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I am a 15 year old who lives in Louisiana. I cannot live with my mother anymore. I don't have a father in my life and my relationship with my mother is toxic to my health.
Growing up, my mom always made me feel bad when something upset her. She told me I was a mistake, I was an ungrateful little b***h, and I was the reason my father had left us. As I got older, the insults got worse. I became a wh**e, a f**k up, and much worse names. I started to become depressed and started cutting myself. She never noticed. In school, I am extremely talented. I make great grades and excel in all of my classes, but that isn't good enough for her. She is overly strict. I feel like I'm in prison. She only lets me leave the house for school, practice, or unless she is going somewhere. I stay in my room all day (unless I'm doing chores) because we don't talk. The only time she speaks to me is to tell me to do a chore or if she is fussing at me.
Two years ago, I ran away from home. I was hurt by the words she had said about me. I packed a small bag and left home. I was successful for 2-3 days before I got a text saying to come home or whoever I was with was going to jail for the rest of their life. I was worried about my friend, so I returned home. Last year, I tried running away again. I was brought back home the same night after going to a police station. Both times, after my return she would "discipline" me and tell me how she's such a great mother and I was such a bad daughter. Her insults come daily. I no longer cry, but it makes me angry. I do not want to do anything that will harm myself or my mother, but she sometimes makes me feel like I should prove myself to her. Lately, she has been more physical. She'll do little things like slap me when she's angry with me or threaten me. I never took it fully to heart because I thought it was simple discipline.
Two days ago, we got into a heated argument. She hit me repeatedly while I was sleep. I woke up with a couple of light bruises that I covered up. In the car, she bragged about hitting me while I was sleep because she was mad at me the night before. That night she told me that if I ran away, she would make my life a living hell. She told me there was no where I could hide from her and she would do anything to find me and send me to juvie. I had heard all of this before, but things took a sharp turn when she told me "I brought you into this world, and before I let you run away and let the streets have you, I will kill you my d*mn self."
I don't know what to do. I'm scared to call CPS and tell them what's going on because she has friends who work for them and close police friends. What if they make me go back home with her? What if they think I'm not telling the truth? I want to run away for my third and final time. This time I want to never have to come back. I never want to see her again. What should I do?
Growing up, my mom always made me feel bad when something upset her. She told me I was a mistake, I was an ungrateful little b***h, and I was the reason my father had left us. As I got older, the insults got worse. I became a wh**e, a f**k up, and much worse names. I started to become depressed and started cutting myself. She never noticed. In school, I am extremely talented. I make great grades and excel in all of my classes, but that isn't good enough for her. She is overly strict. I feel like I'm in prison. She only lets me leave the house for school, practice, or unless she is going somewhere. I stay in my room all day (unless I'm doing chores) because we don't talk. The only time she speaks to me is to tell me to do a chore or if she is fussing at me.
Two years ago, I ran away from home. I was hurt by the words she had said about me. I packed a small bag and left home. I was successful for 2-3 days before I got a text saying to come home or whoever I was with was going to jail for the rest of their life. I was worried about my friend, so I returned home. Last year, I tried running away again. I was brought back home the same night after going to a police station. Both times, after my return she would "discipline" me and tell me how she's such a great mother and I was such a bad daughter. Her insults come daily. I no longer cry, but it makes me angry. I do not want to do anything that will harm myself or my mother, but she sometimes makes me feel like I should prove myself to her. Lately, she has been more physical. She'll do little things like slap me when she's angry with me or threaten me. I never took it fully to heart because I thought it was simple discipline.
Two days ago, we got into a heated argument. She hit me repeatedly while I was sleep. I woke up with a couple of light bruises that I covered up. In the car, she bragged about hitting me while I was sleep because she was mad at me the night before. That night she told me that if I ran away, she would make my life a living hell. She told me there was no where I could hide from her and she would do anything to find me and send me to juvie. I had heard all of this before, but things took a sharp turn when she told me "I brought you into this world, and before I let you run away and let the streets have you, I will kill you my d*mn self."
I don't know what to do. I'm scared to call CPS and tell them what's going on because she has friends who work for them and close police friends. What if they make me go back home with her? What if they think I'm not telling the truth? I want to run away for my third and final time. This time I want to never have to come back. I never want to see her again. What should I do?
or the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453) where they might be able to help further or explore further options. As far as what you should do is completely up to you. We want to provide you with resources and options for you to make a choice that is best for yourself.
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