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Resources are frustrating me

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  • Resources are frustrating me

    Last night before going to bed, I got up to check on my four kids...something I have done every night for the last 9 years. Upon entering the boys bedroom we saw that my 9 year olds bed was empty and the window that leads onto the porch was open. I can't even begin to tell you how angry I am and confused. I would have expected it from my 8 year old but not my 9 year old.

    Things have been hard. In the last year, I kicked my husband out because of domestic violence, I then lost my job because my husband left the state instead of helping taking care of the kids so I could work. I lost my apartment because my landlord sold it to his daughter, I found out my father died 2 years ago and on top of that the same day I found out my aunt died the day before, we moved in with a friend and that didn't work out so we moved to the family shelter. June 29th we finally moved into our own apartment and then recently after a year of being gone my husband comes back to NH and has been playing head games with me to the point I've not let my kids go anywhere and I have the police on high alert.

    My life has been nothing but downs sense my car accident in 2006. I had to give up my kids for a year until I could learn to walk again and sense then I've not been able to seek employment. I refuse to go on disability so money is tight.

    I'm only one person and as much as I try I can't spend time with all of my kids all of the time. There is just no way. They always want me to do one-on-ones with them and I do love to do it but again there just isn't enough time in the day to spend the time that they want me to. I've been blessed that they want to be around me so much and I am so incredibly grateful but at the same time I am so worn out and exhausted.

    Anyway, My son ran away last night and the funny thing is I had just been talking to the shelter care plus program people about putting bars on the windows because I felt they were too low to the ground and I was afraid my 3 year old or my two year old would fall out. It is still being discussed. My son walked 4 miles at midnight to Wal-Mart to go look at the toys. He had packed a bag and in that bag he had packed a pair of socks, shorts and a sweatshirt( apparently he had big plans). The whole time that he was gone all I could think about was he walked down the street and fell in the dam or he fell down the embankment and he can't talk or call for help. I was getting so mad at the police because they were searching my home instead of outside near the water even after I told the police that I had searced everywhere including the stove and the refrigerator, cabinets, bath tub, under the beds under the mattress', in the laundry room washers and dryers. They were wasting time and I don't think I have ever wanted to stupid slap someone...and I am not a violent person...when my son returned home the police told me not to worry about punishing him that night but to hug him and let him know that I was happy he was home and that he was safe....hard as I tried though I could not stop crying and I could not wait until today to ask him why he did it, what was he thinking, did he even consider the things that could have happened to him, how would I explain to his siblings that he wasn't there and worst of all how the heck was I going to sleep knowing that he could do it agian. I have not been to bed yet and I am at work because I just don't think I could be in the same house with my son and not break down...I don't have access to the internet except at work and my reception on my phone is not good in my home so I don't even have reliable device to converse on

    So my problem is I am not exactly brain is just...I feel like I've been on a 2 week binder and Im drunk and everything is going in slooooow motion. (I am not drunk)! I don't know if I should discuss this with the other kids around or if I should take him aside and talk with him, and what do I even say to him to get him to understand what he has done...what do I do for a punishment...Right now he is at home on a childrens harness attatched to the boyfriend because I am too afraid to let him out of his site while I am gone....Please let me know what I should do and how I should do it.


    Drained mom of 5

  • #2
    Thank you for contacting us and telling us your story. It sounds like you have a lot going on right now and we hope to be able to provide you with some resources. We are sorry to hear about everything that you have been up against for the past few years but it sounds like you are doing the best you can to take care of your kids. We are sorry to hear that the police weren’t able to give you much help last night and that they frustrated you so much.

    You said that your 9 year old left last night and went to Wal-Mart to look at the toys, is that correct? We are glad to hear that he is home safely but it sounds like that was a very scary situation for you. It also sounds like you are concerned about how to approach your other children about this. Are they aware of what happened last night? If you were to talk with them about the situation, what do you think they may say or do?

    Unfortunately, we are unable to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do. Here at the National Runaway Switchboard we are a confidential and anonymous hotline that is non directive. What we can do is talk about what is going on and try to provide you with some resources to help you further. We are glad to hear that your boyfriend is able to help you out for the time being in making sure that your son remains safe. It also sounds like your ex husband has been giving you some difficulties lately and we are sorry to hear that. Would you be able to tell us more about that situation? It sounds like you have the police on alert in regards to him. Another place that may be able to provide you with some resources to help you with him is the National Domestic Violence Hotline; their number is 1-800-799-7233.

    Also, there is a hotline called Team H.O.P.E. (Help Offering Parents Empowerment) that may be able to provide you with some additional resources and support. The people who answer the phones are other parents who have been through similar situations. Their phone number is 1-866-305-4673.

    We are available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week at 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) if you would like to discuss other options that may be available to you. We have a database with numbers for shelters, counseling, legal aid and other social services. We also have an online chat that is available from 4:30 PM-11:30 PM (CST), 7 days a week through our website (

    We look forward to hearing from you and wish you the best of luck.

    Please remember you can reach us directly by calling our 24 hour hotline, 1-800-RUNAWAY (786-2929) or through our Live Chat.

    National Runaway Safeline
    [email protected] (Crisis Email)
    1-800-RUNAWAY (24 Hour Hotline)

    Tell us what you think about your experience!


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