15 year old daughter ran away..hanging with 19 year old

[Unregistered]

Today is Friday night and my 15 year old left Tuesday after an argument for not checking in all day and then wanting to take off again.For 2 days I didn't know where she was and then she showed up at 3am and asked to come in. After being so angry for searching for her, I said no and shut the door. I dont know what I am doing or what to do. She wont go to school, so we put her in online school, she tested positive for weed and cocaine, she is sexually active, she stole a fifth of liquor from a store and went to jail, they never pressed charges, but i owe the $200 to the store now. This is the 3rd time she has ran away, and for the last 4 months she has stayed out all night at least once or twice a week. I am always worrying, we took her to the police the last time she showed up at 6:30 am and I thought they scared the crap out of her, but that lasted a week and she was back to the same stuff. We have tried counseling and it never worked. She is hanging with a 19 year old girl who I have told several times to stay away from my daughter and she told me "No one is going to tell me who I can or cannot be friends with", the police said even though my daughter admits this girl gives her drugs unless they are caught in the act I cannot press charges for contributing to a minor. I have a 13 year old and 11 year old who are always angry because they have to do chores, check in and get good grades and their sister doesnt do anything. She blows up when she is told not to leave, screams and cusses. I am also in Nursing school for my RN full time 24-30 hours a week, not working, bills not paid, etc, etc, trying to make it till I graduate in December and hoping to move to a better place. She will do nothing to help, she wont even pick up a dish to wash..I feel like I am going to loose my mind, I cant take any more stress..... what do I do? Do I hunt her down again and make her come home? I cant keep going thru this any more, it has been getting worse for the past 2 years. I tell her I love her all the time, I try to understand how she feels, I remind I was 15 once. We keep lowering, and lowering what is expected of her and punishment, grounding, cell phone taken, no computer, nothing works!!!!!!! Please help....

[ccsmod4]

15 year old daughter ran away.. hanging with 19 year old

Hi,

We appreciate you taking the time to visit the National Runaway Switchboard website and posting on the bulletin board.

It appears you’ve been going through a lot.
First of all take a deep breath you deserve it.
Your daughter situation has had you try many things to regain control.

This experience seems to have you on an emotional rollercoaster ride.
We hope you are taking measures to take care of yourself.
We understand how this must be emotionally difficult for you.
We hope that you have family or friends you can turn to for support.

This crisis seems to now be affecting your younger children.
One can certainly understand how something like this can be disturbing to the family as a whole.
You don’t deserve this type of behavior from your daughter.
She is seems to be going through a difficult time of her own.
Has she opened up as to what is driving her behavior?
Perhaps there is something you can remember that may have triggered her current behavior.
It's good to have someone your corner; she is fortunate to have you fighting for her well being.

It seems among a few of the things you have tried is counseling but you don’t feel it helped much.
Is that right?

We would be happy to discuss some other options you might have in mind.

You can give us a call at our 1-800-Runaway 24hr crisis hotline to discuss what you might want to do.
One of our liners would be happy to assist you.
NRS has a national data base of agencies with programs to help families in need of services.
Perhaps we can take a look at some options in your area.

How does that sound?

You have a lot on your plate with going to school and trying to raise your family.
It does not sound like an easy job.
You deserve a lot of credit for holding it together while dealing with your daughter’s behavior.
Your determination to try and help your children speaks volumes of your feelings for them.
We understand the levels of frustrations you are feeling.
It’s a lot to carry.

We like to point out again how important it is to have support.
Perhaps counseling would be something you’d be interested in for yourself.

How do you feel about this option?

There may be options of juvenile court intervention programs in your area.
This may be something we can help you to discover.
Your local police department may also be able to assist you with getting this information.

Most states have programs for court ordered youth or families in need of services.
These programs are often used to serve as a deterrent to bad behavior.
For Ex. Family or individual Counseling, drug counseling (residential or outpatient) possible juvenile detention.
All may be considered as options for the courts.

Sometimes the courts may make it mandatory for youths to participate in this kind of crisis intervention.
This may occur when everything else the parents have tried failed.

Is this something you might want to look into?

By calling 1-800-Runaway (786-2929) we assist you with looking for said services in your area.

Please visit our website for more information in regards towards services for parents.

The website address is: www.1800runaway.org

You can get resources and referrals by contacting NRS Live Chat.

NRS Live Chat is available on our website 7days a week from 4:30pm until 11:30pm.

You can also contact us via email for information and referrals at: [email protected]

It’s good that you contact the police and file runaway reports when your daughter takes off and is gone over 24hrs. It shows that you are taking action and that’s a good thing.

You are welcome to give her our information as well.
Perhaps we can be a listening ear for you both.

We are very sorry that situation concerning your daughter has put your family in such an emotional state.
We wish you all the best.

Thanks again for posting on our NRS bulletin Board.
Take Care,
NRS