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Trying To Avoid Having To Runaway

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  • Trying To Avoid Having To Runaway

    I currently am in the custody of my father. I left my mothers thinking my dad was a better option only to discover my dad really was as psychotic and my mother had told me. I've been putting p wth my narcissistic fathers ways, him threading to hit me, calling me names and cursing at me, threatening me and lying about me to people around me so they think what I say about my dad is not true, he is truly unfit to be a parent and now CPS is even involved due to me confiding in a counselor at school about how bad things were and her telling me based on what I've said that he fits for a mandatory report of neglect/abuse to police and cps. My mother wants me to live with her, and while it's a better option than my father, another family has mentioned that they would love to be able to take me in and they are filled in on my complicated parental issues and they are a very kind family with two children whom they've very obviously raised excellently, and by staying with them I won't have to switch to another school(my mom lives in Georgia and this family goes to the same school as I do currently.) right now the priority is to get away from my dad, is it possible to legally have this family take care of me, or will I be sent to my mothers? And if all hell breaks loose and cps wont let me live with this family, or even remove me from my fathers custody, what then? I don't want it to get to the point where I have to abandon everything and completely take off and stay with a family member till I'm 18. I'm currently 16, 17 in November and I just want to be okay. I don't want to have to abandon everything I've built here. I've been here for going on four years now, which is the longest I've ever lived anywhere. I'd been putting up with my dad for the life I'd built but I don't think it's safe anymore. What going to happen, what can I do?

  • #2

    Thanks for reaching out to us here at NRS! We really appreciate you taking this step to see what options you have and it is very brave to share a little bit about what has been going on. We are going to talk about some options in this response but, if you feel they don’t feel they fit your situation and want to explore other plans, if you want to talk about these options more, or if you just even just want to talk in general we are here 24/7. Don’t hesitate to reach out to us here at 1-800-RUNAWAY.

    We first want to say we are really sorry that you have been living in this very difficult situation. It must be difficult to have left your mom’s house to try to have a good relationship with your dad but, now he treats you in a way you don’t deserve to be treated at all. We do want to say we aren’t legal experts but, we can explore some of the things you mentioned and talk about the way CPS works. We know you mentioned the way your dad has been treating you has already involved CPS. Again we aren’t CPS experts but, we do have general information. You did express wanting to either live with your mom or the family you mentioned that can help. Some things to think about would be pros and cons for each situation as you said with the distance and schooling situation. Addressing these may help with CPS if a case worker is assigned and you do leave your dad’s home.
    CPS works in the youth’s best interest and tries to keep families together while helping to find the best possible solution. As you said CPS is already involved which we can explore more of what they have already done if you reach out to us here and call us. But, generally CPS has options they use if the youth is removed from the home. They could look into rehabilitation with your dad which could mean counseling, therapy, parenting classes, etc. Another option is removing you from the home to live with a relative, as you said your mom. It can get tricky with the family you mentioned as CPS would want to look into how long you’ve known, how you know them, if you have lived with them before, etc. These are just things to think about. Again, we do not know the specifics of what would happen in your situation but, we do have a resource that can help. Child Help is the national child abuse hotline that can answer some more specific questions you have about the process CPS takes and what they think could occur in your case. They can be reached at 1-800-422-4453.

    Again we are always here to talk about the situation and brainstorm some ideas so, don’t hesitate to reach out. It takes a lot of strength to talk about what has been going and try to make a plan to help better your situation. We hope to hear from you soon!

    Best, NRS
    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

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