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15 & Tired

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  • 15 & Tired

    I am a 15 year old who lives in Louisiana. I cannot live with my mother anymore. I don't have a father in my life and my relationship with my mother is toxic to my health.

    Growing up, my mom always made me feel bad when something upset her. She told me I was a mistake, I was an ungrateful little b***h, and I was the reason my father had left us. As I got older, the insults got worse. I became a wh**e, a f**k up, and much worse names. I started to become depressed and started cutting myself. She never noticed. In school, I am extremely talented. I make great grades and excel in all of my classes, but that isn't good enough for her. She is overly strict. I feel like I'm in prison. She only lets me leave the house for school, practice, or unless she is going somewhere. I stay in my room all day (unless I'm doing chores) because we don't talk. The only time she speaks to me is to tell me to do a chore or if she is fussing at me.

    Two years ago, I ran away from home. I was hurt by the words she had said about me. I packed a small bag and left home. I was successful for 2-3 days before I got a text saying to come home or whoever I was with was going to jail for the rest of their life. I was worried about my friend, so I returned home. Last year, I tried running away again. I was brought back home the same night after going to a police station. Both times, after my return she would "discipline" me and tell me how she's such a great mother and I was such a bad daughter. Her insults come daily. I no longer cry, but it makes me angry. I do not want to do anything that will harm myself or my mother, but she sometimes makes me feel like I should prove myself to her. Lately, she has been more physical. She'll do little things like slap me when she's angry with me or threaten me. I never took it fully to heart because I thought it was simple discipline.

    Two days ago, we got into a heated argument. She hit me repeatedly while I was sleep. I woke up with a couple of light bruises that I covered up. In the car, she bragged about hitting me while I was sleep because she was mad at me the night before. That night she told me that if I ran away, she would make my life a living hell. She told me there was no where I could hide from her and she would do anything to find me and send me to juvie. I had heard all of this before, but things took a sharp turn when she told me "I brought you into this world, and before I let you run away and let the streets have you, I will kill you my d*mn self."

    I don't know what to do. I'm scared to call CPS and tell them what's going on because she has friends who work for them and close police friends. What if they make me go back home with her? What if they think I'm not telling the truth? I want to run away for my third and final time. This time I want to never have to come back. I never want to see her again. What should I do?

  • #2
    We want to thank you for reaching out to us here at NRS. We know that you have been through a lot and have decided to reach out and seek help. We hope to help in any way we can.
    After reading your story it seems like you have been through a lot and have found very little help around you because of the people your mom knows. We want to say that we are very sorry to hear that your mom has been this way. No one deserves to be put down and hit again and again so neither should you. Please know that your safety matters and that if for any reason you do not feel safe please call the Police. You have the right to feel safe and cared for. If you feel like no one would listen to you perhaps telling someone in school could help since they are there to help you. Another option you have is reaching out to the National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (1-800-843-567 or the National Child Abuse Hotline (1-800-422-4453) where they might be able to help further or explore further options. As far as what you should do is completely up to you. We want to provide you with resources and options for you to make a choice that is best for yourself.
    Again thank you for reaching out us. We understand that life can be difficult but our hope is that we helped best we could. If you have more questions or concerns please do not hesitate to call us at (1-800-786-2929) or online at ( on our chat option.
    Best Wishes-NRS
    Last edited by ccsmod9; 10-06-2018, 03:38 AM.
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
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    Tell us what you think about your experience!


    • #3
      hi. i enjoyed reading your story because i’m going thru something similar. my dad has always had bad drug problems, and my stepdad is very rude and abusive, and my mother chooses his side over mine. i plan to run away in a few months with an adult friend. i just need advice and answers to a few of my questions.


      • ccsmod15
        ccsmod15 commented
        Editing a comment
        Hey there,
        We are glad this forum has helped you, it seems like you are going through a frustrating and scary time with your dad going through drug problems on top of other issues at your mom’s. It seems like you are considering running away, if you want help staying safe as you consider your options and want to make a plan or see what there is out there to help you can always reach out to our online chat, or call 1-800-786-2929.
        We hope to hear from you soon!
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