12 year old son left home

[Unregistered]

My 12 year old, 7th grade son had a bad fight with his father tonight and he left home. He has only been gone 3 hours so far but we cannot find him and anyone we have called that he may have gone to or contacted has not seen him. He does not have a cell phone with him so that option is out. His coat and backpack and some clothes are gone from his room, and he took money from his father's wallet, so we are assuming he is planning on being gone, and not just blowing off steam.

Of course, I am hoping he comes home tonight. I realize 3 hours is not too long in the whole scheme of things but he has never done anything like this before. He has been in counseling for anxiety and anger issues. I am trying to get ahold of his counselor but it is the weekend and I am only getting her voicemail.

At what point can I call the police and report a runaway? I have heard they won't even start looking for one for a couple days. Will his young age get them to look sooner? It is relatively warm out now (in the 40s) but the weather is supposed to get bad in the next 24 hours, dropping down into the teens and single digits, and I worry for his safety, among other things.

[ccsmod3]

Re: 12 year old son left home

Hello,

We’re very sorry to hear your son has left home. We can only imagine what you might be going through and are here to offer help and support. It sounds like you are quite hopeful your son will return tonight, but are concerned for his safety as well. That is completely understandable and it sounds like you are trying your hardest as his parent. In terms of the runaway report, some police departments will say you have to wait a certain amount of time (such as until curfew.) However, as his parent/legal guardian you should be able to do some right away if you insist since he is a minor and does not have permission to be away from home.

Your local police can tell you their reporting process for certain and contacting your local non-emergency police department number is certainly an option. Besides the police, there are other missing children’s organizations that offer their own reporting databases and assistance with posters and such. If you decide to go that route, here are a few links to get you started:
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children (NCMEC): Helps with posters, flyers, has a database as well as other ideas.

1-800-THE-LOST (843-567

http://www.missingkids.com/home

Beyond Missing : Helps you remain proactive by offering you a DIY tool to make flyers.

http://www.beyondmissing.com/

Find Your Missing Child: Helps you maximize social media in your search.

http://www.findyourmissingchild.org/

We are also here to continue discussing your situation. We can be contacted directly two ways. First, we offer our Live Chat every day from 4:30 to 11:30pm CST. Simply go to our homepage and click on the red Live Chat button. Or, we offer a 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). We wish you all the best.

-NRS

[Unregistered]

Thank you for your response...It has been over 24 hours and my son is still not home. We have contacted everyone and my husband has been out all night and day looking. He has not slept. (I am at home with our other kids and the phone and needless to say I have not slept either.) We have heard nothing from our son.

We contacted the police in our area and they will not officially consider him "missing" until 48 hours, especially since we know he is a runaway (versus an abduction, etc.). However they do patrol regularly in the area we live/where most of our son's friends live, and they have his photo and have agreed to take it on patrol. If they happen to see him they will bring him in. I brought his photo to some businesses in our area today but no one has seen him.

I am so worried. The weather is getting colder and colder. He has his coat (at least, it is gone from his room) but I can't imagine that will keep him warm enough overnight tonight in 12-degree weather. He is a smart kid, but he's angry and can be impulsive, so while I don't want to believe he'd hitchhike or go with someone he doesn't know, I guess I don't know anymore. I didn't think he'd run away, either.

We are looking into some of the other resources you listed, so thank you. I just wish there was something we could do immediately, and that the police would do something more than just "keep an eye out" before another day has gone by.

[ccsmod0]

Re: 12 year old son left home

Hi again,

Thanks for letting us know what’s been going on. Again, we can’t imagine what you must be going through. It certainly seems like a very difficult situation you are dealing with. It sounds like you are trying to remain strong and you are absolutely taking some great steps to try and find him. That is admirable to say the least.

We understand that you are frustrated with the lack of response from the police. And you have still remained proactive.
A couple of other options for you that you may not have tried:

1. Contacting the school can be good to try to see if they have seen any unusual behavior or to see if he has been hanging out with other friends who you might not be aware of. Contacting those friends can also be another option for you.
2. Again, you are incredibly strong. A resource that could be helpful to you is a hotline called Team HOPE. They are a hotline for parents of runaway children, run BY parents of runaway children. They can act as a support group for you as well as talk through with you specific things they’ve tried to find their children and get them to stay home.

We hope these options will keep you moving forward in finding your son. If you’d like to talk more, please feel free to call us 24 hours a day at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929). If you aren’t able to call in, you can chat with us through our website (www.1800runaway.org) from 4.30pm-11.30pm Central Time.

We look forward to you call or chat.

Best of luck to you,

NRS

[Unregistered]

I'm Sorry

I'm sorry to hear that your son has chosen to runaway from home. I hope that you and your husband are able to find him. I hope that he is safe.

[ccsmod7]

I'm Sorry

Thank you so much for your kind words. During difficult times like this it can be helpful to know others care. We are sure these parents appreciate the support as well.