.



Be safe,

NRS