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What should I do for him?

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  • What should I do for him?

    I am the father of 3 boys from 12-17 and one of my boys' friends I believe is being abused by his mother or going to soon become a throwaway. The boy is 16 and i have known him since he was about 10. I have never met his parents because his father walked out when he was a baby and as he says his mom "just isn't around". He has mentioned he had a brother 12 years older than him and who left when he was only 15. The boy is usually withdrawn around a lot of people and doesn't talk much. He spends most of his time at my house which I have no problem with but my oldest son who knows him the best says he will sometimes disappear from school for weeks at a time and then come back with burns and bruises that don't match his stories.A thing that I thought was strange was he once showed me a picture of his brother who is about 6'5 and 230 pounds while the boy is only 5'6 and weighs less than 100.He also has trouble walking and moving around a lot and he acts much older than he is. Another thing is throughout the winter he always wore oversized clothes that looked old and worn out and sometimes didn't fit the weather at all. He gets very anxious when I have friends over that he isn't used to seeing though I have seen him truly scared when he realizes he is going to be home later than expected. He has many things that I know need medical attention but don't get it such as A.D.D., panic/anxiety attacks, chronic asthma, hemophilia, labored breathing much of the time,O.C.D., and a few almost unrealistic fears of things such as the dark, things with blades, rope, confined spaces, and the stove top. Today he mentioned running away to my middle son who is 15 as a way to solve a few of his problems he had with his mom as he calls them. I told him not too so now he is asleep on my couch and I intend to let him stay as long as he wants to. The problem is if I don't call in and report abuse will they make him go back to his home even though he isn't safe there?

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    Re: What should I do for him?

    Thanks for contacting us here at NRS. It is very unfortunate that your son's friend is experiencing this abuse somewhere in his family. It seems as if you are really concerned with him and are willing to help him in any way that you can, but only to keep things safe. That is the best way to go and you should feel good of yourself to be reaching out for asssistance on his behalf. You mention quite a few things that he is dealing with. We probably can not address each situation fully via this bulletin board but we are sure that if we were to speak to either you or him that we would aid in providing referrals to be checked out. As far as you allowing the youth to stay at your home as long as he wants...If his family is aware of him and your son being good friends and suspect him being there and found him there and had proof that he had been there for a period of time, you could be charged with harboring a runaway. If you didn't call in the abuse on his behalf then yes, he probably would be returned home to his leagal guardians until documents proving an abuse case is received. He can also go to a shelter but will eventally get to the same process if he planned on staying for some time, because they are required to contact parents/guardians immeidately (in some cases). Also, since there were so many things dicussed he would have lots of options and referrals available to him. We can be reached 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY! GOOD LUCK!


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