14-year-old runaway

[anon]

I seriously don't know how to stand my "home" anymore.. my mom and dad split up this summer when my mom went to jail. My mom and dad had been talking ******** about each other and hated each other. My mom promised my sister that she wasn't going to get back together with my dad (My sister honestly hates my dad). But after about 6 months being apart my mom and dad got back together and I was just getting used to my mom and dad being apart. My mom also promised my sister that she wouldn't move her stuff to my dad's house.. but she moved her stuff to my dads without saying anything to her. My mom keeps breaking promises with my sister and lying to her.. and it honestly kills me to see my sister so upset. She cries so often. My mom, dad, my sister, and I always have talks. But they just make excuses for themselves and their decisions. They go out to dinner without us. There are cameras all over our house and it makes me uncomfortable because how many houses have cameras, honestly?.. I'm about ready to cut the wire on them. All this is so overwhelming. I smoke, drink, etc.. to get all this off my mind.. because talking with them does nothing but get me grounded and flustered, they're both really stubborn. My mom also tries to intimidate me by staring at me and gives me "the look" and takes my phone. It does nothing but make me hate her even more. My best option is to just leave and hide for awhile. I have a place to stay but they won't know I ran away.. so they will not be charged with "harboring a runaway". I also still plan on continuing my homework. I'm suppose to have therapy every week but instead my mom goes out to dinners, shopping, etc with my dad. So in all fairness, what am I suppose to do to relieve the stress they put on us (my sister and I). It's getting to the point where I pretty much don't care if I die, like honestly what am I even living for anymore? To have a job and kids? It doesn't matter to me. I told my dad that my sister wanted to kill herself and he said that was pathetic. I cut myself like the majority nights of the week and my mom knows, but doesn't care. I'm over her not caring. My dad is an ass to my sister and I but is the sweetest person to my mom. I'm isolated at home (I do home schooling) and I'm not allowed to hang out with my friends.. I want to know if my mom and dad can force me to come home.. If my mom called the cops how exactly would they "force" me to come back. What would happen if I ran away again? Thank you.

[ccsmod14]

Re: 14-year-old runaway

Hi there,

We are glad you reached out to us, it sounds like you are in a difficult situation with your mom and dad. We are sorry to hear that your parents are putting you and your sister through this, and it’s understandable you would want to relieve the stress you are experiencing because of this. We are here to support you and try to help the best we can.
You mentioned a couple of times some ways your Mom has lied to your sister, and we are sorry to hear that she is doing that and it must be hard seeing your sister be hurt. It also sounds like your mom is supposed to be taking you to therapy, but she doesn’t follow through. We are sorry to hear about what your Mom is doing. It may be helpful to talk to other family members such as an aunt or uncle, cousin, or maybe a grandparent about what is going on to see if they can talk to your parents and help the situation. You said that your sister has wanted to kill herself, and that you cut yourself during the week and that your parents don’t care. We are sorry that they are treating you this way, and we are here for you. One phone number we would like to give you is for the National Suicide Hotline at 1-800-273-TALK, where trained professionals are there to support you and talk about any situation you may be going through.
You ask some really great questions about what would happen if you were to leave home, and while we are not legal experts we will try to answer them the best we can. Generally speaking, running away is a status offence- meaning it is illegal to do because of your age but you cannot be arrested or charged. However if you were to leave home without your parents’ permission, they would have the right to file a runaway report. The police would likely investigate and if the police would pick you up, they would be obligated to return you to your parents or legal guardians. We can’t say if and how they would force you to return home. You mentioned earlier a little bit about “harboring a runaway” and we can tell you a little more about that. Harboring a runaway is a misdemeanor offence and this would apply to whoever you are staying with. It may be helpful to verify with the police if the person you are staying with doesn’t know you are a runaway whether they can be arrested for harboring.
We are sorry to hear you are going through this, and it is understandable you would want to be somewhere safe and has less stress. We are here to support you, and we are available 24/7 at 1-800-RUNAWAY if you would like to talk more in depth about what’s going on and what other options we can discuss together. We also have an online chat option on our website at 1800RUNAWAY.org

Best,
NRS