16yr old son wont come home

Thanks for reaching out to the National Runaway Safeline. We are here to listen and help as best as we can. It sounds like you are going through a really tough time not having your youth home and being unsure of their safety. They are lucky to have someone that cares so much about them.

One of the first options that can be important to explore is contacting your local law enforcement to file a runaway report. We are not legal experts here, but typically it is not illegal to runaway or leave home without permission. However, if a runaway report is filed, police that encounter a runaway youth will work to return them home when found. Keep in mind though, that the efforts made to search for runaway youth can vary from state to state or even within districts. Often it is up to the parents to advocate for themselves and keep track of the steps taken to find their youth.

If you have a way to communicate with your child either email, text, phone, or social media you can inform them that we are offer confidential 24/7 support. We can try to locate some resources that could be of assistance, wherever they are located, to help keep them safe.

During a time like this, it can be important to remember your own self-care. Taking care of yourself and feeling heard can make an overwhelming situation more manageable. You can always call us at 1-800-RUNAWAY to talk or find additional resources.

My 16yr old son recently ran away due to an argument we had about school. This is the first time he has done this. He has been gone for 3 days now. I have been able to reach him by text and he saying he's ok and staying with friends. I dont know where his friends live and/or phone numbers. When asked when he'll be back all i get is 'I'll be back whenever so leave him alone and Let me do me'. He also be saying they reason is that I treat him as a pet, that we are toxic, and i mistreat him. which I am surprised he says these things as I felt I have treated him good and shown nothing but love and fairness to the point (thinking about where I have gone wrong for him to do this, i realized) I basically kiss his butt. I admit I have spoiled him for to long and gave him to much freendom with not much of responsibilities other then keep room clean, do good in school, and clean up after self. also i do have a temper issue and yell but aways show him after I have let it go and try making up for it.
I just found out where he could be staying and wanted to go ever to get him. But also want to wait if he goes to school tomorrow on his own as he told me he will still go and dont need me and also if anything happens his friends parents got him. I have written out a script of things needed to be discused when he gets back and layed out some consequences.
Question is im planning on go over where he may be staying and he refuses to come, can I reach out to he police to help me get him home? And what steps i should take if next time he runs away and/or how to keep him from doing it? Honestly to me feels like he's making up excuses so he can just got have fun with this friends without me having him to come home. Help!

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