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  • I need advise..

    This is hard for me to say...but I'm just a normal girl within a family that is quite hard on me. I have all I need and I'm happy with it. But I am not a perfect human yet my father wants me to be perfect. The only flaw about me is that I am forgetful...very forgetful my father finds it annoying because my elder brother whom he favors doesnt forget and always does it right. But in my case if I mess it up...even the most simplest task...he will hit me..

    I'm writing this right now to consider whether I should run away. I love my father with all my heart but at the same time I cant bear getting hurt...as I'm writing this with a left hand is giving me a lot of pain. He used an remote controller to hit me very very hard...although that may sound to others not people or not..it is to me.. my left hand is severely hurting and my right hand has an injury since the remote broke and made a cut this is was bleeding luckily it stopped soon after.

    I just want someone to talk too...I dont know who else to talk to really. Nor do I have any other idea on what I should do. I tried to stand up for myself but that only made things worst again my father would only continue to hit me. If I'm not the perfect daughter he wants he will hit me.. as sad for me to say this it's been a long time this has been happening. The hittings are very frequent he can't control himself when he gets angry. You can just call me a hitting bag.

    ...do I deserve to be hurt this badly by my own father...? If I'm not perfect? If I forget the things he wants me to do? I was just 15 minutes late to do what he had asked...I don't know really if I should be hit so badly by that..

    He also said to me that..if I don't like how I am living in this household then I might as well leave. Get out and find another place to stay. Because since he takes care of the money..brought the house...clothes that I wear...my phone and everything then...I don't get a say...basically...is " my house my rules " I understand he takes care of me and I really am thankful.. but with everything he brought I wish I can just...dont know..

    Basically what he says goes. There's no ifs, buts or anything even if it's too much. Do it wrong and you get a beating..

  • #2
    Thank you very much for your heartfelt post. To get right to the point: NO, you do not deserve to be hurt like that by your dad (or anyone else). What you are describing is both physical and emotional abuse. It is not right that he hits you like he does, even if you are not "perfect" -- which no one is. It sounds like your father has an out of control temper -- and that is NOT your fault.

    One option you have is to file an abuse report on what's going on at home. We know sometimes that is a hard choice to make, but you do have that right. If an abuse report is made it would likely lead to a child protective services investigation. They would likely interview you and your dad and determine what the best course of action is. Sometimes that simply involves talking things through and checking up later to see if things are improving. If things were deemed detrimental to your well being, you could be removed from the home, though this is not always the case by any means. If you want to file an abuse report you can do that through your state's child abuse reporting hotline or through Child Help (www.childhelp.org) at 1-800-422-4453. You can also file through us here at National Runaway Safeline. But again, whether you decide to file or not is up to you. We honor whatever decision you make and support you either way.

    It is probably a good idea to seek out supportive people as much as possible. Your feelings have value and you have the right to be seen and heard. If there is someone in your life that you feel comfortable with and trust, by all means take advantage of talking with them. Perhaps that's a relative, teacher, counselor, religious leader, or anyone you feel safe with. Friends can also support you, but getting an adult involved often may help give you perspective that your peers may lack. Of course, we are here for you whenever you want to talk. You can call us 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or chat with us via the portal at www.1800runaway.org. We are a confidential, safe place to talk about whatever you are going through. We can help you figure out what your best options are and can connect you to resources in our database: shelters, counselors, legal aid, and more. Also, if you need medical care for your injuries, we can see if we can find resources for that too. Of course, even if you just need to vent, we are here to listen.

    Just to reiterate: your dad has no right to hit you like that or demean you the way he has. It may be his house and he may provide you with things, but that does not mean he has the right to abuse you. Please stay safe. We hope to hear from you soon.

    All the best,
    NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod15; 03-31-2020, 12:47 PM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)
    https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/YourOpinionMattersToUs

    Comment


    • #3
      Thank you very much for your words. I'll think about it...right now I'm slowly recovering but emotionally I'm still in a bad state...my father is very hard on me. He controls and he restricts heavily. I just love to play games and even that he hates it.. I may not have a job right now and I may not be as smart or good as my brother but at the same time it gives me thoughts whether I'm worthy or not..

      But still thank you for your post and reply I appreciate it. At least there was someone in my life I can talk to freely without getting hit..

      Comment


      • ccsmod4
        ccsmod4 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hi,
        Thanks for checking back in with NRS.

        You showed a lot of strength by reaching out to NRS. Good for you. What you have been experiencing sounds very sad and very, very unfair. You do not deserve to be treated this way by your father. It’s not your fault that he behaves this way. It sounds as if it has been an emotionally and physically abusive. Out of concern for you safety you have the right to report any form of abuse with child protective services.
        Child help 1-800-422-4453 www.childhelp.org

        Your feelings are important and they matter.
        You are deserving as anyone that wants to be happy.
        We want you to know that we are here as support to you during this time. We can best help by phone or chat so that we might learn a little more about your situation and how we might assist you. If you would like to talk more in detail and share more about how we can help specifically, please call or chat soon.

        Our contact information is 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929); www.1800runaway.org (click on the chat button).

        If you are at risk of any danger or feeling unsafe, we encourage you to reach out to 911 or seek emergency assistance immediately.

        Be safe,
        NRS

    • #4
      I want to take actions but I dont know how. I happened to accidentally stumble onto your website but I'm not from the us. I'm from overseas and I really have no idea on where I can start.. or what to do...

      Comment


      • ccsmod0
        ccsmod0 commented
        Editing a comment
        Thank you for reaching out to us at the National Runaway Safeline. It sounds like you are in a difficult situation, and we understand it takes courage to reach out for help. The National Runaway Safeline is located in the United States of America (USA). Our knowledge of helpful community based resources and our understanding of youth in crisis related laws is limited to the USA. If you are located in a country outside of the USA, you can use this link to find a youth helpline in or around your country: https://www.childhelplineinternation...pline-network/.
        We hope that by reaching out to a local resource, you are able to get the support you need from an organization that understands the laws and circumstances that affect youth in your country.
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