help with abusive mother

[Unregistered]

I need help, but let me start from the beginning
ive been cutting scince I was in the fith grade and also have gender identity issues, along with some on and off bulimia, I started highschool this year and everyday of highschool has been hell, I get pushed around, hit and ended up getting in trouble after I hacked into the school and grabbed everyone's passwords. around second semester I was, I don't want to say raped more like sexualy assaulted, and my only friend ran away to become a prostitute and lived under an overpass, where she died from doing to much meth. I failed 4 classes this year I probably will have to redo the year, but towards the end of the school year this kid in my Spanish class had heard the guy who assaulted me bragging about it in class, I later found out that after he had heard that he pushed the guy down some stairs and gave him a black eye, we became good friends and he invited me to smoke with him and a few friends who went to a different school, I of course said yes and snuck out to see him, well my mom found out, and my mom is not a good person she has anger issues and dosent believe self harm and eating disorders are real she thinks they all are just for attention, she calls me attention whore a lot and even though I've been cutting since 5th grade and had an eating disorder at 6th she just now got me a therapist because the school made her after a failed suicide attempt and a gun threat at school. as soon as I got home she started hitting me she yanked my ear gauge out and busted my lip, she took my phone away and isn't giving it back until Christmas that way she doesn't have to buy me any gifts, I'm typing this on my dsi btw, my friend knowing my mom told her mother about what my mom did and she said I can live there until I'm 18, and they said I can drop out of school (there where 6 kids in the house and all over the age of 13 didn't go to school they worked to support the family, and that is what I was planning on) as a last resort they where going to call cps, so I packed all my thing and was about to leave until my mom said I couldn't leave and that if I did she would have my friends parents arrested for trying to kidnap me and not putting children in school, so I am forced to stay in this house until I'm 18, I'm not going to make it like this, I feel trapped I just want out

[ccsmod0]

Re: help with abusive mother

Hi,
Thank you for using our bulletin service.
First off we want to say that abuse whether its physical, sexual, emotional or verbal, it is never okay and you do not deserve it and do have the right to report it. You might want to think about making a report with Child Protective Services. Child Help USA is an information and referral line that can connect you with your local CPS abuse hotline. That number is 1-800-422-4453. If you ever felt like making a report or needed help, we are here to assist with that. We understand that making an abuse report can be intimidating so if you like we can call together to provide support.
It defiantly sounds like you are dealing with a lot. You said that your mother does not believe you when you talk to her about your self harm. Although this is not our area of expertise but if this is something that you would like additional support for you can check out https://twloha.com/. We want you to know that we recognize that it takes a lot of courage to reach out for help.
We are sorry to hear that things have been so rough for you. You mentioned that you have been dealing with a few issues and what we can do here is provide you with some referrals to agencies that can help you process what has been going on. It is great that your friend’s family is willing to let you stay with them until you turn 18. You mentioned that your mother told you that you cannot go. We want you to know that we are not legal experts nor are we affiliated with the police so we can only speak generally about what could happen if a youth leaves home without the consent of a guardian .For anyone under the age of 18 the parents have the right to make a runaway report. Since it’s only considered a status offense and not a crime to run away, the only thing that would happen is that the police will pick up the youth and bring them back home. This is of course if they had any interaction with the police directly. If the youth is found to be living with anyone else the person that they are staying with could be charged with harboring a runaway, which is a misdemeanor offense. You can find out more about how runaway’s reports are carried out by contacting your local police department.
Another option you have is to talk more with your therapist. They are there to help and listen to whatever needs you have. You should be able to talk to them about your eating disorder, sexual assault, gender identity issues, suicide and issues with peers. If you do not feel like this is a person that you can talk openly with about these issues we want you to know that you have the right to request to see someone else. If so you can give us a call and we can use our database of resources and try to find you someone else. 1-800-RUNAWAY
We do not want to leave you without options because your safety is our number one priority. We hope you can think over the option of calling us if you wish to further discuss alternatives. Be safe and good luck.

[Unregistered]

help with a neglectful family

All my life I have lived in the same house experiencing neglect of basic needs. Emotional abuse and invalidation. I lived in the same, cluttered unhygienic small house for a total of 15 years, and I am 15. Growing up, I had lice for years, I couldn't take a shower because it was to disgusting, I was pulled out of public school and home schooled in 3rd grade and very under educated to where I was way behind. I started trying to express to my mom how much I didn't like this and that it was causing me pain.
She would only invalidate me, shame me, and break me down. There were really intense arguments that were yelling, screaming, and even sometimes pushing and punching from either side. After about 3 years of rebelling and trying to get my needs met, & my pain understood, I gave up. I stopped trying. My self esteem was incredibly low and barely had any friends or true outside connections, I was on the verge of suicide and I still contemplate it.
No one in my life yet knows about this.
I stayed with my grandma for the summer, but now summers over and I have to come back home (as I am now) and relive the torment that my mother doesn't know how to treat or take care of properly. Also Im concerned for my little brother, I know he has witnessed those fights, he had to go through the same things. I took it out on him a few times unconsciously which I deeply regret now.
This home is terrible for my well being and I can't stay here for much longer, please, is there anyway I can legally just up and leave to a better and safer and liveable environment. I can't take it anymore.

[ccsmod2]

re: help with a neglectful family

Hello,

Thank you for contacting us. Based on what you shared, you seem really concerned for your health and well being. You seem to have been going through a lot of hardship at home and things had not been very helpful for you there. You do have a right to reach out for help. While we aren't legal experts and we can't say what you can do legally, we can give some basic information and resources that you can use. If you are 15 and want to leave home without permission, that is considered running away. Usually in order to live somewhere else legally you need consent from your parents and you would have to go through the courts. The police or CPS are usually the most emergency ways that a youth can be removed from the home. If you are feeling that your life is really unfit, you can reach out to them for assistance. Also, there is a hotline called Child Help USA that you can reach out to as well if you want options on what you can do. Their number is 1-800-422-4453.

Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat which is open every day from 4:30p to 11:30p CST.

Take care,
NRS